What the hell am I going to do?
An hour later, I’m about to pull off into the left hand lane, and head up the slip road that will take me off the dual carriageway and in the direction of home, when my phone rings. At least ‘me so horny’ has been replaced with Lionel Richie’s ‘Hello’ - Colin was definitely playing it safe - very tame for him, I’m impressed. The no caller ID flashes and I’m tempted to ignore it, my arm hurts after the blood tests and I need to get some lunch, but it could be a new client so on a whim, I decide to give in to my inquisitive nature. “Hello, Elysium Interiors?”
“Hello, may I speak to Lucia Myers?”
The voice on the other end of the phone sounds friendly and efficient and I relax. “That’s me - how can I help?”
“Your GP has called our office this morning with a referral for an ultrasound scan and we have had a cancellation today at 2pm - would you be able to make it?” Whoa! This is all going far too fast. I knew they’d be calling soon but I thought the scan would be in a few weeks?
“Err… I thought it would be a while until I had to have the scan…”
“Dr Graham has marked your request as urgent and we like to get our urgent referrals seen within 14 days, but once our radiographer saw your medical notes, we felt it best to see you sooner anyway - then this cancellation came up.”
“Oh - well I suppose I can come… yes…”
“Super. If you can ensure you drink at least two pints of still water 30 minutes prior to the scan.”
“I remember. Yes, I will and thanks again.”
“Not a problem. If you come to the main x-ray department at Lords General Hospital and then head for Maternity clinic, it’s the only one on today.”
So that’s that then. This was becoming way too real!
The ultrasound department was an ‘L’ shaped corridor with treatment room doors which led off from it, numbered 1- 6. As I take my first few tentative steps down the vaguely familiar hallway, I glance at some of the women waiting for their appointments; many in varying stages on impending motherhood.
I can do this - you can do this girl.
A rather dour nurse asks my name and directs me to a seat, informing me that I’ll be going into room 4.
“Have you drunk enough water?”
I nod and wiggle uncomfortably in the orange plastic hard-backed chair - any more and I’d disgrace myself.
“Well there’s a water tank at the corner and paper cups if you need to top up- try not to spend a penny before the first part of the scan.”
I know the drill.
I instinctively place my hand across my tummy, now slightly bloated from my fit to bursting bladder. I should have discussed this with Sebastian before I came to the hospital. It’s all been such a rush I feel in a complete fog. But how could I just ring him at work and drop it on him now, even though part of me wants to do exactly that. “Morning, Seb? All good? Yeah I’m great - work busy? Good good - by the way, you’re going to be a Daddy - yeah, I know its quick, but it’s great news isn’t it? Let’s go pram shopping.”
No, that wasn’t the way I wanted to tell him. It had to be done properly - it was already too soon, and placing far too much pressure on our fledgling relationship. I have to get all the facts first then I can think things through and figure out the best way to tell him. I’ve not even come to terms with it myself yet. I glance across at the posters crowding the wall in front of me, showcasing breastfeeding, anti-smoking in pregnancy campaigns and then my eyes fix on a 40 week gestation calendar. If I was 7 weeks pregnant the baby would be about the size of a blueberry.
I’m lost in my own little world and nearly miss my name being called by the radiographer that has appeared at the doorway of room 4, her blonde curls and bright lipsticked smile, a comforting boost as my knees nearly buckle upon standing. I head in and place my bag and coat on the chair and take a deep breath to calm my nerves.; right girl this is it - do or die.
“Lucia Myers?”
“Yes.”
“Good, at least we’ve got that part right.” She chuckles and I smile weakly at her attempts to settle my anxiety. “Have you had a scan before?”
I nod. “With my first baby and also with gynae problems.”
“Ok good, so you know what to expect. If you can lie back onto the bed, pull your top up and undo your trousers, then pull those and your pants down to your pubic bone. I’ll rub some cold gel on your tum and we’ll see what’s going on inside of there.”
I go into robot mode and lie back onto the exam table, the fresh paper covering it, tearing slightly with my movements. Do they never fix the ceiling tiles in this place - there’s always one that’s cracked or stained from a leak? My mind wanders off as I hear the Radiologist gathering her equipment and speaking to her assistant.