Almost four years earlier…
“Something isn’t right. Something bad is happening; I can feel it.”
“It’s fine, darling - the doctor has scanned you and the baby is in the right position, all observations look good - everything is going to plan.”
I look up into my mum’s big green eyes, identical to mine and roll my lips tightly as the next contraction blasts into me. Jesus fucking Christ - no one told me it was this painful. WTF?
“Are you having another?”
I nod, through gritted teeth. Did the eyes popping out of my head, give it away? Then instantly berate myself, she was only trying help and I moan in thanks, as I feel her knuckles begin to knead my lower back, pushing in firm repetitive circles, in time to my laboured breathing.
Where the fuck is Niall?
As though she’s read my mind, Nina Myers asks the same question. “Niall should be here now - how long does it take to grab your hospital bag?”
“I’m sure he’ll be here soon, Mum.” He’s only had 9 months to plan for it!
“Well he better be or he’ll have me to answer to.”
God help him - I smile weakly at her furrowed brow. “I’m OK but I think I might just take the midwife up on that offer of an epidural now.”
Mum’s perfectly threaded arches show me she realises how much pain I’m in. That had not been part of my birthing plan - I abhor needles with a passion but right now, at this very moment I’d happily have one inserted into my spine - fuck I’d do it myself, if it meant the excruciating pain clawing at my lower back and hips and stabbing into my stomach, lessened.
“I’ll go grab the nurse - things really should be progressing a little quicker than this. Let’s get you numbed up and then you’ll feel like a new woman in a bit darling - you'll be sitting up, reading OK magazine and we can have a natter about baby names.”
I feel her comforting hand sweep across my clammy forehead; her palm is cool to the touch but I’m still on fire. I draw my legs up, as another agonising pain rips through my abdomen, and I hear a loud scream reverberate in the distance - was that my voice? I’m light-headed, dizzy - I feel like I could pass out and the pain is unbearable. I’d been like this for eight hours now and each time the midwife examines me, I’m informed that I’ve only dilated a few centimetres. The last time I’d been tempted to shove a gloved-finger up her flue, and try tickle her cervix- see how she liked it!
Why am I not dilating? Where the fuck is Niall?
Those fucking sharp claws are back again, clutching at my back and then reaching into my stomach to knife through it in sickening waves - my stomach feels like warm water has burst inside me, and is swimming around on my left side. The heat is scorching - like being in a scolding hot bath.
Wait! I don’t think the baby is moving anymore? Come on sweetie, wake-up for Mummy.
I can hear voices and machines bleeping and the blur of figures - lots of people; far too many people around me, touching me, pawing at me. I can’t breathe. My eyes are so heavy. I can’t keep them open anymore - I could just give in to the blackness that beckons - the one place where the pain will not exist - just for a second. Then I’ll fight, again.
I’m just so tired; so very very tired, and so very very dizzy.
Almost four years earlier…
Holdgate Hospital was twenty minutes from my address; tonight I made the journey in ten. It’s a wonder I hadn’t been pulled by the Police. I’d seriously broken every speed limit going. I anxiously feed the meter, drop the ticket in the window and zap the car before running hell for leather in the direction of the maternity unit - a place I’d never entered, nor ever expected to anytime soon.
From the moment that Nina Myers had called me with the news, I’d gone into panic mode.
Fuck, she'd better be Ok!!!
Nina had informed me that Niall had finally turned up, the contempt in her voice had been hard to miss. Where the fuck had he been? Just the thought of Lucia on her own, going through all this made my teeth itch and fists clench. Niall, he had been my mate at University but lately I was beginning to question his integrity and if I’m honest I had serious fears about his loyalty to Lucia.
I make it to the reception desk and try patiently to wait my turn, whilst the nurse on duty discusses a case with another member of staff. When they begin to start talking about what they’re doing at the weekend, I completely lose it!
“Lucia Myers!” My bellow ripples down the corridor and I take a breath and tone it down a notch, upon seeing their shocked pale faces. “… Please!”
“And you are?”
“Needing to see her right now!”