Her heart clenched and sank. “And those born to wealth and privilege are a species you have no time for,” she clarified, but his tone had been clear enough.
“It’s a culture of one-upmanship. It’s dishonest.”
If he knew the truth about her, she’d only reinforce his theory—she had been born to wealth and privilege and her life now—even her own name—was a lie. And it mattered. For some reason Liam Hawke’s opinion of her mattered way more than it should. A tight band seemed to clamp around her chest, making it difficult to draw in breath.
“You know,” she said, putting down her roller, “it’s quite late. I’ll finish this tomorrow. Thanks for your help.”
She heard a muffled groan and turned. He stretched up into standing and rubbed a hand over his eyes. If he knew she was another one of the people who lied to him, there would be disgust in his gaze. Disgust at her. How would she be able to stand that? She looked back to the roller tray.
“Jenna,” he said softly.
Even knowing what he’d think of her if he knew the truth, she couldn’t help turning back to him when he said her name.
“I shouldn’t have laid all that on you. I’m sorry.” He reached a hand out to rest on her shoulder. “It’s my crap, not yours and now I’ve made you uncomfortable.”
His nearness made her pulse race, and her shoulder tingled where his hand rested. The contrast between that excitement and the heaviness in her chest about her deception was almost too much to bear.
“No, you didn’t say anything wrong. I’m just tired. Probably too many paint fumes.”
“Here, I’ll help you clean up,” he said, turning and picking up the brushes.
Five more minutes this close to him was out of the question. She had to get some space or risk losing control, pushing him against that wall and kissing him with all the crazy, confused desire inside her. Or she might even break down and confess the secret she’d been keeping. Then he’d see her as the same as all the other people who’d lied to him. Either option was unthinkable.
She pasted on a fake smile that she knew didn’t reach her eyes.
“It will only take me a minute. Really,” she said, with as much conviction as she could muster. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
For a long moment, he didn’t move, just watched her with a frown line crossing his forehead. Then he nodded slowly. “Tomorrow.” And he walked out the door.
Six
The afternoon sun streamed through the window of Bonnie’s nursery, silhouetting Jenna as she painted the final touches on the newly white window frame.
She hadn’t heard him, so for a moment Liam took the opportunity to watch her work, to appreciate the sheer beauty of this woman who’d so suddenly become a part of his life. A woman who made the world a little brighter wherever she was.
He must have made a sound because she started and turned. “Oh, it’s you,” she said in her musical accent.
“Just me.” He stepped into the room. “No babies?”
She rested her brush on the side of the paint tin and rose to stretch. “Bonnie’s asleep and Katherine has taken Meg for a walk.”
“Katherine?” he asked, incredulous.
Jenna shrugged one shoulder, causing the pale blue cotton of her T-shirt to stretch across her breasts. “She offered. She said she could see I wanted to finish the painting, but I think she and Meg have developed a certain devotion to each other.”
In the eight years Katherine had worked for either him or his parents in this house, he’d never seen her display devotion to anything other than her job. “Wonders will never cease,” he said and considered whether he’d been underestimating his housekeeper.
“Don’t be too surprised,” Jenna said with a lopsided grin. “She still doesn’t particularly like me.”
He laughed as much for Jenna’s self-deprecation as for the humor in the situation. “Then the universe still makes sense.”
She picked up a rag and wiped her hands. “If you’re just dropping in to see Bonnie, I can—”
“No,” he said, interrupting her. “I’m home for the day.”
Her eyes were wide when they met his. “At four o’clock?”
He dug his hands into his pockets and nodded. He’d given this a lot of thought during the day and had made a decision. “You were right last night. I’ve been seeing this from the wrong angle. Bonnie needs her father around. It’s time I made that happen.”
Jenna’s blue eyes glistened, then she blinked and smiled. “She’s a lucky little girl.”
The pureness of the emotion in her eyes resonated through him, seemed to take hold of his heart and squeeze, and he had to clear his throat before he could reply. “I appreciate that, but we both know that as a parent, I have a long way to go.”
“It takes practice,” she said, repeating his words from last night.
He smiled wryly. “True. That’s why I’ve rearranged things at work and handed some tasks and projects over to my staff.” His two senior research assistants had been surprised but keen for the extra responsibility, and he’d also talked to his PA about handing some tasks to her. “My plan is to be home by four o’clock every day.”
“That’s amazing, Liam. Bonnie will love having the extra time with you.” She looked at him with admiration shining in her eyes, and he had to wonder if he’d partly made the decision because it was Jenna who’d suggested it. He’d like to think he’d have realized the right thing to do on his own, but he couldn’t deny the effect she had on him.
He let out a long breath, wanting to respond only as a father, not a man who was having trouble focusing anywhere but on his nanny’s lips.
He shrugged as casually as he could manage. “I can’t promise how successful it will be, that I’ll be home by four every day, but I’ll definitely aim for that.”
“We’ll be able to work much faster on your bonding with Bonnie.”
He’d been thinking about that and knew just what he wanted to do next. “I’d like to learn to feed her on my own. There’s no reason we both have to get up every night.”
“I’ve been thinking the same thing.” She put the lid on the paint tin and gathered up her brushes as she spoke. “I’m sure you’ll find that those late-night feedings, when it’s just the two of you, can be a special time.”
They probably would be. Plus, this plan had the advantage of not feeling tempted by seeing Jenna in that thin robe when he was only half awake and his defenses were low. “How soon can we start?”
“Tonight, if you’re ready,” she said, looking at him with those clear blue eyes, beguiling him with those cupid’s bow lips.
“That will be great.” He headed for the door before he did something stupid, like kissing her here in the freshly painted nursery. “Let me know when she’s ready for her next bottle.”
He walked down the hall to his room, loosening his tie as he went. Now he just had to survive one more night of the temptation that was his nanny and he was home free. Well—he hesitated with his hand on the doorknob to his room—that covered the nights, but he couldn’t be sure of coping with the temptation that was Jenna during the day. He threw the door open and once he was in, he leaned back and hit his head against the door behind him.
* * *
Liam spent the late afternoon hours sprawled in the living room playing with Meg and asking Jenna her opinion on topics he’d come across in the baby books he’d been reading, such as routines and when to introduce solids into Bonnie’s diet. Her opinions were well considered and interesting, and he found himself simultaneously agreeing with her and thinking he should take notes. He thanked the fates he’d stumbled across someone like Jenna to care for his daughter. Their situation was ideal. Well, it would be as long as he could keep his rogue attraction to her at bay.
Dusk was settling over the landscape when Bonnie’s little cries came over the baby monitor.
“That’s my cue,” Jenna said, unfolding herself from the sofa and heading for the stairs.
He scooped Meg up and followed. “Come on, Meg. Group trip to the nursery.” The baby gurgled and babbled her agreement.
Liam walked down the hall after Jenna, trying not to watch the sway of her hips but failing. There was something very particular about the way she walked—it was almost gliding. Had she had deportment lessons as a child, perhaps?
In Meg’s room—which was still temporarily Bonnie’s—Jenna reached into the crib, but Liam put out a hand to stop her. “I’ll do it all this time. You just talk me through it. It’s the only way I’ll become self-sufficient.”
Jenna took Meg from him and nodded. “Okay.”
Slipping his hands under the baby to support her in all the right places, he lifted her to his chest. Her little face was red and her arms flailed. “Shh,” he said. “You might need a bit of patience for this, but I promise you’ll get fed in the end.”
Jenna sank down into the armchair with Meg, who was playing with her own toes. “First, she’ll want a clean diaper,” Jenna said.