"You're very direct."
"As are you. Julie, I'm sure, would agree with me."
"I've handled this fiasco of a wedding like a bull in a china shop."
"More like a herd of elephants in a glass factory," she said. "Did you give her an engagement ring?"
"No! It isn't that kind of wedding."
"What kind is it? You're engaged to be married, aren't you?"
"You're making me feel like a four-year-old caught with his hand in the cookie jar."
"You're in love with her, you know that."
"I lust after her and I like her," Travis said vigorously. "I don't call that love."
"In your way, you're as afraid of love as Julie is, that's why you've hounded her into this wedding. But riding roughshod over her isn't the way to win her." Leonora hesitated. "I'm always nervous about handing out advice. But as a young woman I turned my back on the love of my children to pursue my career as a dancer. That decision came at an extraordinarily high cost, Travis. In the long run, love is all we have."
"Do you regret being a dancer?"
"No. But if I'd been wiser, I might have been able to have dancing and my children."
"Charles might never have allowed that."
"Maybe," She gave a restless shrug. "Enough of the past. If I knew where Julie was, I'd tell you."
"You would, wouldn't you?" Impulsively he added, "Do you have any videos or film clips of your dancing?" As she nodded, he went on, "I'd like to borrow them. Soon."
"I'd be delighted to lend them to you."
He said slowly, "You'll never beg for my attention, will you?"
"Proud. Stiff-necked. I've been called both," she admitted. "No doubt you've inherited some of my less admirable characteristics as well as my best."
"Just ask Julie," he responded with a wry grin. Then he sobered. "I'm going to be in Portland for at least three more weeks. Will you stay here that long?"
"I'll stay as long as you want me to," Leonora said.
"I'm glad," Travis replied, and watched tears tremble on her lashes. Rare tears, he'd be willing to bet, and without even thinking about it crossed the carpet and hugged her.
She felt slight in his arms. Very briefly she rested her forehead on his shoulder. Then she moved back. "I never stopped loving you, Travis. You're always welcome to come and see me. You and Julie."
"I don't even know where to look for her!"
"She won't vanish off the face of the earth. She'll come back, you'll see."
It was these words Travis was holding in his mind as he drove back to the condo, where he had one more phone call to make. Julie would come back, Leonora was right. Julie was that kind of woman. But she might well come back intent on being a single mother for the rest of her days.
On Saturday afternoon, Travis was standing on the wharf where he'd first seen Julie. As he'd turned the last corner in the road and seen the tall wood pylons, he realized he'd been cherishing the hope that by some miracle he'd find her here again.
The wharf was empty. The launch was about thirty feet out, Oliver at the wheel, Charles standing on the deck. As Manatuck bumped against the dock, Travis looped the hawsers around one of the metal rungs. "Oliver," he said, "do you mind sitting in my car for a few minutes? This won't take long."
"No sweat," said Oliver, winked at him, and ambled up the hill.
Travis jumped aboard. Charles said curtly, "This had better be important, Travis. We have guests at Castlereigh."
Automatically bracing himself on the slight swell, Travis said, "I've seen Leonora. Twice."
A gull screamed into the wind. Waves slapped at the wharf. Very much on his dignity, Charles said, "She signed a legal document swearing she'd never come back."
"You told me she'd died. Then you exiled me from Manatuck."
"It was for your own good. She abandoned you. And the twins. Heartlessly."
"She acted without thought. She was young and probably foolish. But I don't think she was ever heartless. It was you who was heartless, Dad, lying to your own son about his mother's death."
"I acted for the best."
In a flash of insight, Travis said, "Leonora abandoned you. That was the issue, wasn't it?"
"Nonsense!"
"That's why you pretended there'd been a funeral in Philadelphia. To save face. Don't bother arguing, I know I'm right. I just never figured it out until now."
Charles's face was a study in conflicting emotions. Then he burst out, "I adored her from the first moment I saw her. She was everything I wasn't- creative, passionate and free. And so beautiful, black hair to her waist, her eyes like the shoals off Manatuck. I knew I had to have her. Possess her. She was mine, and only mine."
Unconsciously he was standing taller against the rail, his pale blue eyes very far away. Travis said shrewdly, "But she wouldn't allow you to own her. Because you're right, something about her will always be free."
And wasn't Julie the same? he realized with another of those jolts of insight. Pushing this thought aside, he waited for his father's reply. "Dancing, it was always her dancing," Charles rasped. "Once you were born, she was fanatic about getting back into shape, and insisted on taking lessons in Boston. I let her, I thought it was best. But I should have refused."
"If you had, she'd have run away sooner."
"We had terrible arguments, and somewhere in the middle of all that, she fell out of love with me." Charles's laugh was bitter. "But I still loved her. I couldn't help myself. We'd stopped sleeping together months before the twins were conceived … that happened one moonlit night on the island, when I came across her dancing on the grass, her bare feet wet with dew."
Remembering, his father's face was lit with wonder;
Travis stayed silent, feeling an unexpected tug of sympathy. The words dragged from him, Charles said, "I thought that having the twins would keep her home. But it did the opposite, made her desperate to escape. So she flew to Paris one night when I was away on business, and I found her letter when I got back."
As the sun disappeared behind a cloud, Charles went on, "I was out of my mind. Literally. Yes, my pride was in ruins. All my friends would laugh at me, my business associates, my enemies. But worse than that, I still adored her. I couldn't let her go because I'd never really possessed her. So I buried her. Pretended she'd died. Threatened her with financial and artistic ruin if she ever reappeared. Then I divorced her secretly, and two years later met Corinne. Who's Leonora's opposite in every respect."
"Do you still love Leonora?" Travis asked gently.
Charles finally met his son's gaze. "I don't know. I suppose not, it's all a very long time ago." With difficulty, he added, "I shouldn't have done what I did, Travis. I knew it was wrong even while I was doing it. But I couldn't stop-I was the one possessed. And you paid the price … if it's any help, I've felt guilty for years."
Travis hadn't quite finished. "You always pushed me away. Me and Jenessa."
"Isn't it obvious why? Look at yourself in the mirror! You're the male counterpart of your mother, hair color, blue eyes, cheekbones … every time I looked at you, I saw her. As for Jenessa, she's an artist, creative and driven, just as her mother was. So I did my best to crush that in her."
It made perfect sense. Travis ran his fingers through his wind-disordered hair. "I didn't steal the ring."
"Brent confessed to that just last week, when I told him under no circumstances was I cutting you out of my will. He'd buried it under the apple tree by the gazebo. It's at the goldsmith's being cleaned. I should have known you wouldn't have done that, Travis, I'm sorry."
"Apology accepted," Travis said, feeling something longheld loosen in his chest. "I'm glad Brent came clean."
"I spoiled him for years. I shouldn't have."
A chastened Charles was something new, and again Travis felt a flash of fellow feeling. He said flatly, "I was to have married Julie on Sunday. She's pregnant with my child. But she's run away and I don't know where she's gone."
He had his father's full attention. Charles said wryly, "History repeating itself. Don't make the same mistakes I did, Travis. Swallow your pride, tell her you love her and let her be who she is."
Charles, unlike Leonora, wasn't chary of handing out advice. With a faint smile Travis said, "If I find her, I will."