The Millionaire's Marriage Demand(27)

He leaned forward, feeling his shirt pull tight against his shoulder  blades. "I've never married or had children-that way I can't abandon my  wife or my child. That's one mistake I won't make."

"I had no idea Charles would react so cruelly! I was young, on my own in  Paris, threatened with ruin if I as much as wrote you a letter. Charles  wielded a lot of influence-even from Boston he could have made my life  untenable."

"Just the same. I'm sure you understand my difficulty," Travis said.  "You couldn't be faulted for dying. Very few of us want to do that. But  for abandoning me to my father's less than tender mercies-yes, I fault  you for that. If you were young, I was much younger. Just a boy. And  very much alone."

Tears were glittering in Leonora's blue eyes. Julie saw them and forced  herself to keep quiet. This scene was between mother and son; now that  she'd brought the players together, she had no lines to speak. She only  wished she could rid herself of that recurrent image of a motherless,  dark-haired boy exiled from his beloved island, set down among strangers  in a distant school. No wonder he'd never trusted enough to marry or  have children.                       
       
           



       

"When I left for Paris, I had every intention of returning to Boston  five or six times a year," Leonora said. "What happened to you was  terrible, far beyond anything I could have contemplated. But now I'm  asking you as an adult to try to forgive me for my part in that. What  your father did is between you and him."

"Unfortunately Charles was no more a paternal figure than you were  maternal. Jenessa never goes near him. Nor, since I was sixteen, have I.  Brent is the heir apparent."

"I plan to get in touch with both of them," Leonora said flatly. "But it was essential that I approach you first."

"If you're expecting gratitude, you're out of luck."

"Just give me a chance, Travis, that's all I ask."

Travis tossed back his drink. "If you want to tell me about your career, I'll listen."

As a concession, it was a small one, Julie thought, trying to see it as  better than nothing. The conversation limped along. Julie sipped her  white wine and when Travis stood up twenty minutes later, was heartily  glad to get to her feet.

Goodbyes were said. Briefly, a further meeting was discussed, without  any decision being reached as to time or place. Travis made no move to  touch his mother, nor did Leonora reach out for him. Then Julie and  Travis were retracing their steps to his vehicle. Her jaws aching with  tension, Julie sat in silence as he drove back to Old Port. He pulled up  outside her apartment. "Thank you for coming with me," he said.

He sounded cold and distant rather than grateful. She said evenly, "I  can't very well start a fight with you when we're parked on the sidewalk  outside my apartment. Too bad."

"You want a fight, Julie?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."

"I'd be delighted to oblige."

"Then let's go in."

She wasn't inviting him in for any reason other than to blow off steam,  thought Julie. Sex was the last thing on her mind. They climbed the  steps in a taut silence. As soon as she'd closed the door of her  apartment, she went on the offensive. "You've had since Wednesday to  absorb the facts, Travis-your mother's alive and well and living in  Portland. What are you going to do about her?"

"My mother died a long time ago."

"You've been given what a lot of people would give a fortune for-a second chance."

"Then I'm not most people."

"You can't just ignore her!"

"Try me."

"That's horribly cruel."

"I grieved her loss for years and now all of sudden she reappears and  asks for my forgiveness," he said with brutal clarity. "Yet you think I  should instantly forget the past and start acting like a son again? Give  me a break. Life doesn't work like that."

"There's something else-why did you never mention to me that you had a  sister? That Brent had a twin? Are there any other little surprises  you've been keeping from me? Stray wives I'm likely to meet on the  street? Children scattered around the globe?"

"No-I don't operate that way! Jenessa never comes within ten miles of  Dad, and there was enough going on that weekend on Manatuck that I just  plain didn't get around to mentioning her."

Rather grudgingly, Julie found she could accept this. But she wasn't  finished. "You know how I see it? You're so lucky to have a mother like  Leonora. She's artistic and talented and passionate. She takes risks.  She's out of the ordinary."

"That's the problem-don't you see?" he retorted. "A six-year-old wants  an ordinary mother. One who's there at bedtime and in the morning when  he gets up. One he can take his problems to as well as his  accomplishments. Sure, Leonora's had an amazing career. But from my  perspective, the cost was too high."

Her eyes blazing, Julie demanded, "Would you have preferred a mother  like mine, who was always there and never stopped trying to control me?  Who was so scared of her emotions she buried them all, and denied me my  own along with it? My mother's no more maternal than Leonora-Leonora's  just more honest about it. And I'm like you, I've never married, either.  Too scared to. Too afraid that I might turn out like my mother."                       
       
           



       

To her horror Julie suddenly collapsed on the chesterfield, buried her  face in her hands and started to cry. Travis sat down beside her,  clumsily putting his arms around her. She struck him away. "Go home!  Leave me alone. Neither one of us has got the guts of a-a flea."

"Let's prove you wrong," Travis said urgently. "Let's take a risk. Both of us."

"We're not going n-near my bedroom."

"I'm not suggesting we do. I've got to get out of town, Julie. Breathe  some clean salt air, try to get my sense of proportion back. My friend  Bryce offered me his cottage for the weekend. Come with me, you can have  your own room if that's what it takes. I just want to be with you by  the ocean. That's all."

"That's a lot," said Julie.

"If I spend one more day cooped up in that bloody condo, I'll go out of my mind."

"I understand the feeling," she said with a small smile.

"I dare you to come with me."

If she didn't want to end up like her mother, she didn't want to be  alone like Leonora, either. Wasn't sitting in her apartment all weekend  on a par with Pearl's behavior? Besides, she was still feeling deathly  tired, a symptom she was doing her best to ignore. A weekend by the sea  was just what she needed; it would also take her mind off the fact that  her period was now two days later than it had been on Wednesday.

She wasn't pregnant. She couldn't be. She didn't even want to consider  the possibility with Travis sitting so treacherously close to her. "I  never could refuse a dare," she said.

"Go pack," Travis ordered.

His smile made him look ten years younger, Julie thought humbly. She got  up, washed her face in the bathroom, threw some clothes in a case and  came back into the living room. "We'd better go. Before I change my  mind."

Twenty minutes later, after Travis had also packed a bag for the  weekend, they were on the road, driving north. Julie sat back, closing  her eyes, and fell asleep with the suddenness of a child.

Travis drove on, stealing sideways looks at his companion. She'd lost  weight, he thought. And the shadows under her eyes were new. He was  almost sure he was the reason.

He had a weekend to persuade her that separate rooms was a very bad  idea; and that after the weekend, he wanted to keep on seeing her. If he  suggested they share a room, would that be another dare she couldn't  refuse? The way her dark lashes lay on her cheeks and the soft curve of  her mouth in sleep filled him with an emotion he could only call  tenderness.

A brand-new emotion.

He couldn't be in love. He'd never fallen in love, not once. After his  broken engagement, he'd had women through the years, of course he had.  But he'd always been careful to caution them that romance, commitment  and marriage weren't part of his vocabulary.

There'd been those who'd tried to change his mind. But they hadn't succeeded.

So what was different about Julie?

She hadn't liked the way he'd spoken to Leonora. To his mother, Travis  corrected himself inwardly. The two words felt strange, almost as though  they had no connection to him. Why was he so angry with his mother,  when his father had behaved even more reprehensively? Leonora hadn't  left home meaning never to return. It was Charles who'd ensured her  absence would be permanent. Logically, it was Charles he should be angry  with. However, logic didn't seem to have much to do with that  constrained meeting in Leonora's apartment. He'd felt like a chunk of  granite on the beach. And as cold as the waves of the sea.