The Men With the Golden Cuffs(103)
There was no way to mistake what that one simple word did to Jake’s cock. It strained against his leathers. She remembered just how good that cock felt deep inside her body. She’d never felt so connected as she had when she’d made love to Jake and then again with Adam. For those brief moments, she’d been truly intimate with another human being. She’d felt more alive than ever before.
Was she making a terrible mistake? Maybe. But she couldn’t just jump in again with her whole heart. Her body was another story.
“You’re not going to give me an inch, are you?” Jake asked, his face losing its harshness. A cloud of sadness descended over him. “Adam is right. You’re never going to forgive us.”
“I forgive you.” They were easy words to say. She didn’t really have to mean them.
“I told you,” Adam said, his voice deep.
Jake turned to Adam, and they had one of those silent moments she always envied. They seemed to be able to speak to each other without saying a word, as though some event long ago had connected them in ways few others could understand.
Jake finally looked back down at her. “This is all you’ll give us?”
“It’s all I have to give.” She was still aching on the inside. She’d handed them her heart and gotten back a mottled mess. She just couldn’t get past that moment when they’d rejected her. It would happen again. Potentially over and over again. Doyle had asked for a divorce three times before he’d finally gone through with it. Each time she’d allowed him to talk his way out of it. He was sorry. He’d said it in the heat of the moment. He hadn’t really meant it.
But he had. Even if they hadn’t meant it this time, they would in the future. She couldn’t risk it. Not again.
“I’ll take it.” Jake took her elbow and helped her up. “All you want out of this is a D/s relationship. Do I understand you correctly?”
Serena latched onto that thought. A D/s relationship wasn’t a love affair. It didn’t have to involve anything except an exchange of power. Some D/s relationships didn’t even involve sex. She sure as hell didn’t want that, but a D/s relationship didn’t necessarily have to end when the case was over.
Jake was a Dom. Adam was invested in the lifestyle. What if she could become their sub? They could come together for play. She could keep them in some small way.
“Yes, Sir. It’s what I always wanted. I went looking for a Dom, if you remember.” Serena kept her voice carefully controlled. “My life has been out of control for some time. I think I need this. I know I would like to try it.”
“And if I say no? If I won’t top you?” Jake practically growled the question.
If he wouldn’t, she would probably just shut down that part of herself or keep it where she should have all along—deep in her books. Words couldn’t hurt her. She simply shrugged. “Then there’s no point in me being here, Sir. You should take me home.”
Adam laughed, a bitter little sound. “Well, I can see I’m not needed here. I thought she was interested in ménage, but she seems to only want a Dom.”
Why did he have to be so fucking sensitive? Most guys would follow her around and wait for a chance to shove his dick in, but no, Adam had to make a scene. Of course, most guys wouldn’t wake up every morning, make her coffee and make sure her schedule was perfectly detailed and ready. He’d actually laid out the right clothes for her activities the last few days. She didn’t have to think about the little things with Adam around. But she did have to deal with his ego.
“I would prefer two Doms.”
“I’m not a Dom, Serena.”
“Really? Because you seem to have control of my day. You control my schedule, my clothes, what I eat and when I eat it.” He’d taken over just about everything, and her life was so much better for it. He’d even started feeding her dog. “I would prefer if you stayed, Sir. I am interested in ménage. From an intellectual viewpoint.”
Adam’s boots came into view. And then she hissed a little as he tugged on her hair, forcing her to face up to him. “Intellectual? You’re full of shit, sweetheart, and if I thought for a second that you weren’t lying to yourself and to both of us, I would walk away. But I happen to have a ton of frustration, and it would help me enormously to take it out on your sweet ass. I might not have Dom rights in this club, but don’t you fucking think for a second that I can’t top you. Now get on your feet.”
Serena rose, Adam’s hand on her arm, supporting her. That was what he’d become, her support, while Jacob was the bulwark against all the bad things that could come her way.