The Mech Who Loved Me(70)

       
         
       
        

Jaysus. Kincaid's heart kicked in his chest. He'd wanted a sign she'd chosen him, and then she'd kicked his feet out from under him.

Ava turned and paced, pressing her fingers to her temples. "I sorry. I shouldn't have said that-"

"It was exactly what I needed to hear." He stepped forward and caught her wrist, drawing her into his arms, kissing her, clutching her so tightly her spine arched and he felt her weight fall into his arms as he lifted her off her feet-

Ava gasped. Then both hands met his chest. And she was rather stronger than he'd expected, for he slammed back against the nearest brick wall, his arms flung wide and the breath leaving him. Heat curled through his lower abdomen. Hell. Those emerald eyes of hers were gleaming with determination, and he found himself facing down a tempest in muslin. A hand met his chest, and when she took a forceful step forward, he found himself looking down at her. Acres of skirts hemmed him in, and Kincaid stopped breathing.

Practical, stubborn, and quiet-natured, every now and then he caught a glimmer of the passion within her-most often when they argued-and it made him want to keep pushing her, to see just how far that passion extended.

But Ava in a temper?

That was temptation indeed.

"Kiss me," he told her.

And she didn't hesitate. Grabbing him by the coat collar, she stretched up on her toes and claimed his mouth, her tongue dancing against his. Kincaid's arms wrapped around her, and he lifted her off her feet again, drinking in the taste of her. A desperate, furious storm of passion engulfed them both.

To know he was the first one to show her this made him a little feral with need. But they hadn't finished the conversation. And he'd kissed her deliberately, to steer her away from demanding his feelings, but that wasn't fair.

Kincaid forced himself to draw a line in the sand. One to keep them on firm ground, before he lost his head and did something he'd regret.

Like press her up against the bricks in this alley and go to his knees in front of her, sliding his hands up her silken stockings, and wrapping them around the backs of her calves-

He drew back with a groan. Ava's eyes were so very wide, her body trembling against him. She licked her lips, almost as if tasting the warmth of his mouth, but he pressed his finger against those lips, forestalling her from reaching for him again.

Because maybe he wouldn't have the strength of will to do this again.

"If I'm being honest, then neither of us is where we were when we set out to do this," he said hoarsely. "I like you, Ava. A lot. And you're not the only one who keeps telling yourself this has a beginning and an ending. And yet here we are." He looked down into eyes so very green he felt like he was falling into them. 

"Here we are," Ava whispered, and her gaze dropped to his mouth.

"I can't stay away from you. And I don't know if I want to. But there are things you need to know. I do know there is an ending in front of us. There has to be, but it's not for the reason you think."

Ava slowly looked up, and he caressed her face.

"Ava, I can't give you a future. Not won't. But can't." His breath caught. "If I could... then maybe... maybe I would. Maybe I'd be that man."

Ava wrapped her arms around herself as she drew back, shaking her head slowly, as if she'd finally realized what he was telling her. "What do you mean?"

"What's the one thing I don't like talking about?"

The color was slowly beginning to drain from her face. "Why do you wear leg braces? Why the girdle around your waist? What's going on?"

And she deserved to know.

"It's a muscular disorder," he told her softly, steeling himself. "My brother had it, my uncle... and now me." He caught his breath, seeing Will's grave. "I thought I was safe. My brother began to show the signs when he was thirteen. Ian began at one-and-twenty, and I was almost six-and-twenty the first time my legs went out from beneath me. You keep thinking: did I just trip? Was I clumsy? Or is it something more sinister? But I can't deny it any longer. I'm the last victim of the Kincaid curse."

Ava's face was so very, very pale. "You said your brother died."

"He did." Kincaid forced himself to look her in the eye. "The same way my uncle will. His heart gave out. Like I said, it's a degenerative muscular disorder, and the heart is a muscle."

Ava dragged her hands over her mouth. "No."

"Yes." His voice sounded cool and rational, but his heart was beating like a racehorse's in his chest. "I don't know how many years I have ahead of me. Ian's lasted years beyond Will. And it's early. My legs are weakening, I can feel it, but the braces keep me upright for now. One day I'll be in a wheeled chair. One day I'll be unable to get out of bed. And one day...."