The Mech Who Loved Me(36)

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Kincaid breathed.

She crossed her arms over her nightgown. It was strange how safe she felt with him in her room, at night, when she wore little more than thin cotton. Kincaid gave the devil a run for his money when it came to mischief, but he obeyed a peculiar set of rules he'd set himself.

Maybe I could use him to test out some of my theories? a little voice whispered. Maybe we could both give each other pleasure? He wanted her, after all, and she was very curious about what, exactly, he would do to her.

Suddenly she felt like she had an answer to his proposition.

Nobody would get hurt. She knew what she was entering into. An experiment. A purely physical one. Exactly what Perry had recommended she do.

She couldn't deny she was attracted to Kincaid in a physical way, but she also quite liked him. The craving virus roused the primal side of one's nature, but she couldn't entirely blame this... this lust upon it. She wanted those strong hands on her bare skin. She wanted to touch Kincaid, to lick him, to taste those devilish lips, in a way she'd never felt before.

None of this made any sense at all, except for the demanding pulse of the ache between her thighs.

"What if I do intend to finish it?" She was tired of living within the rules-tired of being polite, and letting her own desires go unanswered. Perry's suggestion had only exacerbated the sense of frustration.

And the more she thought about it, the more Kincaid seemed to be the perfect answer to her problems.

Even if her words wiped the smile off his face.

"Are you sure you know what you're asking for?" he asked, pushing away from the bed and pacing across the room, the bulky form of the mechanical brace that girdled his hips and thighs bulging beneath his trousers. She wished she knew why he wore it.

Ava sat up on her knees, leaving her a little chilled as her blankets fell away. "Yes, I do. I trust you. And this attraction doesn't seem to be going away, so why not?"

"I know women. You're not the sort to enjoy an affair if your heart is not involved. And I'm not offerin' a future, Ava. I need you to understand that."

"Pfft." She waved the thought away, determined now she'd made up her mind. "You might have a good deal of experience with women, but you forget something. I am not like most women. I'm a scientist, Mr. Kincaid. You said yourself, this makes sense in a logical, rational way. And you present a very intriguing dilemma for me. I have never felt so curious about... about a man's body before. When you are in the same room with me, I am-" She searched for the means to say it. "-overcome with purely physical desires. I cannot stop thinking about it, and it's quite vexing. Usually when I am interested in a man, it is because I find him charming, or he is nice to me, or I admire his manners, or-" 

"Or in the case of Byrnes, you found him comfortable to be around." Kincaid crossed his arms over his chest as he faced her.

"Ye-es," she said carefully. "He was easy to be around because he accepted me as I was, without seeking to change me or disapproving of the way I think. You don't know how rare that is." Again, she thought of Paul, the man who hadn't entirely approved of her. She didn't blame him for moving on when he thought she was dead, after Hague kidnapped her, but at the time the loss had hurt her.

It didn't anymore.

Kincaid's eyes narrowed. "Did you ever want to kiss Byrnes?"

"Well," she sputtered. "Of course I did. He was very kind to me, and I cared for him, and-"

"Kind?" The way he drawled the word made her feel like he knew something she did not.

"Byrnes has no concept of charm, but he can be kind. I know you probably can't imagine it, but-"

"I thought there was something between the pair of you, but if there was, then you wouldn't be thinking of him as kind. That's the very last word anyone would ever use to describe that smug bastard."

"Whatever does that mean?" she asked suspiciously.

Kincaid rubbed his mouth. "Ava, do you have any idea what it is like to bed a man?"

"Of course I do. I've seen-"

"Outside of what you've seen in books."

They stared at each other, and she felt like they were having two different conversations. "No," she admitted. "Only what I've read, or what I've seen in diagrams."

"I see."

"I'm not completely sheltered. There were farm animals at my father's country manor. And I saw the shadow show at the Garden of Eden." He looked unconvinced. "I studied anatomy, for heaven's sake. I know how things fit."

Kincaid growled under his breath, scraping his hands over his face as he muttered, "Why me?"

"I can hear you. Enhanced hearing, if you'll recall? And if you want an answer to that, then here it is. I don't love you. You don't love me. There's no risk here for me. But I like you-enough to trust you with my body-and I... I think you like me. Or you would, if I weren't a blue blood, but-"