"What's it to you?"
Ry didn't even bother to answer that and stared her down. Eventually she gave an elaborate sigh. "He should be back soon. Randy and Araz took him down the stairs when the cops turned up."
"Protecting their assets, right?"
She crossed her arms over her chest making her fake boobs jut out. "They've done more for him than you ever did-bringing him down, making him feel bad about himself-having to hold himself back for years because he felt sorry for you not being as good a rider as he was."
"Yeah?" Ry wanted to turn around and walk away from all the shit that was coming out of her mouth, but he refused to leave first. He hoisted his backpack onto his shoulder. "I'm going to bed."
"You can't-"
He spun around so fast she took a step back. "HW and I rent this place. Until I hear differently, I'm going to bed."
He unlocked the padlock he'd installed on his bedroom door and went inside. Nothing looked as if it had been touched, which made a change. His twin tended to think that what was Ry's was his, but not vice versa. Not that Ry wanted anything his brother had.
With a groan he placed his hat on the desk and shoved a hand through his short blond hair. His stomach growled, but he wasn't going out there again to face Lally. If HW came back, he could knock on the door and be polite. Maybe Ry would talk to him.
Maybe.
He stripped off his shirt and jeans and took a quick shower in the tiny bathroom attached to his bedroom. There was no more partying, but whether HW would come back Ry no longer knew. Sometimes his twin would stay away for days and return so shitfaced he'd sleep for a week and be as grumpy as hell if Ry tried to talk to him about anything.
He wasn't sure he cared anymore. Hunkering down on the rug beside his bed, he delved into his backpack where his grandma Ruth had deposited enough food to feed an army. Just the thought of her lightened Ry's dark mood and gave him strength. He pictured his family at the ranch-his older brothers, Chase and Blue, and his father, Billy. They liked him for who he was. They loved him.
A knock on the door made him go still.
"Ry? You in there?"
He took out the bundle of food and placed it on the desk before slowly turning to the door and opening it. His twin stood there grinning like a loon and swaying slightly in his fancy cowboy boots. They were identical, so it was like looking at a drunk version of himself.
"Dude! You're back!"
Ry stepped aside and let HW in.
"Something smells good. Did you bring stuff back from the ranch?" HW wandered over to the desk and went to grab the container of food. Ry, who was stone cold sober, moved faster and blocked his twin's hand.
"What do you want, HW?"
His brother blinked big golden eyes at him. "That's harsh, Ry. What the hell is wrong with you?"
Ry leaned against the edge of the desk, folded his arms over his chest, and repeated, "What do you want?"
HW retreated to the bed and sank down on it, his expression disgruntled. "Some of Ruth's good cooking, but it looks like you've decided to hog it all for yourself."
"I'll gladly share the food with you after you've told me what's going on."
"You mean about the party?" HW hiccupped a laugh. "That was so sick, man. Those cops have no sense of humor."
"Those cops told me to tell you that if you host a party again, they'll be taking you in and charging you."
"Not unless they catch me first."
"I think they'll manage it, especially if you keep drinking."
HW sighed. "Gawd, when did you become such a boring Dudley Do-Right, bro? I'm just having some fun."
"Yeah." Ry studied his twin. HW's pupils were too large, his eyes were bloodshot, and his whole body was shaking. "You should go to bed. I'll talk to you in the morning, okay?"
"What's wrong with talking now?"
"Because you're too drunk or high or whatever the stimulant of the day is to talk much sense."
HW rose unsteadily to his feet. "Don't preach at me."
Ry set his jaw. "I'm tired. I've got a lot to do tomorrow."
His twin took three lurching steps forward that brought him right in Ry's face. "Screw you. Talk to me about wussing out on me."
Ry straightened, almost overbalancing his twin. "I am not talking to a belligerent drunk! Get out of my space, or I'll be the one calling the cops."
For one frozen second, Ry couldn't believe what he'd said, and then he realized he meant every word.
"Get out, HW. I'll speak to you in the morning."
His twin mumbled something obscene and stumbled away, slamming the bedroom door behind him. In the stillness Ry waited until he heard his brother's girlfriend start in on him, and then there was comparative silence. He slowly let out his breath.
No regrets. He'd promised himself that he'd make a clean break, so tomorrow he'd tell HW what was happening and leave. His hand clenched into a fist, and he sat down heavily on the desk chair. Now all he had to do was follow through with his plan, and this time make sure he stuck the landing.
* * *
It was almost eleven in the morning, and Ry had made good inroads into packing up the stuff in his bedroom. He had to fit everything in his old pickup truck and was determined to make only one trip. He'd already decided not to take any of the furniture-most of it had come with the apartment anyway or had been chosen by HW.
He stuffed four pairs of socks in his open duffel bag. Chase had offered him his pick of the ranch land to build his own place on, which was kind of cool. Not that he needed all that space yet, but it was good to dream.
"Ry, what the hell are you doing?"
He turned to see HW propping up the doorway wearing nothing but a pair of boxers that barely hung on to his narrow hips. He was also shading his eyes against the glare of the sun.
"I'm packing my stuff."
"What the heck for?"
Ry looked his twin right in the eye. "Because I'm leaving."
HW frowned. "We always fight, bro. You know I don't mean anything. That's just the way we are."
"No, it's the way we've become. I don't like it, HW, and I'm not going to play that game anymore."
"So, what? You're walking out on me?"
"I barely see you these days. You're either training, going to extra events, or . . ." Ry paused. "Doing other stuff I don't enjoy."
"I've been working my ass off to qualify for the national finals, you know that."
"Yeah. I really hope you'll get there."
"But you're sulking because I haven't been spending enough time with you? Hell, Ry, that's half your problem. If you don't train hard and compete often, you won't qualify."
"I get that."
"So don't blame me if you haven't been dedicated enough to achieve what I have."
"I don't." Ry added another drawer full of underwear to the bag. "I'm just not cut out for this life."
HW sat on the bed, his bloodshot gaze fixed on the filled and labeled boxes. "We're identical twins. If I can do it, you can."
"But maybe I don't want to."
"So you're going to disappear and leave me here by myself?"
Ry faked a smile. "You're hardly by yourself. You've got Lally all moved in, a potential agent, and a promotional exec hanging around to protect your ass."
"But they're not you."
Ry zipped up the bag and sat on the chair by the desk, swiveling to face his brother. "You'll be fine."
"Where are you going?"
"Back to the ranch."
"For good?" HW frowned. "You're seriously not coming back?"
"Nope."
He scratched his unshaven jaw. "We said we'd never do that."
"Things change. Chase is not as bad as BB painted him-hell, even BB agrees he was wrong, and that's saying something."
"But we've always been together."
Ry took a deep breath. "Yeah, I know."
"You and me against the world."
"As I said, things change. You're going forward into a successful career riding saddle broncs, and I'm . . ."
"Yeah, what exactly are you going to do stuck in the middle of nowhere?"
"Help Chase and Blue rebuild the ranch and make it into something special. I might not be a great rodeo guy, but I'm a damned good hand."
"Help them? What about me?"
"I don't think you need me at the moment, bro," Ry said as gently as he could. "You're doing great."
HW shot to his feet and took a short turn around the room. "This is because I've done better than you-isn't it? Lally said you were jealous, but I didn't believe her. But now? Maybe she was right all along."
Ry stood as well. It felt like his heart was actually trying to punch its way out of his chest. "Maybe I just want different things in my life right now."
"Because you're not good enough to have what I have?" There was a combative note in HW's voice Ry had learned to dread.
"I'm not as good a rider as you are. I never will be."
"True, but only because you won't take it seriously."
"Which is the whole point, HW. Can't you at least see that? I don't care about winning as much as you do. I just don't."
"Because you know you can't beat me." HW came closer. "Admit it."