"The best."
"They could probably keep Daniel away from Maria until she's an adult."
"Possibly."
"But eventually, she'd still want to see him because she's like you-a determined kid who never forgets anything. So how about you find a way to make this work? Let her see him, let her make her own judgment about who and what he means to her. Trust her."
"It's hard."
"Because me and your mother broke that trust. I get it. I damn well caused it. But you're gonna have to find a way to make Maria happy, and I know in my heart you're going to do it. You're a good man, BB, a fine man, and you did it all by yourself." Blue reached out to find his father's hand waiting for him. "Just keep on loving her, BB. In the long run that's all that you can do."
Chapter Twenty-One
Jenna consulted the list January had handed her. Pink and blue balloons dancing on strings in the breeze, check; ponies everywhere, both real and fake, check; a rainbow pony birthday cake and a huge banner wishing Maria a happy eleventh birthday, check. Jenna surveyed the party site and smiled despite her nervousness.
Maria was dancing around between Billy, Ruth, and Blue, hindering the preparations rather than helping, but no one minded. She had rainbow ribbons in her dark hair and a pony dress with net skirts and sparkles, which she had assured Jenna, who'd bought it for her, was the best thing ever. Maria seemed to accept her as Blue's girlfriend and sometimes even asked her about stuff. When Jenna consulted with Blue about whether this was okay, he'd told her to be honest-that no one else could empathize quite so well with Maria and that he was grateful for everything she did.
Jenna smiled at the excited little girl. Whatever happened in the future, she would always make a point of being available. She hoped she'd be far more involved than that . . . The first guests were arriving, and Jenna sensed Ruth was about to call everyone to order.
As usual, most of the town had been invited because Ruth was determined that Maria would be accepted by the community the Morgan family hoped she would choose to belong to. Jenna had kept away from the ranch during the last week or so, aware that Blue needed time with his daughter and to sort out some legal issues with his lawyers. She hadn't asked him what he'd decided to do, but she had faith he would make the right decisions.
She looked over at him and noticed his smile disappeared whenever Maria turned away from him. He looked stressed, which made her want to go over and hold him tight. Hopefully if things turned out how she'd planned, he'd never doubt her feelings for him ever again.
He caught her gaze and tipped his hat to her, but he didn't come over. She was okay about that because she had a tendency to babble when she was trying to hide something, and he'd pick up on that way too quick. She smiled brightly back and busied herself sticking the paper tablecloth to the corner of the table.
There was a little stage at the front where the cake had been set out and a fancy table for Maria and some of the kids she'd been starting to get to know over the summer. If she stayed she'd be seeing more of them at the local middle school in Morgantown, which went up to eighth grade, giving her three more years before being bussed to high school.
If she stayed.
A flash of movement down in the parking lot had Jenna looking around as a procession of trucks parked. There was no sign of her parents yet. Her mom had texted to say they were on their way. Her parents would be easy to spot-the lone rental car amongst a sea of trucks and SUVs.
Soon Maria was standing with Ruth, Billy, and Blue and greeting guests and their families with her usual smile and enthusiasm. She'd certainly grown in confidence in the past few weeks. She reminded Jenna of herself at that age-cautiously coming to terms with her new family and starting to understand that they meant to let her stay forever.
A lone figure came up the path, and Jenna didn't recognize him. She glanced across at Blue and saw him stiffen before he bent down to draw Maria's attention to the approaching man.
"Daddy!" Maria shrieked and ran down the slope. She was caught in a fierce embrace and swung around. Jenna looked back at Blue and instinctively went over to him. By the time she got there, Maria had the man by the hand and was dragging him up to the reception committee at the top of the field.
"Welcome to Morgan Ranch, Daniel," Blue said quietly and held out his hand. "I'm glad you could make it."
Maria's smile was blinding as she grabbed Blue's hand as well.
"This is so cool! Now, Daddy, come and meet my grampa Billy, and this is Ruth and . . ."
Blue half turned away and Jenna stepped close to him.
"That was a really nice thing to do."
He shrugged. "Possibly the most stupid thing I've ever done in my life. But at least he's on my land. If he starts getting antsy, I'll drop him down one of the abandoned shafts at the silver mine."
"Good thinking, Marine." She went up on tiptoe and kissed him even as he grimaced. "It's always best to be prepared. Did I tell you my parents were coming today?"
He held her gaze. "No, you didn't mention it. Any particular reason?"
It was her turn to shrug. "My mom's found me a new job in LA. She wants to talk to me about it."
"Jenna . . ."
She pointed over his shoulder. "I think that's them now. I'd better go and make sure they get settled down."
* * *
Blue had never expected to be sitting on one side of an eleven-year-old girl eating birthday cake, which was so full of sugar his teeth hurt, while on the other side sat the man who had raised his daughter for ten years. Maria seemed to think it was the best idea in the world-in fact, she'd insisted, saying she wanted both her dads sitting with her. The fact that she'd acknowledged him as her father while Daniel was sitting right there had made Blue feel a lot better. Now all he had to worry about was what happened at the end of the evening.
Would Maria want to leave with Daniel? Would he let her go? In the few weeks he'd known her, she'd made a space for herself in his heart that would never disappear. Maybe that was what Billy had been talking about. If she went back to Daniel, he wouldn't stop loving her, he'd just bide his time and hope that one day she'd want to have a relationship with him. Billy was proof that even the worst relationship could be mended if both parties were willing.
"Blue, have you got a minute?" Daniel leaned over behind Maria's chair and spoke softly in Blue's ear.
"Sure. Come over by the present table while they finish their cake and ice cream."
He didn't want to talk to Daniel, but he was pretending to be a civilized adult, and apparently in today's complex modern families that was what you had to do.
"Thanks for inviting me," Daniel said as he turned to survey the majesty of the Sierra Nevada range. "It's beautiful out here. What an amazing place to grow up and what great history."
Blue jammed one hand in his pocket and nodded.
"Maria seems to love it."
"Yeah. She's fit in really well."
Daniel sighed. "She sure looks happier."
Blue had nothing to say to that.
"I heard from your lawyers. I gather you'd like her to live here at the ranch full-time?" Daniel swallowed hard. "I don't think I'm in a good place to have her at home right now. I . . . lost my job and I'm having to move into a smaller place and . . . I'm going into counseling to address my issues with alcohol and all the rest of it."
Blue finally looked him in the eye. "That's a lot of stuff to deal with at once, and it's good of you to admit Maria needs a more stable home. I can give her that-if she wants it."
"Yeah, and a ready-made family. That's kind of awesome." Daniel awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "When Angel told me about you . . . I just kind of lost it. I'd been told it was unlikely that I'd ever have kids because I had mumps when I was a teen. I never told Angel that. I kind of married her under false pretenses. She was getting desperate to have a baby and was threatening to leave me. When she came back from visiting her sister and then was suddenly pregnant, I was just so damned ecstatic that I convinced myself it was a miracle."
His mouth twisted. "Stupid, eh? It wasn't until she was being tested when she got sick that the subject somehow came up again, and eventually . . . just before she died she told me what she'd done. Of course I didn't say anything to her-how could I? But I knew then that I'd been fooling myself and that you must be Maria's father."
Blue just nodded. What the hell could he say? He almost felt sorry for the guy.
"And then there was just me, Maria, and a bottle of vodka left in the house and I was just so angry and so furious at Angel for dying and leaving me and . . ." He groaned. "I lost it. I scared Maria, and at some point I realized that if I wasn't careful I'd say or do something inexcusable, so putting her on the bus to you? That felt like the safest thing to do for her."
Blue kicked a stone. He still wanted to punch the man, but he had to give him credit for trying to be honest. "My dad always says that grief does funny things to a person's head, and he should know. It took him a lot longer to get help with his drinking than you."
Daniel let out a long slow breath. "So, do you think I could still see her? Once I've gotten my shit sorted out, obviously."