The Maverick Cowboy(54)

"Could be Marigold," Jenna whispered. "Let's check out the barn."

Blue put a hand on her arm. "Listen. Do you hear that?"

She turned her face up to his and breathed. "Kittens."

Blue made his way past Roy's two horses, and toward the open door of the last stall in the row.

"Maria?"

A stifled sob made him speed up. In the corner of the stall, well away from Marigold's bulk, was Maria. She had the basket of kittens in her lap and looked as if she had been crying for quite a while.

Just as his knees gave way with relief, Blue sank onto his haunches in the straw.

"You okay, darlin'?"

Maria rubbed a hand across her nose and shook her head.

"Did something happen to the kittens?"

"Their mama's dead . . ." She gulped. "There was a coyote, and she was trying to stop it getting near the kittens and . . ."

"Oh, sweetheart." Blue sighed. "So you decided to save the kittens?" He wanted to point out that the damn coyote could've taken her out as well, but even he knew there was a time and a place for that discussion. "That was a brave thing to do."

"But then I had to figure out where to put them, and I couldn't go back to the house . . ."

"So you came here. That was a good decision." He hesitated. "Jenna's outside. Do you want her to take a look at these little guys while you and I talk? You know she'll take good care of them."

"Okay."

He handed the basket of kittens over to Jenna and she disappeared out the door, leaving him and Maria in the peace and quiet of the night. Blue sat on the floor and patted his knee.

"You want to come and tell me what's up? I promise I won't be mad."

She eyed him carefully and then with a sigh came to sit on his knee. "I'm sorry."

"Well, you did scare us all half to death wandering off in the middle of the night like that."

"I didn't know what to do."



       
         
       
        

"Because of that letter from your dad?"

She sat bolt upright on his knee, her knees together and her hands twisted in her lap. "You said you'd make sure I couldn't see him again."

"Yeah. I thought you didn't want to see him."

"So did I until I read the letter and he said sorry. Then I felt all confused. I thought maybe if I said I wanted to see him you'd get mad and kick me out, and then what if he didn't really like me again or got drunk and I had no place to go?"

Blue took a long moment before he answered. "Number one, I'd never kick you out. I promised you'd always have a home here if you wanted it. And number two, next time you have a problem like this, please talk to me. I will always listen."

"And you'll let me see him?"

He kissed the top of her head, avoiding her direct gaze and the question. "We can talk about that tomorrow, okay? It's late, we're all tired, and I don't want to make any promises I can't keep."

"Okay." She sagged against his chest. "I didn't want to go. I thought my heart was going to break in two. I know my dad did some bad things, but I still love him."

"Yeah. I totally get that. I felt the same way about Billy." He stood up with her in his arms. "I'm going to put you in my truck and call Ruth to let her know you're safe."

He placed her on the backseat and covered her up with an old blanket. "Sit tight. I'll go and check on the kittens and put Marigold to bed. Roy can bring her back in the morning."

* * *

A couple of hours later, Jenna sat with Blue in the ranch house kitchen cradling a mug of hot chocolate as the old house settled around them. Blue looked exhausted, and no wonder. Reliving another unexpected disappearance at the ranch must have been traumatic.

"Will you come to bed with me?" He reached across the table to take her hand.

"Sure." She smothered a yawn. "To sleep."

"Don't think I can manage much more than that," he murmured as they walked up the stairs. "But I'll keep you informed."

In a relatively short space of time they were cuddled up together in his bed. He lay on his back and she curled against his side.

"That was one of the worst nights of my life." Blue exhaled. "I thought being sent overseas was terrifying, but it's nothing compared to this."

"That's because she's family."

He sighed against her hair. "What am I going to do, Jenna? She wants to see her father. She's relying on me to sort that out for her, and all I want to do is tell that idiot never to come within a hundred miles of her. I know what it's like to live with a drunk-to not know whether you're going to have to deal with abuse, or maudlin tears, or them puking their guts up-it sucks." 

"But Billy managed to get it together."

"Eventually."

"Who says that Daniel won't manage it either?" She spread her fingers over his chest. "Even my parents got their shit together eventually and remarried."

"Yeah?" He paused. "I thought you said they didn't want anything to do with you."

"They didn't."

"Hang on." His fingers stole into her hair and went still. "They got it together, and they still didn't want you?"

Even though it was dark and she couldn't see his face clearly, she still closed her eyes. "They had two more kids and were living in a respectable neighborhood and they just weren't interested in having a constant reminder of their past." She sighed. "I invested so much time and effort in finding them that I almost alienated my adopted family and then . . . my parents didn't want me, Blue. They flat out didn't want me."

She buried her face against his chest, and his arms closed around her.

"It was the most humiliating experience of my life, you know? It's almost okay when your birth parents reject you because they are still troubled individuals, but when your parents work things out and you become the embarrassment? That sucks."

She let out her breath. "I've never told anyone about this before. Even my adoptive parents. I wanted to tell you because I know it's going to be hard, but I really think you should let Daniel be a part of Maria's life, warts and all."

"But what if he wants to claim custody of her?"

"He's in no fit state to look after her at the moment, any judge will see that, and you have rights as well and a stable home environment."

"What if she wants to go back to him?"

The uncertainty and pain behind his question made her want to hold him tight and not let anything near him again. Her big bad Marine was hurting, and that was unacceptable.

"Then you think of what's best for Maria, and work something out."

"You're right. I've still got to get my head around that." He sighed. "I've got to put her first."

Jenna swallowed hard, but the tears still came. "You will. You're a good man."

"Hey." He suddenly rolled her onto her back and rose over her. "Don't cry, honey."

"I'm not."

He kissed her slowly, taking each tear away, his gaze solemn.

"Thank you, Jenna."

"For what?" She tried to smile. "For crying about myself when you're the one with the problem? How selfish is that?"

"Don't say that." She blinked up at his suddenly ferocious expression. "Don't you dare put yourself down. Your birth parents were assholes." He kissed her hard. "I'm not going to be like them, I can promise you that."

"Good."

"And if you ever care to share their address, I'll go and tell them to their faces that they are assholes."

"Er. Thanks, but I think I'm over it."

He drew her into his arms and they lay quietly together until exhaustion overcame her and she fell asleep.

* * *

Blue smoothed Jenna's hair away from her face and contemplated her serene expression. How much had it cost her to share that parental rejection with him just to help him decide what to do about his own daughter? No wonder she didn't trust anyone. No one had ever put her needs first. Unable to sleep, Blue pulled on his jeans and headed barefoot down to the kitchen.



       
         
       
        

He almost screeched when a figure appeared in the darkness.

"BB."

"Dad?" He sat at the table opposite his father. "You okay?"

"I couldn't sleep. All the worry about Maria brought everything back to me."

"I know how you feel."

"It was the worst night of my life."

"Yeah." Blue put his elbows on the table and held his head in his hands.

"The first of many." Billy's dry laugh held little humor in it. "After that I just lost the plot completely."

"But you made it back here eventually." Blue hesitated. "Daniel Lester's a drunk."

"Like your father. I guess that scares you, huh?"

"It scares me for Maria's sake. I don't want her to have to grow up like that. I want to keep her here with me where it's safe, but what if she hates me for that and goes looking for him? What if she finds him, and he treats her badly?"

"Chase has good lawyers, right?"