The Mating Heat(19)

He leapt.
The big male wrestled her to the ground. As they shifted back into their Skin forms, Ryder flipped her over onto her back, straddled her and pinned her wrists.
Both of them were naked.
She sensed the hot blood thrumming through his body, the flood of male hormones preparing him to mate. His cock lengthened and thickened.
“I win,” he said softly.
“I let you.”
Firm muscles layered the hard body lying on top of her. Alight with fierce desire, his brilliant blue gaze burned into her.
Ryder gave a small, mysterious smile. It was wicked and victorious and yet she knew this male would not hurt her.
Oh, he’d tease and taunt her, racing with her in wolfskin through green meadows or spending countless hours in blissful lovemaking...
A tantalizing scent of spices and male wound around her and flicked between her legs like the slow stroke of a finger. Arousal spiked, making her nipples grow taut. The space between her legs grew wet. Kara watched his expression grow intent with sexual awareness.
He climbed off, his thick erection jutting up from his groin. “Later, sweeting. In the privacy of my bedroom, where you deserve to be loved. Not like this, in the open on the hard ground. I want our first time to be gentle and loving.”
Kara melted at his tender declaration.
As they clothed themselves through magick, she gazed around the field. Memories rushed back, happy ones mixed with bitter regret. “I remember this place. My father used to take us for picnics here. My mother would snap out a blanket and he’d raid the basket, always gnawing on a chicken leg and she’d slap his hand, playfully, telling him to wait.”
The sadness intensified as she recalled the spark in her mother’s eyes, how Alastair had kissed her deeply, with love.
“Lara would take Aiden and me to play by the river for a long while. Only later did I realize my parents were making love. I didn’t understand it then, but some part of me knew they were bonding, sharing special moments.” Her voice cracked. “He loved her so much. How can a male with that much love inside turn cruel and ruthless?”
Ryder touched her cheek, his gaze solemn. “By forgetting the most important rule. Take care of the pack at all costs. A leader must sometimes forgo his own interests in the interest of his people.”
They walked quietly back to the lodge. Kara climbed the staircase to her room, Ryder following close behind.
In the bedroom, she pushed a hand through the long fall of her hair, wishing for a few moments more of forgetting, of running free and wild. The worst part with her sire had been the uncertainty. Not knowing when her father’s mood would shift from reasonable to cruel and violent. Not knowing when something she said would bring a nod or a slap across her mouth. Not knowing when the thin ice beneath her feet would hold for another day or shatter, plunging her into the cold abyss.
“I left when things were at their worst. I feel like I abandoned the pack.”
“Hey.” Ryder gently clasped her upper arms, turning her toward him. “Remember the good times.”
“It’s hard when I have this….” She rubbed her ruined cheek. “Aiden took me and ran that night because he feared Dad would kill me for kissing you. He saved my life. I owe him everything. But what would have happened if we’d stayed? Could we have made a difference?”
The temperature dropped with the icy chill of his cold anger. “I should have broken Alastair’s neck to keep you here, where you belong. Damnit, I should have done something.”
“What could you do? You were locked up. And you and Aiden would have butted heads if he came into power. You don’t get along.”
“For your sake, I would have tried.”
She glanced up. “It wouldn’t suit you, Ryder. You’re the worst omega I’ve ever known. You’re too strong and stubborn to follow others. I feel so guilty for sneaking away in the middle of the night, but if I had stayed, it might have been worse. I saw the photo of my mom you left for me and I realize how much I look like her. It must have tormented him, seeing me alive each day, knowing his mate was gone. Every moment he saw me was a reminder of his immeasurable loss, another ripping open of the wounds my mother’s death inflicted on him. I made my father crazy.”
Two warm arms settled around her waist. Ryder pulled her against his hard, muscled body. “You didn’t make him crazy. Her death did. He must have loved her very, very much. And of course it hurts, knowing that he couldn’t overcome your mother’s loss enough to love you as well.”
Iron fingers tightened around her throat. “It makes me fear love. Because if that is love, destructive and abusing, I don’t want it. I’d rather stay hidden in my room for the rest of my life than cause someone else that much pain if my heart shattered like his did when my mother died.”