He’d forced the bonding on her, and even though in the end she’d actively participated, he still felt as if he’d almost raped her. Self-loathing and disgust consumed him. How could he have done that? Losing control was never an option for him. His father’s tainted blood ran through his veins and he knew what he was capable of if he didn’t keep constant guard over his emotions. But yesterday... Sighing heavily, he acknowledged the truth. Yesterday, he’d let the famed werewolf possessiveness take over. Reason had been lost and he’d brutally forced himself on his mate. What kind of a monster did that?
Absentmindedly, he noted the fork in his hand was bending under the strength of his grip and his jaw clenched as he carefully set the utensil down on the table. What was happening to him? His behaviour was totally unacceptable, as if the wolf side of him was dominating the human. Indeed, when he’d blood-bonded with Elise, his wolf had taken over, driving him to claim his mate so that no one else could ever have her He’d been too rough, too animalistic; so caught up in the act that by the end he’d dropped exhausted at her side, immediately falling asleep without even checking how she was feeling.
When he awoke afterward, he’d stared horrified at the mark he’d inflicted on Elise’s neck. She’d moaned in her sleep and it had been like someone stabbing his heart. He’d hurt his mate, marking her in a fit of possessive rage, doubting her word... True, the evidence against her was substantial, but he should have examined it with calm reason rather than just reacting in anger.
When she’d finally stirred, he’d sensed that Elise was scared and confused. Then, as the reality of what had occurred sank in, sadness seemed to consume her. He’d reached out to her, but she’d drawn back in fear and that was when he knew he had to block the connection between them. She didn’t want him—well, she desired him physically, he knew that—but she couldn’t really want him in her life anymore. His actions had destroyed the tentative relationship they’d been building.
It wouldn’t surprise him in the least if she asked to leave, to return to her original pack. Such an action would break the alliance and he’d have to fight the Elders on it...
Once again, he sighed heavily, knowing he could never let her go, even if it was allowed. She was his mate and the possessiveness of their race would never allow him to set her free, but he’d do his best to leave her alone, to give her the space she needed. It went against every instinct he had, but he’d do it. A wry smile drifted over his face. Even now, his wolf was working against his human resolve, trying to convince him that Elise wanted to contact him. The tingle in the back of his mind had him automatically opening up, but he caught himself in time and firmly shut the door. It was just wishful thinking on his part. Elise wouldn’t be calling to him. Giving her privacy was the least he could do.
Sensing someone beside him, Kane glanced up. Helen was there with a worried expression on her normally pleasant round face. Raising his brows, he looked at her questioningly.
“I’m sorry to bother you, Kane, but the Grey Goose just called. Elise didn’t show up for work today and they were wondering if she was ill. I know she went for a walk this morning, but she never came back. Her car’s still here...” Helen’s voice trailed off and she twisted her hands nervously.
Kane pushed his chair back and stood up, nodding for Helen to follow him. He didn’t want the rest of the pack overhearing their conversation. Once in the kitchen, he rubbed the back of his neck and looked at Helen out of the corner of his eye. The woman was almost like his mother and he felt like a little kid confessing to her. “You see, Helen, Elise and I... Well, we had a...er...disagreement yesterday and I told her she couldn’t work at the Grey Goose anymore. I guess she thought I meant it.”
“You what?” Helen looked at him incredulously.
“Yeah, I know. I’m an idiot. She’s really mad at me, so she’s probably waiting until I’m gone before coming home for lunch. I guess she forgot to call Edward to tell him.”
Helen seemed to be thinking hard for a moment before speaking. “Kane, it’s really none of my business, but I can’t keep this to myself. Elise told me some of what happened yesterday—about the diary and Bryan; how you fought and then bonded. She was really upset—”
Kane interrupted. “I know. She’s scared of me now and sad that I took away the chance to blood-bond with someone she really loves... Hey! What was that for?” Helen had just slapped him across the back of the head! He bit back the snarl that such an action would have earned anyone else.