The Matchmaker's Playbook(96)
“All me, sweet cheeks.” I winked and stole the cracker out of her hand. “Don’t I look like I can decorate?”
She eyed me up and down and frowned. “I guess so, but why have them if you’ve never brought girls back here? I mean, throw pillows make the bed look inviting.”#p#分页标题#e#
“Wow, it’s like you’ve jumped into my head,” I grumbled. “They look nonthreatening, if that’s what you mean.”
“Exactly!” Blake pounded the spot between us. “Almost like, ‘Oh, hey, this isn’t a one-night stand. I have throw pillows.’ Do one-night stands have throw pillows?”
“Hell no.” I shook my head. “It’s scary that you’re picking up on things like that. Hey, want a job?”
“Riding you isn’t a job, sorry.”
“Damn it!” I stole another cracker from her hand while she glared daggers in my direction and then shoved the box into my face.
“Stop stealing them from my fingers. Grab them from the box like a normal human being or I’m not letting you touch my boobs anymore.”
“Tits—they’re tits. ‘Boobs’ is what a middle schooler calls them, all the while getting embarrassed that the mere mention of the word is giving him an erection in front of the class while he’s giving a speech on his favorite grandma.”
Blake’s horrified expression said it all. “Please tell me you made that up.”
“Ask Lex if I made it up. Just do it when I’m not in the room. I’d hate to get punched again.”
Blake burst out laughing and handed me the cracker she was munching on. “For that, you don’t have to work for the cracker.”
“That’s my girl.” I chomped down on it and reached for the bottle of wine we’d brought into the room. “But seriously, want a job?”
“Ian . . .”
“Don’t Ian me. Damn, it’s like Gabi told you how to draw out my name as long as possible, in turn making me feel guilty as hell before I even ask for a favor!”
“So it’s a favor?”
“Not really.” I frowned. “More like a joint venture. Care to listen?” I held up the bottle. “I’ll pour you a double.”
Blake hesitated, then held out her hand for the cup. “Double me.”
“If the lady would like a double, the lady gets a double.” I poured the wine nearly to the rim and handed it over. “So I’ve been thinking.”
“That’s fascinating, Ian, do continue. What are the big thoughts taking place down here?” She pointed to my dick.
“Hilarious.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s like now that you’ve made his acquaintance you don’t care about public shaming anymore. Good to know. Storing that information for later.” I poured myself a glass of wine and leaned back against the headboard. “I can’t really continue working the way I am. Now that I have a girlfriend and I’m in a committed relationship, if it gets around that I’m seeing you, Wingmen Inc. won’t work, so I need to come up with a different plan.”
“Hmm.” Blake sipped her wine quietly, her expression unreadable. After her second sip, she said, “Well, you can still offer advice and take girls through the steps. In most situations, that should be enough. Almost like a life coach. I did used to call you the love coach, so there you have it.”
“Yeah.” I frowned. “And Lex could probably do more of the grunt work, since he’s completely single and will probably die alone.”
“I’m sure he appreciates your optimism about his future.”
“Last time he agreed. Trust me, he embraces it with a scary joy that I’m sure is only matched by pubescent boys when they watch Baywatch reruns.”
“I’m sure he won’t mind, then.” Blake stared at ESPN and frowned, then leaned forward and frowned harder. “Um, Ian? Do they still run stories on you?”#p#分页标题#e#
“What? Why?” I glanced at the TV. They were showing reruns of last year’s most promising drafts.
I’d seen the footage a thousand times.
And each time it stung.
But it didn’t now.
I used to turn it off, walk away, work out, get drunk, or just try to focus on something else, but with Blake in my bed, eating crackers, it was less painful. The sting was gone, and in place of the hole that had once been there . . . I had her.
Reaching for her hand, I squeezed it and then turned up the TV.
“Wow”—Blake watched with rapt fascination—“you’re amazing!”
“I was a safety. Hardly the quarterback,” I said, though my chest puffed out a bit more when her eyes widened at the next play.