His lips slid over her damp cheek. “I love you, Carina. Do you hear me? I love you.” He paused and lifted her up on her toes. “Now come for me.”
He sunk his fingers deep in her channel and rubbed hard. She cried out as waves of pleasure rocked through her and tore her to pieces. He lifted her, placed her on the bed, and fit himself with a condom. Then plunged.
Mine.
Carina dug her heels into his back and gave him everything. He buried himself so deep inside there was nothing left but him. No gentleness marred the ferocity of his strokes. He drove her right back to the edge and shoved her over again.
His warmth and strength surrounded her. She floated and dimly noted his own release. Carina never let go of him as darkness finally crashed and she didn’t have to think anymore.
• • •
Max stroked back her sweat-dampened hair and lay his cheek against hers. His hand cupped her breast, and one thigh tangled in between her legs. The scent of her clung to his skin. He wondered why it had taken him so long to realize he loved her. He understood why he had avoided love in the past. Yes, he had been afraid to make a commitment due to his father, afraid he had some of his genes, afraid he’d hurt another woman like his mother had been hurt all those years ago. But the primary reason was simple.
Fear.
His heart no longer belonged to him. Was this how Carina had felt all those years? The torture and fear and joy of wanting to be in another’s presence? He’d give his life for her, but it still wasn’t his choice to make. She lay next to him, her body his, but her mind still far, far away.
“What are you thinking about?” he whispered.
She lifted his hand and pressed her lips against his palm. “How much you mean to me. All those times you walked through the door with Michael, I wondered what it would be like to be loved by you. To make love with you. I watched woman after woman parade in front of me and prayed for my turn. Now it’s here, and I’m too afraid to take it.”
He rolled her over to face him. Chocolate brown eyes filled with a sadness and vulnerability that tore his heart. “I love you. This isn’t about doing the right thing, or not becoming like my father. I want a life with you and I won’t settle for any other woman.”
She didn’t move. Didn’t react to his words. Her dark curly hair fell over her shoulders and revealed the slope of a stubborn chin, full cheeks, and long nose. She was strong and beautiful and perfect. Panic roared through his blood and dimmed his ears. “Carina, please listen to me. I never thought I could be good enough for you. My age, our family, everything I believed myself to be. Now I see I could spend every day of my life making you happy you married me. Making myself worthy of you.”
“I want that, too, Max. But I—”
“What?” Her silence rattled his nerves and hope for a happily-ever-after. What more could he give her? What more could she want? He studied her face and looked deep into her eyes.#p#分页标题#e#
Then he knew.
“You don’t believe me.”
She flinched. “I want to believe you. I think you even mean it this time. But I’ll always wait for the drop. I’m afraid I’ll wonder all the time why you chose me. I look at you and my heart swells up and I don’t know what to do with all my emotions. It still feels like I’m sixteen and hoping to please you, or get a smile.”
Coldness seeped through his skin. In a way, this wasn’t even about him. This was about her own personal hang-ups and how she never felt good enough. Could he live like this? Always reassuring her or worried she’d disappear because of her insecurities? Dio, what a complete mess. How did she not see how special she was? How he didn’t deserve her? “We are no longer children, Carina. Isn’t it time you truly realize that, and how others see you?” The truth slammed him, and he sat up. “You are right, though. I need you to meet me halfway. I need a woman who believes in my love for her, who will stand by my side and won’t be afraid something will take me away. I need someone strong and brave.” His set his jaw and made his decision. “You are all that, my love. And more. But until you believe it, we don’t have a chance.”
“I know.” Her voice broke. With one graceful motion, she rose from the bed and stood naked before him. Resolution glimmered from dark eyes, along with a sliver of sadness that pierced his heart. “That’s why I can’t be with you right now. I need to know I’m enough on my own before I can take this chance again. I’m so sorry, Max. But I’m leaving you.”