The Marriage Contract(83)

And this was the last time she’d walk through the door.

It was tempting to get back in the cab and go straight to the Hallorans. Too tempting. She couldn’t do it, though. She’d been a coward this entire time. If she was going to step up, she was going to do it right. She would say her good-byes. She would face the firing squad wearing something other than the clothes she’d had on yesterday. And she would do it with her spine straight and head held high.

It took entirely too little time to shower and change, but she refused to linger in her room. If she stopped moving, she’d falter, and that was unacceptable. She made her way down to her father’s office, mentally preparing herself and going over what she’d say. She was so focused on the impending confrontation that it took longer than she’d like to admit to realize the room was empty.

There was no time to search for Papa.

She sighed and circled around the desk to write him a note. The pen was heavy in her hand, but she forced the words out. They weren’t the right ones, but there were no right words for this situation.

Papa, I am so terribly sorry. I was the one who killed Brendan Halloran. This war is my fault, and it has gone on far too long. I’m going to set things right. I love you, and I hope someday you can forgive me.

There was more, so much more, but she made herself set the pen aside and walk to the door. She paused for one last glance at the room where there’d been so many father-daughter talks. Papa was strong. He’d survived Ronan’s death. He’d survive hers. She had to believe that.

Oh my God, I don’t want to do this. She shoved the thought down deep, wishing she could do the same with the fear making each step harder to take than the last. Turning herself in didn’t mean a clean death. If it did, maybe it would be less terrifying. The Hallorans would make an example of her. She knew what that would entail, every excruciating detail of it.

Callie didn’t want to die. Not when she’d finally started to live.

She moved through the house, pausing to touch photos here and there. The one that caught and held her attention was one of her and Ronan, taken barely a month before he’d died. He had his arm around her shoulder and they were both grinning at the camera like fools. It had been one of the last carefree moments of her life. She touched it. I’m finally doing the right thing, Ronan. It might not be what you’d have chosen and it might have taken me far too long to get around to, but I’m going to make things right.

Her fingers itched to dial Teague, but what would she say? That this was all her fault and she’d spent all this time with him and never told him the single damning truth that might make him hate her? That she wasn’t the woman he thought she was? She didn’t know if she could stand to hear the caring leach out of his voice and be replaced by a cold stranger.

And if it didn’t happen?

If he somehow miraculously forgave her…

She’d be putting him in the position of having to choose between her safety and the safety of his entire family and everyone they protected. And no matter which way he chose, he’d bear the guilt for the rest of his life. She loved him. She couldn’t let him shoulder any more than he already did.

No, this decision was hers and hers alone.

She walked out the back door and made a beeline to the garage. She picked the vehicle closest to the door—the Escalade she’d driven for her date with Teague. It hurt to think back to how good that had been, to how uncertain she’d been of him. And now they were married. She touched the ring on her finger. Teague would be okay, too. He might care deeply about her, but he loved his family. He would survive. That was all that mattered.

As long as Callie did what it took.

She took a deep breath and drove out of the garage. It wasn’t a long drive into the Halloran territory, and she took the most direct route. The mix of old and new gave way to smaller and smaller homes, all sandwiched in together. She pulled up to the curb next to the pub where Teague had met James Halloran before. James was the best bet she had of the trade-off actually happening. Teague trusted his word—or at least he had before the drive-by shooting that took his brother’s life. Could she trust him?

What if it’s all for nothing? What if they don’t let Carrigan go? What if I turn myself in and it makes things worse?

If she was going to sacrifice herself, it couldn’t be for nothing. She refused to let it be for nothing. Which meant she needed a contingency plan in place. She took a shuddering breath and went through her phone, looking for the information she’d saved there after she graduated from college and officially stepped into a leadership role within the family. As Papa had taught her, it paid to know her enemies, and not all of them were on the same side of the law as the Sheridans were.