"Not a bit." Sam slowed her pace and turned to walk backward in front of Kenna. "But that's because it's right. Ash is the one. There's no doubt in my mind. I want him forever."
"No matter what?"
"No matter what." Sam came to a stop, cocking her head and giving Kenna a funny look. "Why?"
Kenna stopped, too, and lifted a shoulder. "Even if the life you expected-the one you'd dreamed of-isn't what you actually get?"
"Yeah, even then. Any life with Ash is better than none at all. We learned that the hard way. I can't imagine not being with him. No matter where we are or what we do."
After they'd gotten engaged, Sam had told Kenna about her love affair with Ash and how they'd battled drug lords, jealous lovers, and crooked cops in order to find their happily ever after. Kenna had heard Luke and Cass went through something similar where Cass had nearly died at the hospital with Luke by her side.
Sam's expression went thoughtful. "Do you think Bear's still the one?"
Kenna loved him. By God, she loved that man with every ounce of her being. He was the only one she'd ever wanted her entire life. The one who completed her so fully he'd ruined her for anyone else.
It was always him.
"He could have been the one," Kenna said with a shrug.
"But?" Sam asked.
But she was still angry. Though, the stage of anger varied. When he'd first told her about his condition-and that he'd kept it from her for so long-she was raging-red angry. She'd wanted to lash out at him and make him hurt as bad as she did. Then it morphed into disbelief at how absolutely clueless he'd been to not trust in their love. And now she was sitting at just plain pissed off. All that time apart could've been avoided if he hadn't been so damn hardheaded.
She didn't have the energy to relive everything that had happened over the last week, especially what transpired last night, so she tried to change the subject.
"It's a long story," Kenna said. "Besides, you have a wedding to focus on today. Stop worrying about me and Bear." She pasted on a brave smile, even if she didn't feel it.
"Tell me," Sam said, her forehead crinkling slightly above the large shades. "How long have we been friends?"
Kenna thought back for a few seconds. "More than twenty years."
"Right, so I'm well within my rights to tell you when you're full of shit."
"Excuse me?"
Sam's smile was cocky. "You, Kenna McCord, are full. Of. Shit. You're changing the subject because you don't want to face the facts."
"What facts are those?"
"That you're afraid to trust Bryan with your heart again. So you'd rather be miserable for another twelve years, holding on to that anger until it consumes you. At least then you can be safe knowing he won't hurt you again."
"You don't know what happened," Kenna said, indignation making her bite the words out. "Or what he did."
Sam waved that away with a slice of her hand. "The question isn't what he did. It's whether you're willing to forgive him for it. And the only way you can forgive is if you decide to trust him again."
Trust. There was that word again. After everything that happened between them, how could she trust him again? What could he ever hope to do to prove to her that he deserved it?
Even if she'd entertain the idea of another word with Bryan, she couldn't imagine what he could say or do to make things right. To make her forget the pain of the last twelve years.
But Sam had a point. Pain couldn't heal without a person first accepting it and deciding to forgive. It was up to Kenna whether she could or not.
"So," Sam asked. "Are you willing to forgive him? Can you let Tyke back into your life and your heart?"
Kenna caught her confused reflection in Sam's shades. "I don't know," she said honestly. "I just don't know."
"Well, at least it isn't a ‘hell no,' " Sam said, sliding her gaze over Kenna's shoulder. "I got her warmed up, now she's all yours."
Kenna's body locked up as she slowly turned to see Bear standing behind her with Ash.
His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed and then cleared his throat. He looked a little unsure of himself when he glanced at Ash.
Ash forced Bryan forward with a shove. Bryan stumbled a step or two before regaining his balance.
Kenna jerked a look at Sam, trying to spear the other woman with her gaze. You set me up.
Sam smiled, not worried in the least about the accusation. She clasped Kenna's hands. "Hear him out. Please? For me?"
"I hate you," Kenna hissed.
"No, you don't," Sam whispered. "I'm helping both of you get out of your own way." Sam stepped toward her soon-to-be husband but stopped. "Oh, almost forgot." She dug into her shorts pocket and then started fiddling with something on Kenna's shirt. "Like I said, this was always about you guys getting out of your own way."
When Kenna glanced down at the item pinned above her heart, she saw it was oval-shaped, about an inch long and half inch wide, with a decorative E and V inscription in the center.
Aunt Estelle's brooch.
"Where did you-?"
Sam was already curled under Ash's arm and they were headed back up toward the resort, holding each other tightly. "Don't be late for the wedding!" Sam called over her shoulder with a grin. "And remember, it was all for your own good!"
Bear stood with both hands in the front pockets of the same shorts he was wearing the night of the rehearsal dinner. Same shirt, too. And those damn untied black boots. Only difference was his hair. It wasn't in a tie. Blond strands hung loosely around his shoulders in disarray as if he'd been tugging on it all night. The sight would've made her giggle if it weren't for the fact that she was so shocked to see him at all.
When it seemed like he wasn't going to start, she said, "You hurt me."
He took a hesitant step forward. "I know. I was stupid. I was an idiot. I should've told you. I should've come back. I'm sorry, Kenna. I'm so sorry."
She studied his face. It looked paler than normal. Crease lines around his forehead and eyes appeared deeper. His expression showed desperation.
"Not good enough," she said, crossing her arms. "What else?"
His eyes widened slightly like he hadn't expected that. "It tore me apart to stay away. I thought about you every day and every night. It haunted me. I hated myself because I'd failed you. In more ways than one. I was a wreck. It took me years to even want to be around other people. I just felt so goddamn sorry for myself. For what I'd done to you. If I could take all the pain away, I would."
He paused like he was trying to gauge her reaction, so she lifted an eyebrow to say, keep going.
"I'm nothing without you, Kenna. You're the only woman I've ever wanted, and the only one I'm ever going to want. Ever."
A soft wave of warm water ebbed around her ankles, then as it retreated it pulled the sand away, forcing her to shift her weight. "Still not good enough. I know all of that. We want each other, that's never been our issue. But do you know how hard it is for me to even think about trusting you again?"
Another step forward. "I do. That's what I regret most. I hate that you can't trust me. You have every right not to. But I'm telling you, Kenna, I've changed."
She still wasn't going to relent her closed-off stance. Words. Right now they were just words. "How do I know you won't go off and make decisions without my input again? How do I know you've changed?"
"I have," he said. "I swear."
"I don't believe you," she said. "You wasted more than a decade thinking I'd care about not having kids with you. If you had thought for one second about us, you would've realized that we could've worked through it. As long as we were together. There are so many options out there to be parents. Are you okay with the fact that you can't have kids? Because it seems to be a huge hang-up for you."
"I don't even care if we can't have kids."
Her eyes narrowed.
He brushed a frustrated hand over his hair. "I mean, I care. Of course, I care. It's just that I don't care if they're not mine."
Her eyebrows went up.
"Fuck. That's not what I meant, either." He blew out a breath, then balled his hands into fists. "They're never gonna be my kids, you know, biologically. And I'm okay with that. It doesn't mean I won't love them. As long as we raise them together, that's all I care about."
"So you'd be fine with adoption."
"Yes," he said.
"Fostering?"
"Sure."
"Using a donor?"
He opened his mouth, but then closed it. He hesitated, his features guarded, then tried again. "What do you mean? How does a donor work? Like, you'd be pregnant? You wouldn't have to … I mean, would another guy have to have sex with you?"