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The Man I Want to Be (Under Covers)(3)

By:Christina Elle


Sam was staring at her, waiting for a response.

Kenna groaned, knowing her next statement was going to blow open the  door she'd kept firmly locked for most of her adult life. "I didn't just  meet him."

The other couple getting married this week, Luke Calder and Cassandra Stone, joined them.         

     



 

"Shit," Bear grumbled. "Calder, really? Let's just invite the whole goddamn party over here."

Luke slid his free hand into the front pocket of his flat-front shorts,  grinning like he'd won some sort of prize. "Come on, Tyke. You think I'd  give up the chance to meet the woman who just decked you? Hell, I want  to buy her a drink."

"Drinks are free this week," Bear muttered.

"Then I'll at least shake her hand." He extended an arm to Kenna. She accepted and shook.

In a white, slim-fit T-shirt, pressed khaki shorts, dazzling smile, and  aviators, Luke looked every bit the pretty boy Sam had described him as.  His fiancée fit neatly under his arm, looking approachable in a simple  sundress, flat sandals, and her brunette hair pulled into a bun. Her  eyes were gentle and patient, skills no doubt acquired from years  working as a guidance counselor in inner-city schools.

Kenna took in the sight of Bear's friends, seeming so big and  superhuman, and she couldn't help but compare them. Ash was smack in the  middle of Luke and Bear in terms of looks. He wasn't pretty boy or  dashing like Luke, but he wasn't a beastly animal of a man like Bear,  either. It was evident Ash demanded authority and could probably snap a  man's neck with a simple twist of his large, shapely arms. Luke,  although much leaner in build, had something in the set of his shoulders  that told Kenna he was agile. Quick. He didn't need bulk muscle like  his friends. He could handle himself at a moment's notice if needed. It  was overwhelming. Being surrounded by the triple power.

"So you two have met before?" Ash asked with an amused gleam in his eyes.

Bryan's cheeks colored, which caused Ash's eyebrows to lift to his  hairline. "Holy shit," Ash said. "You've done more than just meet."

Bear's jaw worked, and he looked away.

"This is freaking awesome." Luke clapped his hands. "Do tell."

Sam glanced at Kenna for an explanation. Which in turn caused the rest  of the faces to turn her way. Crap. She'd kill for one of those drinks  Luke offered a minute ago. A double, in fact.

Kenna chewed on the inside of her cheek. She and Bear were stuck  together for seven whole days. Seven. An entire week. She'd spent twelve  years burying their past so she'd never have to think about it again.  And now she had to face him every day on this small private island.

Kenna had seen the schedule for the week. It was jam-packed with  activities. They were expected to attend as much as possible. It would  be rude to skip out just because she was trying to avoid the one person  who single-handedly broke her heart and stole her future.

"Sammie," she said. "You remember me telling you about Bear … " She  trailed off, knowing her friend would remember. They'd talked for hours  on the phone, Sammie offering every consoling word in the English  language, after Kenna realized Bryan wasn't coming back.

The other woman nodded. "Of course."

Kenna pulled her lips inward and nodded right along with Sam.

Anytime, quicksand. Anytime.

Sammie glanced at Bryan, then at Kenna. "Wait, you mean … ?"

Biting her bottom lip, Kenna closed her eyes and dropped her chin once.

Sam turned her attention to Bryan. "You're Bear?"

"Who?" Ash and Luke asked at the same time.

Luke snorted a laugh. "Like … teddy bear?"

Kenna's gaze journeyed Bryan's tall frame all the way down to his black combat boots and back up. "No. Like grizzly bear."

"It's him," Sam said through a gasp. "Oh, honey. I had no idea. If I'd known, I would've never … "

"Known what?" Ash asked. "What's going on?"

Sam placed her hand on Ash's chest. "He and Kenna were engaged. He's the one who got away."

Bear's eyes went wide like saucers.

Kenna nearly suffocated on her saliva. "Wrong. He's the one who went  away. There's a difference. And engaged implies love. It wasn't love. It  was-" She groaned. "Ugh, I don't know what it was. But it wasn't love,  okay?"

It couldn't have been. She'd given him everything. Every single piece of  her, and he'd crushed it in his bare hands without any remorse. That's  not what real love should feel like.

Bear recovered and stared at her, his jaw working.

"Well, it's the truth," she told him, then turned to their audience. The  last thing she needed was their pity or invasive questions. She'd dealt  with that enough over the last decade. No more. It was his turn. She  connected with Sam's interested gaze, taking note of the woman's slight  smile. Kenna cleared her throat, pushing aside the uncomfortable feeling  of being under a microscope. "He proposed to me one day and then never  came back. Left me wondering for years where he was and what he was  doing. Sent me some quick bullshit email about me needing to move on  without him."         

     



 

They'd met when they were eight. Math class. He sat behind her and threw  little balled-up pieces of paper into her hair. That was the first time  she tried to punch him. Their height difference wasn't as vast back  then, so she managed to bop him in the jaw, her fist bouncing off as if  his skin had been rubber. It was enough to startle him but not do real  damage. He'd recovered quickly and told her that if she was going to  punch, then she ought to learn how to do it the right way. By thirteen  they'd started dating. By sixteen they'd slept together. And by eighteen  they were dreaming about their future together. He'd enlisted at  twenty-one, proposed to her, and that was the last she saw of him.

Until today.

"You were engaged?" Luke asked Bryan. "To her? Why the hell did you screw that up?"

Bear ran a quick hand over his hair again. "It's complicated, okay?"

Complicated? That's it? They'd planned a life together. Children. Hell,  if they'd had a little girl, they'd agreed to name her after Kenna's  late mom. And complicated was his best defense for destroying their  future?

"It's over," Kenna said, working to get her anger back in check. "Our  differences don't have to ruin a beautiful week for you guys. Bear and  I"-snickers came from Ash and Luke's general direction-"will avoid each  other the whole time we're here." She turned to the brute. "Right?"

Bear scanned the faces of their engrossed audience and his cheeks deepened in color. "Fine," he agreed.

His embarrassment threw her a little. It's what she'd been aiming for by  airing their dirty laundry to his friends. But he'd never been one to  show emotion or weakness before. Hell, in all the years they'd been  together, he'd never once let her see him cry. So now, taking in his  reaction, she considered that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't the same  stubborn boy she'd once known.

But as quick as the flush came, it was gone just as fast.

Bear stood at full height, which still had the power to do things to  her, given the small flip in her tummy, damn it, and he said, "Sam's my  new badminton partner."

"Me?" Sammie asked, surprised. "Don't you mean Ash?"

"Hell no," Bryan said. "Have you seen him handle a racket?"

Then again. Maybe not.





Chapter Two


Kenna and Ash came in second place in the badminton tournament, which  made her smile. Especially since Bear stomped around the sand pissed off  that he and Sam placed fourth. Kenna couldn't help but smile a little  over that. It was the small victories that mattered. After, the women  trekked across the resort to the spa. Sam had scheduled an afternoon of  pampering and relaxation. Kenna didn't know about the rest of the  ladies, but she could sure use some freaking relaxation.

And time away from Bear to get her head on straight.

There were five of them in the steam room, all outfitted in white towels  secured under their arms. In addition to Kenna, Sam, and Aunt Estelle,  others included Sammie's grandma, Rose, who kept wiping a finger across  her glasses to clear the fog. She had the comforting countenance of a  typical grandmom, with her gray hair, round face, and full midsection.  Anytime Kenna visited, Rose always made her feel welcome and at home.

Celia, who lived on the same street in Baltimore as Sam, Estelle, and  Rose, was quiet and sweet. Kenna didn't think she'd heard the woman say  more than two words in the time since she'd met her. She was the  smallest of the older ladies, her bony shoulders protruding out like  sharp wings. What softened her appearance was a strand of white pearls  and perfect chignon at the base of her neck.

Kenna had spent most of the earlier match stealing glances at Bear,  trying to come to terms with the fact that he was actually here. It felt  like some sort of dream, or rather a nightmare. Like he'd been  manifested, forcing her to remember everything they would never share  together. Everything he chose to take away from them.