Keely swallowed and turned to look at Hunt. He would never look at her the same after she told him the truth, but she was going to try to explain.
“I’ll explain, but you have to promise you won’t tell anyone. I can’t bear to have anyone else know.”
“I promise.”
It had all been such a petty argument, that night so long ago.
Keely took a deep breath to try to make him understand why she had to stay, had to run the cafe, had to take care of everything. She’d never told another person the truth, though her mother knew it and never let her forget it. “You see…” Keely cleared her throat and continued, “Katherine’s accident was all my fault.”
Hunt’s eyes went wide, and he sat up straight, bringing the swing to an abrupt halt. “What do you mean it was your fault?”
“Kat wanted to borrow my car the night of the accident. You know the one I saved up for to take to college? Well, I was mad because she’d borrowed a red sweater of mine the night before without asking and left it on the floor with a chocolate malt stain on it. A stupid, stupid sweater.” Keely looked out into the night, away from Hunt’s eyes. She couldn’t bear to see the coming disillusionment in his eyes. She couldn’t bear for Hunt to look at her like her mother did.
“She asked to borrow my car that night because she had the hardest time driving my father’s stick shift car. Mine was automatic. But since I was mad at her, I said no. It wasn’t that I was going to use it, I was actually just working that night, but I said no. So, she convinced Father to let her use his car. Off she went in a car she could barely manage. All because of a stupid sweater and a senseless fight. You know the rest. She lost control of the car, probably when she tried to shift gears going around that curve. If I had just let her use my car, none of this would have happened.” Keely took a deep breath, still deliberately looking away from Hunt, putting up a wall of defense.
“My mother heard our argument, and will never let me forget the accident could have been prevented if I just hadn’t been so selfish. She blames me for my father’s heart attack, too. I can hardly fault her for her attitude towards me. Between my not letting Kat borrow my car, and causing my father’s heart attack, I have ruined my family. I am such a disappointment to my mother. I’m a disappointment to myself. I’ll work the rest of my life to make it up to Katherine and Mother, if it’s the last thing I do. I owe them that much, and so much more.”
The guilt still had the power to stab her to the bone, so acute it was a physical pain. The tears came now, in a hot rush, blinding her. She didn’t even bother to swipe them away. No amount of tears would be able to wash away her guilt. She was a terrible sister, a horrible daughter, and the least she could do was run the cafe and try to keep the family afloat financially—and she wasn’t doing a very good job of that, either.
She turned to look at Hunt, knowing she’d see the disillusionment in his eyes. Instead, she saw a hint of pain, and the twinge of guilt. She recognized guilt, she could spot it from a mile away.
~ * ~
A rush of guilt pounded through Hunt. All these years Keely had been blaming herself for Katherine’s accident… and now, he knew the truth but was sworn to secrecy. A wave of anguish rolled over him, torn between his promise to his sister, and this woman sitting beside him, crushed by her guilt. His heart pounded in his chest and the feeling Keely had just been saying she had? Of being trapped? That’s exactly how he felt at this very minute.
He wanted to take her into his arms and tell her nothing was her fault, that she didn’t have to keep living with the guilt. He wanted to take that haunted look from her sad eyes and wipe away the tears making tracks down her cheek. He wanted to tell her the accident had been Kevin’s fault. Kevin, who would surely have told Keely, if he’d known that she thought it was her fault.
Right?
Or would he? He’d kept it a secret until his deathbed, swearing Natalie to silence.
Hunt couldn’t break his promise to his sister, couldn’t go against Kevin’s wishes, but he couldn’t stand there and see Keely in such pain.
He stood up, pulled Keely to her feet, and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. His shirt dampened from her tears, and he patted her back awkwardly, cursing the position he’d been put in with his promise to Natalie.
“I don’t think all this is your fault, Keely.” He stroked her hair. “Accidents happen. People have heart attacks. You can’t live your life out of some kind of assumed guilt.”
“You don’t understand. You’ve never taken on any responsibility. You’ve always just done what you want.”