She shivered as she looked at the vicious-looking inch-long scar. “He could have done much worse.”
His shoulder lifted. “He was hurting. His family was ruined. I got it.”
She ran her fingers across the heavy dark stubble on his cheek. “You were too. Couldn’t he see that you weren’t to blame for your father’s actions?”
“When you’re angry and sad, you lash out.”
Yes, but it hadn’t been his burden to carry. Her heart squeezed. How hard must it have been for a college-aged boy to have to defend his hero.
He pulled her tight against his chest, his hand smoothing her hair. “My father wants to see me. That call you heard yesterday morning was my PI saying he’d done his usual check on him, that he didn’t look great and he wants to see me.”
The call that had come right before he’d gone ice-cold on her…it made sense now.
“Do you know why?”
“No.”
“Are you going to go?”
“I don’t know. When he got out of jail, he told me he needed time to get his head together, to figure out what he wanted to do. My mom had already remarried, and many of his friends wanted nothing to do with him. I was it really for him, but he didn’t even want to see me. He disappeared, showed up in the islands. I told myself distancing myself from him was the best thing for me. I was hurting so badly, I needed space. But we never really reconnected after that, except over legalities. Every time I tried, he pushed me away.”
“I’m sure he felt a lot of shame.”
His fingers traced the curve of her ear. “I think I was afraid to face what had become of him. He was such a strong, proud man. Afterward…it was like seeing a ghost of him.”
Her heart contracted in another long pull. She took his hand in hers and laced her fingers through his. “That could never happen to you. You are self-possessed in a way I have rarely seen, Jared. You know who you are.”
His fingers tensed beneath hers as if he might pull them away, then he let out a breath and curled them tightly around hers. “I should have gone to see him. I should have insisted on it instead of just having him watched over. He’s my father, for God’s sake. He’s not well and I’ve let him become a virtual hermit.”
She shook her head. “You were hardly more than a boy when he left. You were sad and angry because he was supposed to take care of you.”
“It doesn’t excuse my behavior.”
“It’s never too late to make it right.”
There was a long pause. Her fingers tightened around his. “Go, Jared. Talk to him. You won’t forgive yourself if you don’t.”
He was silent then. She curled into his chest and tried to absorb his tension. But this part of Jared, this haunted part, was one only he could deliver himself from. Forgive himself for. She felt it rise up between them like a physical presence as the minutes wore on, creating a distance she couldn’t bridge.
She got the message. Dressed and went back into the cabin and asked Betty for a cup of tea. Then sat watching the night as it sped by. Did people ever truly slay their demons? Or was it just easier to accept them as a part of you? She had always done that, but Jared had convinced her to try harder. Now if he could only do that for himself.
CHAPTER TWELVE
THEY NEEDED GLAMMING UP.
Bailey came to that decisive conclusion about her slides for the executive committee meeting about the same time she remembered that the steaming Americano her colleague had brought her as reinforcement was sitting untouched on her desk. Tugging the top off the coffee, she brought the steaming brew to her lips. Maybe she needed some graphs. Clip art? Or maybe a joke…those meetings always needed livening up, didn’t they?
And where had her concentration gone? She’d been doing so well all morning, ignoring the fact that Jared returned from the Caribbean today. Ignoring the fact that she was dying to see him to the point she really had to wonder about herself. She wanted to know how things had gone with his father. She wanted to know if he’d heard from Alexander. And shouldn’t he be in by now?
A smile curved her lips. She hadn’t needed to convince herself things could be different since she’d returned from France a week ago. They were different. She was the CMO of this vibrant, innovative company, she had a gazillion ideas in her head she couldn’t wait to execute and yes, there was that little detail that she was in love with her boss.
A zing of anticipation ratcheted through her, sparking a warm glow in her cheeks. She’d spent two nights at Jared’s place before he’d left. Two perfect nights in his stunning Pacific Heights mansion cooking together, getting to know each other and finishing off whatever work they’d had. And yes, countless hours in Jared’s bed learning each other in different ways. It had been so good, so intimate, she’d laughingly threatened to bake the next time she’d come over. Except the next time hadn’t come until the night before Jared had left to visit his father, and he’d been so keyed up about it, it had been a certified disaster.