Somehow Beth made it into the house and up to the chamber she shared with Ian. She closed the door on the maid who’d hurried to assist her, and then she numbly undressed to her chemise and lay down on the bed.
It was late afternoon, and the sun shone through the windows with all its strength. Beth lay still, her arm across her abdomen, the absence of the corset at last allowing her to breathe. A few tears trickled down her face, then dried, leaving her eyes burning. She thought she could hear the echo of Mrs. Barrington’s derisive cackle. Beth lay still until she heard Ian coming. Then she closed her eyes, not wanting to look at him.
Chapter Sixteen
Beth lay in the shadow of the canopy, her dark hair tangled across the pillow. Ian’s gaze traced the snakes of her hair, lines of brown silk across the linen. Six strands lay straight, seven intersecting them at odd angles, and three more lay across her pale chemise. He liked the pattern and studied it for a time. The skirt of Beth’s chemise had twisted to bare her calves, muscular now from her riding lessons. He reached down and touched her skin, then started when he found it clammy and cold.“Beth, are you ill?”
Beth’s eyelids fluttered, but she didn’t look at him. “No.”
Ian stopped, a tiny headache threading through his brain. He always had difficulty deciphering what another person was feeling, but Beth’s distress penetrated even the fog in his brain.
“Did you fall?” He sat down on the bed next to her.
“Were you frightened? Tell me.”
Beth sat up, her beautiful hair tumbling across her full breasts. “Ian, please explain to me what happened that night in High Holborn.”
He started shaking his head before she finished. So many people wanted to discuss it—Fellows, Hart, Beth. Hart had asked again today what Ian had done, had pried open a box in Ian’s memory that he wanted to keep locked forever.
Don’t make me see. . . .
Beth’s fingers bit down on his. “Please. I need to know.”
“You don’t.”“I do. I need to understand.”
“Leave it alone.” His words rang harshly in the stillness. “I want you to look at me like you did when you first met me, before you knew.”“How can I? Why can’t I know? I’m your wife.” She let go of his hand. “You were never going to tell me, were you, until Fellows let it out? How long would you have kept silent?”
“As long as I could.”
“Do you trust me so little?”
Ian looked away, his attention caught by the sharp shadow of leaves against the window shade. “With this, I trust no one.”
“Except Hart.”
“Especially not Hart.” The words were grim.
“Do you think I’d tell anyone what you say to me?” He flicked his gaze to her and then away, but not before he saw her blue eyes full of unshed tears. “Fellows asked you to.”
“And you believe I would? I know you do. But Fellows can’t put me on the witness stand, can he? A wife isn’t considered a credible witness against her husband. I heard you explain this to Hart.”
Ian’s heart raced, his mind going over every single word he’d exchanged with Hart at the folly. She’d been there, she must have been riding by, she’d stopped to listen. “Where was Cam? Was he with you? Did he hear?” Beth’s eyes widened. “No, his horse threw a shoe. I heard, no one else. I heard you talk about her blood. I heard you tell Hart you married me to keep Fellows from using me against you. Is that true?” She bleated a short laugh. “Of course it’s true. You don’t know how to lie.”
Memories rushed at him, hideous and vivid. Walking back into the room to see Sally’s white body against the sheets, the surprise on her face, the blood soaking her limbs, her dyed red hair snaking across the pillows in patterns similar to Beth’s. “I couldn’t help her. I failed her.” He’d failed Lily Martin, too, the lady who’d been in the hall outside the room, terror in her eyes. She’d seen. She’d known. She couldn’t be allowed to tell the constable. He’d hidden Lily away for five years, but in the end, she’d died. And now Beth. If she knew, she’d be in danger, too. “Help me understand,” Beth pleaded. “Tell me why you’re so afraid, why you’d do this to me.” “I should have known. I should have stopped it.”
“Stopped what? Known what?”
Ian closed his hands on Beth’s shoulders until she winced. Then he deliberately removed his grip and stood. “Cease asking me.”
“Ian, I’m your wife. I promise I will not run off to Inspector Fellows to tell him everything you say. I told you that the day he asked me.”