“What is it?” I opened the envelope but didn’t peer inside.
Sylvie raised her eyebrows, urging me to take a look. I did as requested. It was a voucher for childbirth classes. I smiled, suddenly overwhelmed by emotion.
“These will be great. I hadn’t even thought of it.” It was a kind gesture, and probably one of Sylvie’s attempts to try to distract my mind from Jett and help me focus on the future.
“Thank you.” I looked up at her. To my surprise, Sylvie didn’t return my smile as she watched me push the voucher back inside the envelope, and I couldn’t help but feel uneasy. The tension in her posture was unmistakable.
Was that a hint of nervousness on her face?
“Can I ask you something?” she said at last.
I narrowed my eyes, suddenly wary of her scary expression. I wasn’t sure how to reply. I didn’t want her to ask me anything, but I just said, very carefully, “What?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” she started.
I winced at what might be coming. Sylvie’s questions and statements always had that effect on me.
“I know you haven’t told your mom about your pregnancy yet. I probably wouldn’t either, because she can be a real dragon. But—” She moistened her lips, pausing as she considered her next words. “For the past few weeks, I’ve been wondering why you don’t really make any plans? I’m your best friend, and yet you never talk about the baby. No offense, Brooke, but it would be hard to believe you’re three months pregnant, if it weren’t for the test.”
So it was a personal issue between friends. I relaxed a little.
“Oh, that,” I said, flicking my wrist.
It was true.
Up until that moment, I had always avoided any discussion about the baby. I didn’t talk about my pregnancy like other expecting women, and I understood why it was a matter of concern for Sylvie. The truth was, even though I had listened and gone along with Jett’s and Sylvie’s suggestions, the entire situation seemed surreal. Now that Jett and I were over, I was trying even harder to banish any thoughts of what the future might have in store.
I smirked. “I’m not like other people, Sylvie. Maybe others want to scream it at the top of their lungs, but I don’t. I’m not comfortable telling the whole world my business.”
“But why? Aren’t you excited?” She narrowed her eyes. “Just because you and he are over, it shouldn’t change anything. You should be proud, go shopping, plan a baby shower. You should be talking about it nonstop, you know, do all the stuff women do when they’re pregnant. I’d love to help, even though I’m not even keen on having kids.” She paused, eyeing me cautiously. “Is it because of Jett?”
I winced inwardly at the way she said his name, as if he resembled an infectious disease.
“No. It’s—” My voice failed me. I took a deep breath and released it slowly. “It has nothing to do with him.”
I shot her a begging look, silently urging her to stop talking about him. Couldn’t she leave the matter be, forget his name like I was trying to?
“What is it then?” Sylvie insisted.
“It’s just...I can’t believe that I’m pregnant.”
“So being in denial is your solution?” She stared at me in shock. “You have to face reality eventually, particularly when you stop fitting into your clothes.”
“I’m not in denial,” I protested. “I just don’t want to risk anything.”
“Risk? I don’t understand.” She spread her hands, palms out, her usually smooth forehead creased in a frown. “What’s the problem? I understand you don’t want to talk about Jett, but what about your baby?”
“You’re a hell of annoying, you know that?” I laughed, even though the situation didn’t seem particularly amusing to me.
“I’m your friend. I’m supposed to be annoying.” She leaned forward, smoothing her hair back. “That’s what friends are for. We’re supposed to breathe down your neck to make sure you stay on track, but I can’t do that if you keep things to yourself. Ever since you met Jett, you’ve been shutting me out. Have you ever thought about how that makes me feel?” Her tone betrayed her hurt.
Surprised, I looked up at her and slowly realized that Sylvie had likely felt that way for a while. Shame burned through me.
Had I been so blind that I didn’t realize I was neglecting our friendship? We had been friends forever, and yet there were things Sylvie still didn’t know about me—things only Jett knew. For the past few weeks, I had been so focused on Jett that I had not realized Sylvie might feel left out. She had always been the sister I lost. And now with Jett gone, she was all I had. There was no doubt that she deserved my trust more than he did. I owed it to her to tell the truth.