“Shit happens, Sylvie. You know that.” I stroked her back in a soothing manner, but was only rewarded with a few tears trickling down her face.
“But you don’t deserve it.”
“I know,” I murmured. “No one ever does.” Seeing her crying and caring so much about me, even when drunk, made me realize just how much I had missed her in the weeks since I moved out. I could almost feel the intensity of her pain—as though she was more hurt than me. My vision blurred, but I didn’t want to cry. My head was already throbbing so hard I was afraid it might burst.
Another tear rolled down her cheek, and she sniffled.
“Stop,” I whispered. As hard as I tried to keep my own tears at bay, I failed.
“I can’t help it,” Sylvie said. “I hate what he did to you. I hate that he lied. He could have at least had the balls to tell the truth.” She took another sip from her glass.
“That’s what bothers me the most, too.” I grabbed the glass of wine and pushed it across the table before she could take another sip, and squeezed her hands, forcing her to look at me. “I’ll be okay. My heart will heal...eventually. It always does. Don’t worry about me.”
“But how can I not? You’re my best friend, my sister, the kindest person I know,” Sylvie said. “I saw how much that guy meant to you. You told me he was your first love. He didn’t have to go and give it away like that.”
I shrugged. “I’ll get over him, Sylvie.”
“It’s all my fault.”
“How is that all your fault?” I asked, frowning, unable to follow her train of thought.
She moistened her lips and shook her head with a crazy look in her eyes. “It was my job to keep him away from you.” She squeezed my hand so tight it almost hurt. “Brooke, I promise that I’ll kick his door in and cut off his fucking dick. I’ll make sure he’ll never, ever use it again.”
She looked so dead serious, I laughed out loud.
“No, you won’t.”
“Oh, I will,” she said with a deadpan face. “And you know what else?”
I shook my head and regarded her, amused.
“I’ll hook you up with a real guy. Someone sexy. Somebody who’ll make him eat his heart out. Together we’ll find you a new boyfriend, somebody much better than what’s-his-name.” She leaned forward. “You have to take charge, Brooke. You have to hurt him the way he’s hurt you, a leg for a leg.”
“You mean, an eye for an eye?” In spite of the gravity of the situation, I found myself smiling.
“Yeah, that’s it. Chick for a guy. Kiss for good sex. Whatever. By the time you’re done with him, he’ll be begging to get you back. Just promise me one thing.” Her voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. “Don’t ever let him into your panties again.”
I nodded, confident that I could keep that promise. “I won’t. I won’t even think about it.”
I was sure that would never happen again. But what about my dreams, my hopes, my wishes? My heart sank. Jett had cheated on me, and it hurt like hell, but sure as heaven, our time together hadn’t been bad. He had made me feel good—most of the time.
Okay, that was a lie.
He had always made me feel good, that is until he cheated on me. And he also made me feel safe like no other man had before. As much as I wanted to push him away, there was no guarantee that, sooner or later, my body wouldn’t yearn for his. It would start subtly, in my dreams, but as time progressed, it would get worse, until I’d see a little of him in every man who crossed my path. My subconscious mind would crave that time when I felt happy, safe, and in love. I prayed that before my subconscious took control, I’d meet someone new—someone who would replace him and would never let me down. And I hoped that special someone would give me the ability to control my sappy heart so that when I fell in love, I wouldn’t drown in feelings.
“Let’s go out.” Sylvie’s voice brought me back to reality.
“Maybe some other time,” I said. “Right now, all I want is some rest.” I smiled at her in the hope she’d understand. The day had left me exhausted, eager to find solitude in the confined space of my previous room.
“Sure, sweetie. Whatever you want,” Sylvie said, “but you owe me a girls’ night out.”
My smile widened at the idea of it: eating takeout, watching television, and laughing like schoolgirls until we couldn’t breathe. I hadn’t had one of those nights in ages and realized just I much I had missed it.
“Sounds great.” Following Sylvie’s advice, I headed for my room and collapsed into bed, ignoring the cell phone beckoning me from the nightstand.