“Fuck!” Rafe breathed as Elissa sobbed next to him. Darren placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it once.
“My wife?” I finally uttered.
“You can see her now.” The doctor led me to her.
I walked into her room and saw my little Addie lying on the gurney, her small body covered in tubes and an IV drip fixed to her arm. The room was clinical, sterile. “Addie.” I sat down next to her. She was lifeless as she lay there with her eyes closed.
“She’ll need to rest for now, and will wake up soon enough,” the doctor explained. I ignored his presence as I reached for her hand and held it. It was chilled to the touch. “I love you.” I sobbed softly. “I'm so sorry, Addie. I'm sorry,” I kept saying as I leaned down and rested my head near her. I wanted to hear her breathing; I wanted to make sure she at least was all right. The vibrant fighter, the one who would fight with me, yell at me, was here because of me. We lost our baby because of me and my world. Here I had promised her everything, yet I took it all away. Fuck, will Addie be like before? Would she break down and lose sight of who she was again? Closing my eyes, the bitter sting of my tears fell as I waited for her to wake.
I awoke to a soft hand caressing my head. “Daimon?” I heard her faint voice. I rose, searching her face. Her wondrous hazel eyes were red and tired as she tried to reach out to me. I took her hand and placed it over my mouth, kissing the inside of her palm softly.
“Addie…” I started.
“Daimon, is our baby okay?” she asked anxiously.
“First, let’s make sure the doctor checks you. I want to make sure you’re okay.” I reached for the call button.
“You don’t look good either,” she said quietly. “Your eyes are blood shot.”
“I’m fine, beloved. I’m just tired.” I offered her a faint smile, while inside, I was dying a slow death as I watched my Addie. I knew the moment I told her, she would fall apart. “I’ll go get the doctor.” I stood, my body listless as I made my way outside her room. I leaned up against the wall, and brought my hand to my mouth as I cried.
“Daimon?” Rafe came up to me, his face sullen. “I'm so sorry,” he offered.
“Mrs. Evans is awake?” the doctor finally came by.
“Yes,” I muttered, but caught him before he could enter. “Don’t tell her anything about the baby, not yet,” I ordered.
“Mr. Evans, I can’t do that. She has a right to know if she asks,” The young doctor insisted. My lips curled and my body lunged at him as I grabbed him by his scrubs, pinning him to the wall.
“You will do this,” I said low and controlled. “You will not break her heart. If anyone does it, it will be me.” I glared at him. I could see the murderous glare of my stare reflected in his eyes.
“Daimon, relax man,” Rafe said, attempting to calm me. “Ease off the doctor. He’s only doing his job.”
“Fuck his job. Just tell her she’s okay. Don’t mention the baby,” I hissed.
“And what if she does?” the doctor retorted as he pushed me away. “Then what?”
“Just ignore her,” I bit out. “Please.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Rafe interjected. “Daimon, you both lost something important—”
“Then what am I supposed to do? Just let her find out by the doctor. No Rafe, I’ll tell her,” I insisted.
I walked in with the doctor and I watched as he checked her, asking her a few questions. Addie wasn’t stupid; she acted like everything was okay, never once mentioning the baby. I stood at the foot of her gurney, the ice-cold expression of her face, the vacant eyes. I didn’t need to tell her. She already knew. The doctor stepped out leaving us alone.
“I want to go home,” she stated as she stared out the window.
“Not yet, but soon,” I answered.
“I lost the baby,” she whispered bluntly. I froze, my body not knowing how to react to her. “I guess it wasn’t mean to be,” she said again, still looking out the window.
“Addie, you did everything right. If anything, it was all my fault.” I lowered my eyes, not able to look at her. Addie didn’t say a word, not one. She laid there still, her silence screaming out her pain and anger and I wasn’t able to do a damn fucking thing. I stepped out of the room, not able to bear her unspoken words. I wandered to the waiting room; Elissa, Darren, Rafe and my father-in-law were still there.
“I'm so sorry,” Elissa sobbed as she wrapped her hands around me.
“It is your fault.” I heard Addie’s father say to me as Elissa let go. His hard stare filled me with shame. In grief, I collapsed onto the ground, kneeling before him. “You and your business did this to my daughter. She lost her baby, because of a grudge someone had for you!”