“She’s there. You just need to find her,” Daimon remarked. We sat quietly for a few minutes as I took in what he had said.
“So you were mad?” I asked.
“Fuck right I was. You were supposed to be great, better than me and what did I fucking see? A broken and listless Addie. No, that wasn’t my girl. My girl was a fighter, and fuck, were you ever. You fought and I realized how much you were hurting. I wanted to take it all away. I wanted to make it better. I did it all because I love you.”
“Why are you doing all this?” I asked, upset he was so easily able to win me back.
“Don’t ignore me when I call you. Say hi to me when you see me. Talk to me when I talk to you. Addie, for fuck’s sake, I love you so much. Please don’t push me away. I want to rebuild what I fucked up,” Daimon said, his eyes turning red.
“You can’t push me. Not now. You used me, Daimon. You used what was happening in my life to bring me to your side. I can’t let that go right now. I can’t see past that,” I admitted resentfully.
“I know,” he said sadly. “But I can at least try?” He smiled, but there was no humor. His face was sullen; his disposition seemed out of character as he tried testing uncharted waters. Daimon not able to control me was seemingly difficult for him. I looked across to the man I felt the closest too just a month ago, yet together in this tiny chic café and both of us were worlds apart.
“Thanks for the coffee, Daimon.” I stood. “But I think its best I go now.” I smiled faintly.
“Let me drive you home at least.” He rose up anxiously, towering over me.
“No. You go your way and I’ll go mine,” I muttered sadly as I walked out.
I left the coffee house, leaving both my heart and Daimon behind. What had happened with him derailed what I was planning for my future. For the first time in my life, I could finally look forward and I needed to do that. Not only for myself but those around me.
Trying
Daimon called every second day like clockwork asking to see me. I always said no, mostly because I feared being around him. I knew he was sorry. I understood his ridiculous excuses, but I was still angry at him and at myself for believing in him. Would I have done more for the people I love? Yes, I would have. That was why I understood him, but I still felt betrayed and deceived.
“I really would like it if you helped me out this time,” I begged Darren as I sat on a stool next to him.
“Why don’t you ask me?” Elissa said as she leaned down at the bar and pouted at me.
“Because I need someone with an existing business and you don’t have one,” I replied, sticking out my tongue.
“Why not ask Daimon? I’m almost sure he’d come running,” Darren said as he picked up his low-ball glass.
“No,” I bit out.
“Come on, Addie, what he did couldn’t be that bad. The guy is fucking crazy about you,” Elissa said lightly.
“Don’t you have clients? Or drinks to deliver?” I shooed her away.
“Hey, if you’re not careful, we’re not going out later.” She pointed her finger at me and narrowed her eyes.
“You can’t,” Jace said, placing a drink on her tray. “You’re already booked with me,” he said roughly.
“Oh, I guess someone has some explaining to do,” I teased.
“Shut up!” she huffed and left.
“We’re dating,” Jace said nonchalantly.
“I know. It’s kind of hard not to.” I winked at him. “Please, Darren, I need to bring someone to this stupid MBA wine and cheese and I really would appreciate it if it were you,” I begged.
“Daimon is a better choice. Besides, you two are married. Look, Daimon didn’t tell me everything, but he told me he fucked up, which sorry to say, but I told you so.” Darren raised his glass.
“Yeah, thanks,” I grumbled. “Daimon can go screw himself,” I said under my breath.
“He loves you and you love him. I’m not quite sure what he did. Knowing him it’s pretty big, but I know you enough to realize I’ve never seen you this way before. You’re confident and walk around with your head held high. Finally.”
“Aren’t you…” I began.
“Supposed to pine for you? I did and I still am, but I can’t win over what Daimon has done and the way you feel for him. He’s a part of you now,” he said seriously.
“I just really need a friend to help me out not to lecture me,” I scoffed.
“I’ll go,” he relented.
I stood outside the main building of the university waiting for Darren. He was late. I kept checking my watch and it was fifteen minutes after the time we said we’d meet.