The Love Triangle(69)
“Ciara, my sweet Ciara, it’s going to be okay. I always tell you that and it always does, doesn’t it?”
She felt his arms around her and she clung to him, burrowing her head in the crook of his arm as he held her tight. She was safe, at least for the moment. She was safe with Derek, always with Derek. She cried until there was nothing left. She needed more and wanted to feel something good.
She looked up at him lying beside her and knew this was a moment she would regret if she didn’t take it. She reached up to him and pulled him to her, kissing him. She felt his resistance at first but as he returned her kisses, he soon became lost in the sensations they created between them. He trailed kisses down her face and neck and she arched up to meet them. He cradled her head in his hands.
“Ciara, are you sure?” He whispered it to her, searching her face.
“Yes, I’m sure… please,” she pleaded and he needed no further encouragement.
She felt the coolness of the air as he stripped her free of her clothing. His hands were everywhere at once, touching, kissing and feeling her. She felt the shift in control as he loved her with abandon. She let herself go completely. She felt his hands run down her hips and she looked up at him as he followed his hands with his lips.
He left no skin untouched and moved with graceful movements despite the fever they had created between them. She felt him kiss a trail down her thighs and legs. She wanted him more than anything at the moment. He climbed her legs once more, nipping the skin as he went. She felt him dip lower and she felt the stubble of his chin brush against her most sensitive area. She opened up to him and he moved between her thighs. She moaned loudly as he plunged into her wet heat, tasting and loving her. He moved in determined circles over her flesh. She climbed the peak more and more as his movements increased. She felt exposed to him as he spread her wider and wider still to be able to taste of her fully. Soon the sweet rush filled her body as she crested the ultimate peak of desire.
“Derek, please.” She looked down at him, still moving still tasting her.
He rose then, trailing kisses along her thighs. She felt his hands under her, gripping her tightly as he lifted her off the bed. She felt him kiss her gently there once more before he positioned himself to enter her slowly. The feeling was heavenly as he stretched her to accommodate his size.
He moved slowly and carefully to ease into her over and over again. He wanted it as much as she did. She watched his face as he moved slowly and achingly. He took great time in his movements. She was climbing once more and wanted all of him. She moved her hips up to meet his and she felt his body shudder slightly. The tempo increased as he put her hips back down on the bed and laid the length of him on her body. Her knees were by her head as he leaned forward. He flicked his tongue over the peaked nipples pointing into the air.
She moaned as he sucked on each one harder as he pushed into her, their hips grinding together. He was plummeting into her over and over, pushing and taking. The sound of their skin slapping and pounding into each other was numbingly perfect. She wanted to feel his desire and know he wanted her. She looked up at him as she crested another wave...
“Ciara…” he hissed out her name and kissed her as they both hit the glorious peak together.
He groaned loudly as he spilled himself into her. He held her there, just like that. His body was too heavy but she wanted it, wanted the closeness of him on her. She felt him roll off of her and off the bed. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of him still. She felt the coolness of something on her and looked down as he used a cloth to wipe her off. She languished in his ministrations. He was gentle as he cleaned all of her and then himself and moved to lie beside her on the bed. She closed her eyes, once more letting herself enjoy the feel of him there. She knew he would want to talk, she knew it was necessary. For the moment though, she just wanted him.
Chapter Fifteen – Derek
He didn’t want to speak, didn’t want to say a word. What they had shared was perfect, and he knew more than ever that it was right. She belonged with him. There was always some reason they couldn’t make it work. She wouldn’t want to talk, she would want to run but not that time. No, he wanted to know what she felt, what she needed. She was furious with him about the money, but she would be fine. He wanted her safe, how did she not see how important she was to him. To what length even he didn’t know.
He pulled her closer to him, he felt rested, content with her. He was aware of her apprehension and he felt her change even before she moved. He let her go as she pulled away and sat up.
“Don’t, Ciara,” he requested quietly.
She slipped back on her shirt and turned to look at him. “Don’t what, Derek?” He frowned. He expected her to be upset or angry, not this… indifference.
“Is this how it’s going to be with us, Ciara? You can’t keep fighting me on this.” He stood and moved around the room to face her.
She folded her arms. “I don’t know what this is, Derek. We seem to go around and around all the time. We want to rip each other’s clothes off one minute and then rip into each other the next moment. Nothing about this is healthy.” She sighed as she pulled on her clothes.
“Don’t you want to figure out why? You came here to yell at me and instead we made love. This isn’t a simple situation, I want to know why, how can you not?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I want to avoid the heartbreak that comes with this between us. I’m not sure why we are so drawn to each other, or why we seem to infuriate each other either. When we are friends, when we just keep it that way, we seem to do the best, it’s finding a way to keep it that way that’s the problem.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know how to do that, Ciara, that’s just it. Don’t know how to see you and not want to touch you.”
“That’s why I said what I did. I just need to go, away from here… away from you. It’s what’s best for us both. You can move on, find someone more fitting for your lifestyle.” She pulled on her shoes as she spoke.
He was pacing. “What does that mean Ciara, “more suited?” Why do you always think you’re not suited for me?”
She stood and faced him. “Answer me this, Derek, has anyone else you had here ever gone through what I went through today? Anyone else escorted out of the building?” He paused. “Exactly my point.”
She made her way to the door.
“The money… it’s too much, Derek. I have no choice but to keep working but make it right, please. I don’t need to feel like you’re paying me for anything other than what I do at your job.”
He put a hand on the door to keep her from leaving. “Do you ever think, Ciara, maybe running isn’t the issue? Maybe staying is… seeing where this goes may be the right choice?” He waited and watched.
“I can’t, Derek, I just can’t.” She left. He felt sadness rise up, threatening to do something stupid like go after her. He watched her from the window and was thankful her car started. She was so damn stubborn she couldn’t see how much he wanted to be with her.
Chapter Sixteen – Ciara
She was always crying, it seemed. She had left him there, walked out without saying a word about the truth. She knew she was in love with him, but he was always pushing for more than she could give. Her past kept her from happiness and until she found a way around it, there was nothing she could do.
He needed some beautiful woman on his arm, not someone like her. She knew they came from different places. It would never work. He had asked if she had ever considered staying. Did that mean he wanted her to? Either way, it was for the best. She pulled in and made her way up the stairs to get Antoine and order pizza to celebrate Mom’s first big paycheck.
He was still withdrawn, but the evening was more fun than they’d had together in a while. She asked about school and was surprised that he didn’t want to talk about it. He used to love discussing it, talking about his latest projects. He wasn’t willing to share anything with her anymore and it worried her. She would have to set up something with the teacher next week and see if he was having a hard time with anything. She got him settled in bed and was shocked to realize that she still had a few more tears to shed after she went to bed herself. It would get better soon, she had to believe that.
The sun was shining Monday as they made their way to the school. She waved at him as he went into class but he refused to be embarrassed by his mom being there. She bit into her thumb as she made her way back home. She had to be at work in an hour. She showered and made her way to work, desperately trying to forget about the last few days.
For a couple of weeks, things seem to be going well. Her paycheck was less, although not as low as she wanted. She accepted it as opposed to confronting him about it again. They had made some type of peace with one another and avoided any run ins. She worked hard but was often gone before he had a chance to pass by or see her. Maybe she would be able to move past him one day, but it still hurt to think about how life was passing her by.