“Rosa?” I called. There was no answer. I shifted to the edge of the bed and hung my legs over the side. I was still wearing my suit and my body was stiff and uncomfortable.
“Rosa!” I called again. Somewhere a vacuum cleaner hummed at an annoying pitch. There was an empty whiskey tumbler and half a glass of wine on my nightstand. I smelled the wine, and my stomach turned.
I got off the bed and stumbled toward the bathroom where I climbed out of my suit and left it in a crumpled mess on the floor. With just my boxers on I stuck my head under the tap in the sink and turned the cold water on full.
The cold was a shock and rivulets of water ran all the way round onto my cheeks before streaming into the basin. My head screamed at me. What the hell happened last night?
I turned off the water and threw a towel over my head, pressing it against my wet skin. I was way too sensitive to rub my face and my hair dry.
I walked down the passage in my boxers with the towel still on my shoulders and around my ears. The whole house was so damn bright, I wanted Rosa to draw all the curtains, switch off all the light, just make it dark.
I wandered through the house and finally found Rosa in the lounge. One of the maids was vacuuming and the sound sliced through me.
“Shut that damn thing off!” I shouted. I had to scream twice before anyone heard me, and the sound finally died down, giving way to silence and the hum in my own ears.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked Rosa. She looked at me like the answer was supposed to be obvious.
“We are cleaning, Mr. Wilson,” she said.
I looked at her. “Why was I still in my suit?”
“You fell asleep,” she said like that was supposed to be some sort of answer. I was getting angry, but the rise in my blood pressure made my head thunder. I turned around and walked out of the room.
When I knocked on Grace’s door, there was silence. I knocked again, and then I pushed it open. The bed was made, and the red dress she’d worn the night before hung in its plastic sleeve on the door handle. I spotted a note on the bed.
Gone shopping, be back later
I squinted at the note. With it in my hand, I found Rosa again.
“Gone shopping?” I asked her, waving the note in front of her face. “Shopping for what?”
Rosa shrugged and looked around the room, everywhere but at me. “I don’t know, sir,” she said. “I didn’t ask.”
“Did she take the car?” I asked.
Rosa hesitated a moment before she shook her head. I narrowed my eyes at her. Something was off. I didn’t know what it was, but something was very off. Grace hadn’t gone anywhere by herself since the accident. I’d driven her, or whoever she’d wanted to see had come here. It didn’t sound right to me.
“Did she call for a taxi?” I asked.
“Why don’t you phone her, and ask her?” Rosa said. I turned my back on her and walked to my office. My fingers were trembling and I felt like I was unraveling. I picked up the phone and hit speed dial.
Her phone rolled over to voicemail straight away. I tried again and again. Her phone wasn’t on. I sat down at my desk and pressed the heel of my hand against my forehead. My head was so damn heavy, and I felt shaky. I was coming undone. I was falling apart, and I had to get this shit sorted if I wanted anything to work out right for me.
I remembered what had happened yesterday, why I’d started drinking so much. I’d almost hurt Grace again. I didn’t mean to, but she didn’t trust me and that made me so angry. How was I supposed to start over if she wasn’t going to trust me? She had absolutely no reason to question me. All that had gotten lost in the accident.
There were still days I wondered if the accident was really such a bad thing. It was a shame that she got hurt, but it was a second chance.
I felt out of breath. I tried to breathe in deeply and my chest hurt. I put a hand on my chest and focused on just breathing. In. Out. In. Out.
It didn’t help. I still felt like I was suffocating.
I leaned down, lifted up the desk with my hand and my shoulder to get to the key underneath the drawers. I unlocked the bottom drawer and pulled out the manila folder Kyle had given me. He’d contacted me again when I was in Miami, but I’d said no. I had wanted to do things right for Grace.
But doing the right thing wasn’t the right thing for me. Without the alcohol, without the drugs, I was getting worse and worse. It was the only way I knew how to keep a handle on things. Everyone had their coping mechanisms.
The white powder was fine when I tore the packet open, and a puff of white floated into the air. I drew a thin strip across my desk and found the short straw I used. Just once. Just for now. As soon as I had everything under control I was locking it away again. I wasn’t an addict, I just need a pick-me-up.
The powder was uncomfortable in my nose and I fought the urge to sneeze. I tipped my head back, stretched my face and breathed deep through my nose, blowing air out again through my mouth.
It didn’t take long before I felt the high coming on. It was fast enough for me to feel better almost right away. I felt energized again, not a lethargic mess. I was Elijah Wilson, owner of Magna Solutions, and the man of Grace’s dreams. Everything else was just an afterthought. I put the drugs away, burying the key underneath the table again before I left the office.
Cocaine in my blood made me feel great. I was happy. I was energetic. I was strong. I was the boss. But there was irritation, too, running in a very fine line underneath it all. I marched to the bedroom and put on black jeans and a collared shirt. My phone rang. It was the office.
I looked at the screen until the ringing stopped.
When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t recognize myself. I looked like a strung-out version of myself. My eyes looked wild and crazed, with pupils that seemed too big. I turned away from it. I didn’t have to look if I didn’t want to.
I walked into the kitchen and found Rosa there, overseeing the silver polishing.
“Where is she?” I asked.
“Shopping,” Rosa answered.
I stepped closer to Rosa and grabbed her arm. Her face turned to me and her eyes were wide. She stared at me, sawing her jaw open and closed. She was scared of me. She’d seen what I could do.
Good.
I needed her to be scared of me. Maybe she would give me answers.
“I don’t know where she is,” she said and her voice was thin and on the verge of a sob. “She left, she wasn’t happy.”
“She left me?” I asked. My voice was low. I couldn’t put the thought together in my mind. Rosa was whimpering and blubbering so I let her go. She tumbled to the ground like I’d pushed her.
I left the house and walked to my car. I sped out of the driveway, nearly hitting the gate pillar, honking my horn at a car that had slammed on the brakes right in front of my gate.
Shonda’s house was on the other side of town. When I got there, the front door was open. I hammered on the door and stormed inside without waiting for an invitation. Shonda jumped up from the couch when she saw me.
“Where is she?” he asked.
“What?”
“Grace, where the fuck is she?”
“Woah, calm down, Elijah. She’s not here. Is something wrong?” Her calming voice just annoyed me. I wasn’t here to sit down and cry on someone’s shoulder. I was here to find Grace, and stop her from doing something she was going to regret.
“You’re hiding her,” I said, the thought suddenly dawning on me. “You’ve always been on her side. You’ve been playing me, haven’t you? Made me think you’re all for her relationship with me?”
“What are you talking about?” she asked.
“Don’t you dare!” I shouted at her. She cowered back from me, tripping against the couch and going down so that she was sitting again. She scrambled back.
“She’s not here, I swear!” she cried. I narrowed my eyes at her.
“If I find out you’re lying…” I turned around and stormed out without completing the threat. But I would find her, and I would make her sorry that she ever tried to swindle me. I didn’t have time for two-faced people that only had their best interest in mind. If I found Grace I was going to teach her what love should be like, what loyalty means. She can’t stick to one man to save her life. And we were going to change all that.
My hands were trembling again. I held one hand in front of my face and watched my fingers dance without me doing anything. But I felt fine. I felt more than fine. A little angry, but I was on the ball. On the damn ball.
I found my phone and found Kyle’s number in the phone book.
“You’re a man of favors, aren’t you, Kyle?” I said into the phone when he answered.
“I do them from time to time. But they’re not cheap.”
“Money means nothing,” I said. “I need you to get here and help me track someone down. If she gets away there will be hell to pay. I want to stop that before it happens.”
“Are you talking about a hit?” he asked.
“No, you idiot. I don’t want her dead. I just want her back. She’s given me the slip.”