As a last ditch effort, I pick up my cell and call Sam.
She answers sounding happy. “Hey-O!”
“Sammie. I need a favor.”
Suddenly leery, she pauses for a hit of her cigarette. “What?”
“Our mutual friend Olivia has a flat tire and is in need of assistance.”
“Aw shucks.” She feigns disappointment. “If only I wasn’t in the middle of a project at work, I would so do it. Gosh, I wish I could be there for you on this.”
“Whatever, ass.”
“I’d love to help.”
“And I’d love to be able to pawn her off onto you.”
Laughing, she says goodbye and I follow Susannah out the door.
Sliding behind the wheel, she glares at me. “That wasn’t very nice.”
“What wasn’t very nice?”
“Making fun of Olivia with Sam.”
“I’m not a very nice person.”
“Olivia is a wonderful woman and you and Sam are always assholes to her.”
“Olivia is not a wonderful woman and Sam are I are not assholes to her. We simply choose not to be in her company for longer than is absolutely necessary.”
She ignores me as she starts maneuvering the dirt road from my house. With a deep rut on one side and overgrown brush on the other, my road can be damn near impassable in some cars. During the rainy season, Sam loads cement into the back of her truck, and even then, it doesn’t always make the hill. It has been inconvenient at times to have to trek two miles up a mud road on foot, but it’s worth it to me to live in a place that discourages visitors.
When we make it to the paved road, Susannah sighs. “I really wish the government would pave your road.”
I watch her guide the jeep over a particularly huge rut in the road. “Why would they? I’m the only one at the top of it and I don’t raise a fuss. Why spend the money for one quiet taxpayer?”
“There’s shovel guy,” Susannah says, laughing.
“The road is paved most of the way to his driveway. Plus, I don’t think he really cares that much about modern conveniences.”
“Either way, it’s a pain in the ass.”
“You have a jeep.”
“Yeah, and it used to look pristine before I had to drive to your house.”
“I moved to the top of a hill to discourage visitors.”
She smiles. “Nothing can keep me from seeing my loving sister. Even if I sometimes have to drive you to the grocery store.”
“Small price to pay for me paying your cell phone every month.”
She nods. “Yeah, good point.”
Stopping behind a herd of goats that are blocking the road, Susannah grimaces. “Sometimes I think about moving back to the States.”
“Hey ladies.” A group of men in a pickup truck swerves around us and pushes forward into the goats. One of the goats is hit by the truck and the rest run, bleating, to the sides of the road. The truck roars through and a beer can hits the hood of the jeep as the truck roars off. Susannah flinches as the can bounces up onto the windshield and off the side. She looks at the goat in the road in front of us.
“Dana, go see if it’s dead.”
There’s no point in even arguing. Stomping toward the possibly dead goat, I pause for a moment to glance back at my sister. She’s staring straight ahead, blinking furiously. I know what that means. She’s on the verge of tears and if this goat is dead, the rest of her day will be ruined. Approaching the goat cautiously, I stare at it for a few minutes trying to see if it is breathing. Another goat, embolden by curiosity or perhaps hunger walks up to me and starts chewing on my shorts. I yank the fabric out of its mouth and reach down for the other goat.
“Meh!” It rears its head up and bleats in my face. Half-screaming, I fall back, tripping over the other goat. Sitting on my ass in a pothole filled with mud, I glare back at the jeep. Susannah is indeed in tears, but this time, it’s because she’s laughing too hard to hold them in. Both of the goats have run back to join the herd at the side of the road making their annoying little goat noises. I make a mental note to stop sending money to PETA. This is all Olivia’s fault. I yank myself up and angrily brush as much mud off my shorts as possible. Fuck it, anyway. If Susannah’s jeep seat gets ruined, I won’t shed a tear.
She’s still laughing as we pull past the goats and onto the main highway in town. Of course, when I say highway, I really mean a big paved road with a high speed limit, several traffic lights, and potholes that are only slightly less dangerous than the ones on my road. Susannah tools along watching the side of the road until she sees Olivia’s little red Ford Focus. A Focus. Seriously. She might as well just drive it off the side of the road and leave it there. Half the potholes are as big as the car.