The Love Sucks Club(70)

Sam is still staring at me with her mouth hanging open, but on realizing that I’ve stopped talking, she blinks several times. Clearing her throat, she makes an attempt to speak. Her mouth opens, but nothing comes out. Clearing her throat again, she finally speaks. “So, you had sex with Esmé?”

Unable to respond, I stare at her for a second. She smiles and then we are both laughing hysterically until neither one of us can breathe. Suddenly, I can’t catch my breath and Sam is hugging me while I gasp for air and cry hard on her shoulder. She rocks slightly with me in her arms, quietly holding me until I gain control of myself again. When I’ve regained control of myself again, I pull away, leaving a string of snot between my nose and her shirt. She looks down on it, wipes it off with her hand, and rubs her hand against the leg of her shorts.

“Sorry about that,” I say, staring down at my feet.

“What’s a little snot between friends?”

“You thought it was a booger, but it’s snot,” I grin.

“And people think I’m the immature one in this relationship,” she says, rolling her eyes.

“I was drunk one night and I had a vision of Fran dying. Right there in the car, I saw the blood coming down her face and somehow, I knew that I had killed her.”

“But you didn’t kill her,” she says, calmly.

“I know that now. Or, at least, I sort of know that. It’s all jumbled up in my head. I remember her talking to me about the lights and the orbs and her people coming to take her home, but I never really took her seriously. I mean, I knew she was a little crazy, but that was part of her charm.”

“Maybe she wasn’t crazy.”

Lifting my head, I stare at her. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, maybe she really was seeing aliens and orbs and being taken home.”

Snorting, another bubble of snot comes out of my nose. I wipe it off with the back of my hand and wipe my hand on my shorts. “Sam,” I say. “That’s pretty rich coming from you.”

“I’m just saying that there is no way of knowing whether it really happened or if it was all in her head. And, to tell you the truth, it doesn’t even matter.”

“Of course it matters.” Grabbing my stick, I stand up and start down the path again.

She runs after me and catches up, panting. “Jeeze, I gotta quit drinking so much. I’m getting out of shape.”

“Yeah, really. How can you have my back if you can’t even jog a few steps?”

“You’ll be all telling some bad dudes...you wanna step up? And I’ll be all...hang on, hang on, let me get my breath.”

Slowing down to a manageable pace, I smile at her. “I’m not really mad at you, you know.”

“I know, Dana. It’s a lot to handle. Maybe I didn’t say it right. I just meant that regardless of where Fran’s orbs came from, they were the reason that she died. And now you know that she died happy, leaping for joy to something she believed in, even if we can’t.”

I’m silent for so long that Sam touches me on the shoulder. “Dana?”

“I don’t know what to do next.”

“Let her go?”

My house comes into view through the woods and we step off the path and onto the road. A few drops of rain are starting to fall, but like most rain in the Caribbean, it’s warm. Wiping rainwater off her face, Sam looks up at the sky. “Locals say that when the rain is this warm, it means it’s going to be a bad hurricane season.”

“Give me a fucking break.”

Opening the door, I step into the kitchen. Esmé is sitting at the counter with a cup of coffee in her hands. Roxanne is next to her.

“Esmé,” I start. Momentarily at a loss for words, I look at Roxanne. “Rox,” I say. “This is...”

“Awesome,” Sam finishes.

She pushes me gently out of the way and heads for the coffee pot to refill her mug. Staring at Roxanne, I try to gauge how she’s feeling about this situation. To be fair, I’m not sure exactly how I feel about the situation. Esmé stands and comes over to me. I let her kiss me without kissing her back. Giving her a brief hug, I look over her shoulder at Roxanne who is pointedly looking the other direction. Oblivious, Sam brings her coffee over and sits down next to Rox.

“What are you doing here?”

Roxanne gives Sam a one-arm hug. “I walked over to see if Dana wanted to hike.”

Sam shrugs. “We just went for a walk, but I wouldn’t be opposed to taking another one.”

“Oh, wouldn’t that be fun,” Esmé intones.

I suddenly realize that Sam has no idea that Roxanne and I had a little thing the other day. She stands. “Come on. We can totally do this.”