The Love Sucks Club(7)
She waves in the direction of the herd of peacocks that live in my yard. “Peacocks are so cool.”
“They’re not cool. They’re a nuisance.”
She shrugs and caws at the birds before stepping inside.
“Come in,” I say, ushering her to the kitchen. “But you can’t stay long. I have a story due soon and I want to finish it today.”
Waving her hand, she dismisses me. “I’ll be quiet when you start working. You won’t even know I’m here.”
“I will know. That’s the point.”
“They’re working on the street in front of my apartment. The noise is unbearable. I’m just going to hang on your porch and get some sun.”
Sighing, I gather up some papers and offer her a seat at the counter. “Why don’t you go hang at the beach and get some sun?”
“Because I won’t have a comfortable place to take a nap when I’m tired of it?”
Giving up, I pour water for both of us and sit down across the island from her. “Is that my shirt?”
She looks down at herself. “Uh, I guess. Yours or Olivia’s.”
“Please, we hardly have the same fashion sense. And that isn’t pink.”
“Don’t be so judgmental. Not everything she owns is pink.”
She’s successfully sidetracked me once again. I don’t get it. My straight sister, who is about twenty pounds thinner than I am and about a million times more girlie, still manages to steal my clothes on a regular basis. Her boobs are a lot bigger than mine, so maybe it evens out. At any rate, she’s got that new man glow that I’ve seen so many times before. “So, who’s the new man?”
She grins. “His name is Thomas and he’s very sweet.”
“Married?”
She pauses. “No, definitely not.”
“Definitely not as in you know for sure, or definitely not as in you don’t know for sure?”
“Jeeze, Dana. Give me a break. He’s not married, okay?”
“I’m just sayin’.”
“Jack told me he was single. How was I supposed to know?”
My sister has a habit of dating the world’s most obnoxious men. Jack was actually a pretty good one in comparison to most of her boyfriends. The one before that was a wanted felon.
“Anyway,” she ignores my pointed silence. “Thomas is a sweetheart. He works at the bank and he’s friends with Lori’s brother.”
“Aw well, I didn’t realize he came with a pedigree.”
She ignores me to answer her cell phone. Giving her privacy, I go back to the porch and position myself in front of my computer. With Susannah around, I have to take every moment I can possibly get. She follows me out a few minutes later and stands awkwardly in the doorway. Pretending that I don’t realize she’s there, I continue to type, letting her squirm. Finally, she clears her throat.
“What, Susannah?”
“Olivia blew a tire on the Frank Court Highway. We need to go help her.”
Tapping my fingers on the side of my keyboard, I count to ten. Olivia Parker is the very embodiment of everything I dislike about human beings. She is filled with nothing but drama. Everything that happens is cause for horrific tears and weeks of bitter complaint. She and Sam had sex once, many years ago, and to this day, she still complains that Sam didn’t call her after. In Sam’s defense, she said that Olivia complained so much during the act that Sam almost called it off at the midway point. I still have vivid and terrifying memories of the time that she twisted her ankle on the beach in front of The Cottage. The horrified owner probably still has nightmares about her berating him about the slippery rocks in front of his restaurant. Suppressing a shudder, I try to reason with my sister.
“Go get her. Take her to that tire place on Front St. Tell Hank that you need to buy a new set of tires, but you don’t know how to put on a spare to bring it in. I’m sure he’ll send someone back with you.”
“Come on, Dana. You know she doesn’t have the money to buy new tires now. We just need to go put the spare on so she can take the old one in to get a patch.”
I don’t know why I’m bothering to put up a fight. Somehow Sam and I have become the handymen for every single woman on this island. Not for the first time, I’m lamenting the shortage of capable men in our lives.
“Wait a minute. What about your new beau?” I’m grasping at straws because I really don’t want to leave my house today.
“Please. I just met him. I can’t call him to fix my best friend’s tire. Not until we’ve been dating for a couple of months at least.”