Olivia is standing in the hallway applying makeup in the mirror.
“Jesus, Olivia. It’s eighty-eight degrees. How long do you think that makeup is going to stay on your face?”
“Mind your style, Dana, such as it is, and I’ll mind mine.”
“Whatever.”
Stomping out to the living room, I gather up my keys, wallet, and cell phone and wander outside to wait next to the jeep. My cell rings as I close the door behind me.
“Hello?”
“Dana?”
“This is she.”
“It’s Esmé.”
Sighing, I consider pretending that I have a bad signal. “How are you?”
“I’d like to see you.”
“Well, I’ve got plans.”
“It doesn’t have to be today.”
“I have plans tomorrow too.”
I hear her sigh at the other end. “Look, Dana. I don’t mean you harm. I’m just looking for some answers.”
“And I’ve told you that I don’t have any answers for you.”
“Then let’s agree that we can just get together and talk about Fran. Maybe we can help each other.”’
“I don’t need help!”
Aware that Susannah and Olivia have come out of the house, I hold up a finger to let them know I need a minute.
“Look, I’ve got to go. I’ve got a thing.”
“So when can I see you?”
“I’ll see you at Rick and Karen’s party next week.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“That’s what you get.”
I hang up and launch myself into the back of the jeep. Susannah deftly swings the jeep around while Olivia complains that the top being down will ruin her hair. She pulls a bandanna out of her purse and wraps it around her head. Leaning against the back seat, I stretch my legs over the center console and cross my hands behind my head. The sun is shining, the wind is blowing my hair around, and I’m on my way to have dinner with my sister and my best friend. Life could be worse. Closing my eyes, I relax my neck and try to clear my mind.
I’m sitting on a blanket with Fran. She’s playing the ukulele, badly. If it was anyone else, I’d beg them to stop, but I love everything that Fran does. Her attention never stays in one place long enough to get particularly good at a thing. I found it for her at a flea market and couldn’t resist picking it up. Fran loved music and she wanted to know how to play everything. She could just make out recognizable noises on the uke after six months of practice. I had offered to buy her formal lessons, but she said she couldn’t possibly stand the discipline of having to show up to a regular appointment and have set practice pieces. There’s an ant crawling on her leg, so I reach over to scoop it off and set it to the side of the blanket. She smiles at me and my heart explodes. I’ve never felt like this before. When she smiles, I feel a warm wave of pressure move up from my stomach to my heart and my chest swells with an emotion that I can only describe as love, inadequate though the word seems. She looks at me as her fingers strum out the little tune. As I reach up to touch her face, she shifts slightly, and the glare of the sun from behind her head makes it difficult to see her face. Peering into the light, I’m convinced that all I can see is a skull – a Fran shaped skull sitting on top of her skinny shoulders. A shudder runs through my body and though the thought of touching her is suddenly repulsive, I reach out anyway. She shifts again and her face is back. I stroke it gratefully, blinking back tears. “Dana,” she says. “Am I going to die?” I tell her that we’re all going to die and she shakes her head, either to refute me or to show disdain for my petty answer. She says that she knows I’ve seen it happen, she can sense it. Trying to shield my emotions from her is useless. Somehow, she always seems to read me. “Dana,” she insists. “I want to know if you’ve seen me die.”
“Dana. Hey, Dana.” Susannah’s voice yanks me out of my dream or whatever it was. She’s standing next to the jeep, staring at my face. Olivia is applying fresh lipstick in the rear view mirror. The color of it has me fixated. It reminds me of something, but I can’t pull it into my head. “Dana,” Susannah calls again. “Wake up. We’re here.”
Forcing myself to come fully back, I sit up straight and pull myself over the wheel well of the jeep. “I must have fallen asleep.”
“Well, wake up. It’s time for dinner.”
“Hey, by the time Olivia finishes putting on her lipstick, we’ll be through the second course.”
“Ha ha, Dana,” Olivia says, slamming her lipstick into her purse and sliding out of the jeep. “You really crack me up.”