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The Love Sucks Club(51)

By:Beth Burnett


I find other people’s lives fascinating. I’m half-tempted to ask Nadia out for lunch so I can get her entire life story. “Is your sister still alive?”

“Oh yes,” she answers. “She just had her eightieth birthday.”

“Does she still work in the store?”

“Of course. She works a couple days a week. We’re winding down now. Neither of us is as young as we were.”

“Your daughter doesn’t want to take over the store?”

“No, not in the least. She lives in the States now. I have a son who might consider coming back after he retires, but that’s another fifteen years from now, and I somehow don’t see myself selling plastic penises at eighty-five.”

Sam approaches the counter with the men in tow as several more people enter the store. It’s time for me to stop taking up her time. Sam slams an armload of penis and vulva shaped ice trays on the counter and pulls her wallet out of her shorts.

“Sam, you have got to be kidding me.”

“Come on, it’ll be funny.”

“I want no part of this.”

“Don’t be such a spoilsport. I’m going to store them all in your freezer until the party.”

“Nadia, it was such a pleasure to meet you,” I say, holding out my hand to shake with her once more. She smiles warmly and tells me to come back anytime.

I introduce Nadia and Sam. When the men make it to the counter, I excuse myself to wait outside so I am not tempted to look at the basketful of merchandise that they have picked out. There are some things a person doesn’t need to know.

Standing on the sidewalk, I lean back against the building, waiting for the group to finish so we can move on. Maybe I should buy the sex shop and run it for the rest of my life. I’d meet a lot of interesting people. People shuffle by and many give me a second glance. Whether that’s because they recognize me or because I’m standing outside of an adult store wearing a cock t-shirt is hard to tell. I decide to make a game out of trying to make eye contact and smile at everyone who looks at me. Some of them smile back. Most cast their eyes away as soon as they know that I know they’re looking. I probably should have majored in sociology or psychology. I could have gotten a grant to study the social habits of humans within a small, closed in ecosystem. Minus the addition of several thousand tourists every day, the population is pretty small here. On the west end, it is pretty common for me to run into a handful of people I know whenever I go out. On this side of the island, it isn’t as likely. That said, there’s my ex-girlfriend sauntering along the sidewalk in front of me. She hasn’t seen me yet and I’m trying to decide if I should duck back into the shop or not. As I’m debating with myself, Sam and Manny come out of the shop and I turn toward them so my back is to my ex.

“Where’s Bob?”

Manny rolls his eyes. “He decided at the last minute to get three more pairs of undies because they were on sale. We left him debating on the colors.”

Sam holds up her bag. “I got all of the ice trays.”

“Don’t look, but she-who-shall-not-be-named is across the street.”

Of course Sam immediately looks. “Well, she’s not looking this way. She’s talking to someone in the doorway of that store.”

Half-turning, I move my head just enough to see her out of the corner of my eye. She isn’t looking in this direction at all. She’s engrossed in conversation with a long-haired woman in a flowing purple dress. The store is one I’ve been in a few times. It’s a new age type place. They sell crystals and tarot cards and the woman in the purple dress gives readings. Another woman offers reiki out of the same store. I can’t remember the purple dress lady’s name, but I remember she once sold me a book on lucid dreaming. She’s seems pretty legit, but I just can’t buy into a lot of the hokey stuff she sells.

“They seem to be pretty involved,” Manny says, as Bob comes out of the store, carrying two bags.

“Who seems involved?” Bob asks.

“My ex-girlfriend and that woman over there,” I answer.

“They’re involved?” Bob looks fascinated. “Oh, I love lesbian drama.”

“Not like that. I just think we can get away while they’re talking.”

“Without a doubt,” Manny says. He moves to the other side of me and his bulk almost completely obscures my ex from view. We all move as one in the direction of the boardwalk. When we are ready to turn the corner, I can’t resist looking back over my shoulder. She-who-shall-not-be-named is looking straight at me. I can feel the ice in her glare all the way over here. I swear several minutes pass as we stare at each other and in that span of time, I can feel a hand gripping my chest, pulling the air out of my lungs. Sam puts her hand on my arm and the spell is broken.