The Love Sucks Club(46)
Over on the other side of the bar, one of the local drunks is swaying precariously at the jukebox. Michael Jackson blasts from the speakers and Sam immediately lifts her arms in the Thriller dance. Roxanne hums along. Leaning back in my chair, I can just make out a group of drinkers in a corner table doing shots. It’s a pretty dull crowd for The Pit, but then, it is quite early.
It’s time for me to get this party started. “So, The Love Sucks Club comes to order yet again.”
“Wait. I have to interrupt.” Roxanne looks serious.
“What’s going on?”
“I’m going to have to leave the club,” she says, completely straight-faced.
“What?” Sam looks shocked. “You can’t. If you leave, it will just be Dana and I sitting here complaining to ourselves.”
Laughing, Roxanne leans out of the way as our waitress brings our drinks. “Sam, come on. That’s all we do anyway. We get together and complain about love.”
“Well, Roxanne.” I’m using a voice one might use to explain the color of the sky to a four year old. “We are called The Love Sucks Club. It rather makes sense that our main topic of conversation would be the suckiness of love.”
“That’s my point,” she replies. “We’re setting ourselves up to fail at having a positive attitude. Okay, the name is cute and all. I just don’t want to be part of something that indicates that anything sucks. Anything at all. Yes, there is suckiness in the world and in our own lives. We don’t have to go looking for it.”
Sighing, I slam a big gulp of water and slam my glass down on the table. “Oh Roxanne. I just can’t believe you’re breaking up with us.”
“I’m not breaking up with you. I’ll still hang out with you two. Just not under this premise.”
“So let me get this gay,” Sam interjects. “If we change our name to something like the We Have Hope Club or the Let’s All Believe in a Better World Club, you’ll still be part of it?”
“I don’t know that the name of the club is truly the point.”
“I guess I see the point,” I add. “We’re all a little too old to have a club.”
“Exactly,” Roxanne says. “If we want to get together and go do things or collect money for charities or take SCUBA lessons or anything like that, I would love to do it. This sitting around in a bar talking about love sucking is depressing.”
“Still, it’s not like it’s doing anyone any harm.”
“I think it is doing harm to all of us.”
Sam shifts some of our drinks to make room for the pizza which appears to have the correct toppings. “All right. Here’s my counter offer.”
Roxanne snorts. “Okay, let’s hear it.”
“We will table the motion of changing the name of the club until next week.”
“And then what,” Roxanne says, grinning. “We take a vote? We cast an anonymous ballot?”
“Well, it will give me a week to think of a winning argument that will keep you in our club without changing the name of it.”
Glass breaking across the bar catches our attention. I look up to see Olivia standing next to her bar stool, mopping at her skirt with a napkin.
“Looks like someone couldn’t hold her liquor,” Sam whispers.
“Literally,” I reply.
Roxanne stands and sweeps off toward Olivia.
“Ah Jesus. You know, she really doesn’t belong in the Love Sucks Club,” Sam says.
“I know. She’s too good for the likes of us.”
“You like her, though. I mean, really like her.”
“There’s a connection. I just don’t see how it would work. When I’m her age, she’ll be eighty. That’s a big difference.”
Roxanne has her arm around Olivia and is talking to her while the porn star continues to slouch on his stool.
“She just better not bring her over here,” Sam states. “I...aw...shit.”
“Your wish is her command,” I laugh, as Roxanne walks Olivia over to our table.
“I’m joining your stupid club,” Olivia says, slamming into a chair.
“Hell no,” Sam says. “It’s for homos only.”
“Sam!” Roxanne is affronted. “No it isn’t. Of course Olivia can join.”
“Two minutes ago, you wanted to disband us.”
Taking advantage of the quarrel to grab the last piece of pizza, I lean back in my chair and watch the fireworks. I can tell from long experience that Sam is seriously annoyed.
“Well, now that we have another member, we are more like a club and less like three losers sitting around in a bar.”