“Actually,” I continue, “Esmé feels the same way.”
“She’s new agey,” Sam protests. “Of course she wants you to move into your visions or whatever the hell it is.”
Laughing, I put my arm around her shoulders. “What do you think I should do?”
“I think you should go to the doctor and have them check you out. If this started with heart attack symptoms, you should already be in the hospital.”
“It wasn’t a heart attack. It was a panic attack.”
“You can’t know that for sure.”
I debate about how much to tell her. I know that Sam’s belief only goes so far. She trusts me and she knows that I wouldn’t lie to her. So, she wrestles with her skepticism about things beyond the “norm” of the world and the fact that her best friend has dealings with the spirit world.
“The panic attacks and the visions are connected. I think the panic attacks are my body’s reaction to the visions. Either that or the vibrations coming through are too intense for me to handle so I react physically, either with the panic attack or passing out.”
Trying not to look at Sam, I stare over the side of the mountain at the sea. As far as geographic cures go, this was a pretty smart move. Still, I’m starting to wonder if I got far enough away. Maybe my sister had the right idea in escaping to the other side of the world.
We pause at a thumping noise coming through the woods. It sounds like a herd of goats. Scanning the woods, I listen to the sound of hooves getting louder. They sound heavy, but then, goats can sound like elephants when they are crashing through the woods. Sam is grinning. She’s probably remembering Susannah’s retelling of my last goat encounter. Finally, the animals push out of the tree line and I realize it isn’t goats. It’s three men on horseback. Sam tenses beside me, but her face remains perfectly calm. The men pull up short when they see us. Horses are pretty popular around here, but they aren’t well cared for. These three look skinny and dull. It’s hard not to judge people by the condition of their animals. Sam’s shoulder muscles are tight and I can tell she’s worried. The men are ignoring us, circling around to the other side of the clearing. Dismounting, they tie their horses to a tree and wander in our direction. Sam’s hand goes into her pocket. I’m not worried. They look innocuous enough.
The shortest one, a college looking guy with glasses and longish hair, steps forward. “Hey, ladies. What’s going on?”
At least he pegged us both as women. Sam has been called “Sir” more times than I can count, and while I have long hair, I have occasionally been subjected to the gender police in women’s bathrooms.
Sam nods and I smile. “What’s up with you?”
“Well, we were just wondering if you wanted to smoke a joint with us.”
Sam relaxes her muscles as I chuckle. “Thanks boys, but we’re fine.”
“Aw, come on,” one of them wheedles. “We love hanging out with lesbians.”
“Oh yeah,” the third one says. He’s the only one who looks a little seedy, but he doesn’t scare me. He looks more like that guy who gets trashed in the bar and spends an inordinate amount of time trying to convince you that he really is a lesbian trapped in a man’s body.
The first guy, the college looking one, shrugs. “Well, y’all are missing out.”
The third guy steps forward a little and reaches out like he intends to touch my shoulder or something. Sam grabs his hand and whips out her knife. “I don’t want to hurt anyone,” she says. “But I will if I have to.”
Seedy guy snatches his hand away. Whining, he says, “I didn’t mean anything. I was just going to pat her shoulder.”
“She isn’t a puppy.”
The other two guys are grabbing seedy guy and coaxing him to leave it alone. He turns away and then turns back around. “You’re just a man hating dyke,” he spits out.
Sam holds up the knife again. “I may not be able to win a fight against all three of you, but I guarantee you that I will take your balls off before you can kill me.”
The other two yank on his arms and they go back to their horses. As they are riding away, the jerk raises his middle finger and holds it up until they disappear back into the woods. When they’re completely gone, I whip around to glare at Sam who is laughing hysterically.
“Oh what?” She blinks innocently. “Come on. That was funny!”
“Yeah, it’ll be really funny when you get us killed one of these days.”
“That guy was going to grab you.”
“He was harmless. He was doing that creepy shoulder pat thing. Yeah, it’s gross, but he wasn’t going to hurt me.”