“NO! She deserves to feel this!” He crouched down in front of me. “I wish it was you! You should be dead, not Jewel!”
“You’re right!” I bawled. “It should have been me, and God, I wish it was because then I wouldn’t be so fucking alone! Charlie was the only real family I had, and he’s gone, and at least if I had died with him I wouldn’t have to face this, or you! I’ve carried this with me since that night Dane, and I would give anything to trade places with Jewel, but you forget that I lost her too!” I swallowed hard, trying to gain some semblance of control before carrying on. “She was my best friend, and no matter what anyone says, Charlie loved her, so fucking much.”
“They should have never been together!” He bellowed. “She’d still be here if it weren’t for him!”
My eyes blurred, and I almost choked on my sobs, but I surged forward. “They were leaving that night. Jewel was pregnant and they wanted to be together, but they knew our parents would have never allowed it. So they left-”
“And Jewel is never coming back because of Charlie! He deserves to be six feet fucking under!”
I wailed as Dane flung my arm to the floor, and I fell into heap on the cold floor. I lifted my head in time to see Jade slap Dane across the face.
“You are the only monster here, Dane! You are so selfish that you fail to see how Kennedy has lost just as much as you have. She lost two people that night, and you’re here telling her you wish she were dead? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Dane’s chest heaved, and something in his gaze registered. His face paled, and he took a step towards me. Jade pushed him back. “Go anywhere near her, and I’ll personally kick your ass. You’ve done enough, now get out!”
He hesitated briefly, his eyes filled with so much anguish, hatred, and pain. With one final glance in my direction, he spun around, and stormed out. I inhaled a ragged breath, but it hurt. It hurt to breath after his cruel words.
It should have been you in that car, not Jewel! Your brother should have taken your life with his, and not hers!
“Jesus,” Jade dropped to the floor next to me, “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
She had no idea just how much.
He’d completely obliterated me.
One.
Fractured.
Piece.
At.
A.
Time.
I lifted myself up on shaky arms, and Jade helped me from the floor. I saw that she was crying too, but I couldn’t comfort her.
“You’re not alone,” she said with a sniffle. “I love you. I’m your family, Kennedy. I always will be.”
I wanted to say I know and I love you too but the words were stuck somewhere, and I nodded briefly instead.
She helped me to my room, and eased me onto my bed. I looked around, suddenly feeling out of place, like I didn’t belong here, while Dane’s words replayed over and over and over again in my head.
I wish it were you! You should be dead, not Jewel!
Your brother should have taken your life with his, and not hers!
And Jewel is never coming back because of Charlie! He deserves to be six feet fucking under!
It should have been you in that car, not Jewel!
What I needed to do next became clear, but I had to wait.
As soon as it was nightfall and Jade was asleep, I’d leave. I needed to get out of here, but I didn’t want her to convince me otherwise.
I MOVED AROUND my room quietly, shoving some clothes, and essentials into a small overnight bag. I slipped one of my brothers’ old hoodies over my head, and tugged my bag over my shoulder. I tiptoed my way through the apartment, cringing when my sneakers made a squeaky sound. It was still pouring outside, the relentless downpour and stormy clouds casting a heavy darkness on everything in sight.
I crept out the front door, and ran through the rain until I was in the safety of my Jeep. I had a long drive ahead of me, but I would use the time to think, and clear my head before I showed up at my grandparents place in Madison. I turned the key in the ignition, and took off into the storm.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Dane
I WAS FURIOUS.
I was irrational.
I was out of control.
And I was in pain.
So much so that it felt like I’d lost my twin all over again. Everything I’d felt the moment I’d found out she was dead, came rushing back with vengeance, only this time the pain was more acute, more alive. I’d woken up with this nagging feeling in my chest, something didn’t feel right. Then I turned on the news, and figured out why I was feeling that way. My mother had warned me about this happening, but I hadn’t expected it to be like how they showed on the television.
I walked into my bedroom, and started punching the wall. Thankfully Reid wasn’t there because he would have tried to stop me and I didn’t want him to.