The Last Song(112)

She was alone and her father was dying, and there was absolutely nothing she could do to stop it.


“What’s going to happen?” she asked him. He hadn’t slept long, maybe ten minutes, before he’d rolled to her.

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Will you have to stay in the hospital?”

It was the one question she’d been afraid to ask. While he’d dozed, she’d held his hand, imagining that he would never leave this place. That he’d spend the rest of his life in this room that smelled of disinfectant, surrounded by nurses who were no more than strangers.

“No,” he said. “I’ll probably be home in a few days.” He smiled. “At least I hope so.”

She squeezed his hand. “And then what? Once we’re gone?”

He thought about it. “I suppose I’d like to see the window completed. And finish the song I started. I still think there’s something… special there.”

She scooted her chair closer. “I mean who’s going to make sure you’re okay?”

He didn’t answer right away but tried to sit up a little in the bed. “I’ll be fine,” he said. “And if I need something, I can call Pastor Harris. He lives only a couple of blocks away.”

She tried to imagine Pastor Harris, with his burned hands and his cane, trying to aid her father if he needed help getting into the car. He seemed to know what she was thinking.

“Like I said, I’ll be okay,” he murmured. “I’ve known this was coming, and if worse comes to worst, there’s a hospice associated with the hospital.”

She didn’t want to imagine him there, either. “A hospice?”

“It’s not as bad as you think. I’ve been there.”

“When?”

“A few weeks ago. And I went back again last week. They’ll be ready for me whenever I need it.”

Yet another thing she didn’t know, yet another secret revealed. Yet another truth portending the inevitable. Her stomach roiled, nausea settling in.

“But you’d rather be at home, wouldn’t you?”

“I will be,” he said.

“Until you can’t?”

His expression was almost too sad to bear. “Until I can’t.”


She left her father’s room, heading for the cafeteria. It was time, her dad said, for him to talk to Jonah.

She was dazed as she walked the corridors. It was almost midnight now, but the emergency room was as busy as always. She passed by rooms, most of them with open doors, and saw crying children accompanied by anxious parents and a woman who couldn’t stop vomiting. Nurses bustled around the main station, reaching for charts or loading up carts. It amazed her that so many people could be sick this late at night, yet she knew that most of them would be gone by tomorrow. Her dad, on the other hand, was scheduled to be moved to a room upstairs; they were only waiting for the paperwork to go through.

She weaved through the crowded waiting room toward a door that led to the main area of the hospital lobby and the cafeteria. As the door swung shut behind her, the noise level dropped. She could hear the sound of her footfalls, could almost hear herself thinking, and as she moved, she felt waves of exhaustion and nausea coursing through her. This was the place where sick people came; this was the place where people came to die, and she knew her father would see this place again.

She could barely swallow as she reached the cafeteria. She rubbed her gritty, swollen eyes, promising herself that she was going to keep it together. The grill was closed at this hour, but there were vending machines on the far wall, and a couple of nurses sat in the corner, sipping coffee. Jonah and Will were seated at a table near the door, and Will looked up as she approached. On the table stood a half-empty bottle of water and milk and a packet of cookies for Jonah. Jonah turned around to look at her.

“That took you long enough,” he said. “What’s going on? Is Dad okay?”

“He’s doing better,” she said. “But he wants to talk to you.”

“About what?” He put down his cookie. “I’m not in trouble, am I?”

“No, nothing like that. He wants to tell you what’s going on.”

“Why can’t you tell me?” He sounded anxious, and Ronnie felt her heart contract with dread.

“Because he wants to talk to you alone. Like he did with me. I’ll walk you over there and wait outside the door, okay?”

He got up from his seat and headed for the door, leaving her to trail after him. “Cool,” he said as he passed her, and Ronnie suddenly wanted to run away. But she had to stay with Jonah.