The Last Song(105)

She shook her head. Who was she? And whose life was she leading? More than that, where would it take her?

These days, none of it and all of it felt real, more real than anything she’d known: her love for Will, her growing bond with her father, the way her life had slowed down, so simply and completely. All of it sometimes seemed to be happening to someone else, someone she was still getting to know. Never in a million years would she have considered the idea that a sleepy beach town somewhere in the South would have been filled with so much more… life and drama than Manhattan.

Smiling, she had to admit that with a few exceptions, it hadn’t been all that bad, either. She was sleeping in a quiet bedroom beside her brother, separated only by glass and sand from the young man she loved, a young man who loved her back. She wondered whether there could be anything greater in life. And despite all that had happened, maybe because of it, she knew she would never forget the summer they’d spent together, no matter what the future might bring.

Lying in bed, she began to drift off to sleep. Her last conscious thought was that there was more coming. Although that sensation often foretold the worst, she knew that couldn’t be possible, not after all they’d been through.


In the morning, however, she awoke feeling anxious. As always, she was acutely conscious of the fact that another day had passed, meaning one less day left with Will.

But as she lay there, trying to make sense of the unease she felt, she realized it wasn’t just that. Will was heading off to college next week. Even Kayla was heading off to college. Yet she still had no idea what was coming for her. Yeah, she’d turn eighteen, and yeah, she’d deal with whatever the court decided, but then what? Was she going to live with her mom forever? Should she apply for a job at Starbucks? For an instant she flashed on a image of herself holding a shovel and following behind elephants at the zoo.

It was the first time she’d confronted the future so directly. She’d always held to the breezy belief that everything would turn out okay, no matter what she decided. And it would, she knew… for a while. But did she still want to be living with her mom at nineteen? Or twenty-one? Or, God forbid, twenty-five?

And how on earth was someone supposed to earn enough on her own—and afford to live in Manhattan—without a college degree?

She didn’t know. All she knew for certain was that she wasn’t ready for the summer to end. She wasn’t ready to go back home. She wasn’t ready to think about Will wandering the green quads at Vanderbilt, walking beside coeds in cheerleader outfits. She didn’t want to think about any of it.


* * *


“Is everything okay? You’ve been kind of quiet,” Will said.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s just that I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

They were sitting at the pier, sharing bagels and coffee, which they’d picked up on the way. Usually the pier was crowded with people fishing, but this morning they had the place to themselves. A nice surprise, considering he had the day off.

“Have you given any thought to what you want to do?”

“Anything that doesn’t involve elephants and shovels.”

He balanced his bagel on the Styrofoam cup. “Do I want to know what you’re talking about?”

“Probably not,” she said, grimacing.

“Okay.” He nodded. “But I was talking about what you wanted to do for your birthday tomorrow.”

Ronnie shrugged. “It doesn’t have to be anything special.”

“But you’re turning eighteen. Face it—that’s a big deal. You’ll legally be an adult.”

Great, she thought. Yet another reminder that time was running out to figure out what she was going to do with her life. Will must have read her expression because he reached over to put a hand on her knee.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“No. I don’t know. I’m just feeling weird today.”

In the distance, a pod of porpoises broke the water beyond the swells. The first time she’d seen them, she’d been amazed. Even the twentieth. Now, they were a regular part of the scenery, but even so, she’d miss them when she was back in New York, doing whatever it was she was going to do. She’d probably end up addicted to cartoons like Jonah and insist on watching them upside down.

“How about I take you out to dinner?”

No, scratch that. She’d probably end up addicted to Game Boy. “Okay.”

“Or maybe we’ll go dancing.”

Or maybe Guitar Hero. Jonah liked to play that for hours. And so had Rick, now that she thought about it. Pretty much everyone without a life was addicted to that game. “Sounds fine.”