The Last Outlaw(143)

Peter grinned. “I’m not so sure about that, although he did tell me once, when I took you away for that surgery, that you needed holding. I think the permission he gave me was only for then. If he walked in here right now, it might be a whole different story.”

Randy smiled through her tears. “Maybe. You know Jake.”

“Oh, my dear, I know him all too well.” He rocked her in his arms. “And I want him to come back as badly as you do, because I know what this is doing to you, and your happiness is all that matters to me. If I thought for one minute that wild ex-outlaw ever once abused you, things might be different. But I know he’s never treated you with anything but adoration. Anyone can see it in his eyes, and sometimes the look in those eyes can be pretty intimidating, but never when he looks at you.”

Randy straightened and kissed his cheek. “Peter, you are a good friend, and I’m so glad you came when you did. God meant for you to be here for me. Having you to talk to has helped me so much. And thank you for the invitation to come to Chicago, but I wouldn’t fit in there. As sweet and accommodating as I know Treena would be, I would still feel out of place. I’ve lived out here in the Wild West too long to feel comfortable in a big city. And it wouldn’t be fair to Treena, no matter how accepting she might be.” She pulled away but kept hold of his hand. “I’m sure she misses you terribly. You go home to her, Peter. I promise I’ll be all right. And I promise to write and tell you every single thing that’s happening. But I can’t promise I’ll ever accept that Jake isn’t coming home.”

But he hasn’t written or sent any kind of message. Surely if he was still alive he’d let you know. Peter couldn’t bring himself to say the words she didn’t want to hear. If he was alive but hadn’t written, he could be wounded so badly he would never recover, or maybe he was rotting away in prison. “Then I can only pray very, very hard that I’ll get a letter telling me Jake came home,” he told her, squeezing her hand reassuringly. “I have always wanted to hate the man but never could. I wouldn’t have minded landing a fist into him a time or two, but God knows what I’d get in return would have put me in the hospital.”

Randy smiled and shook her head. “No. He’d probably just get up and say he deserved it. Jake is very fond of you. He respects you, and he appreciates the things you’ve done for him and this family.”

Peter studied her lovingly. “No man could have fallen into better luck, considering his condition when he met you, than Jake Harkner did. You’re a fine woman, Randy Harkner. Be proud of what you did for that man, and for the kind of mother and grandmother you are. If I had ever enjoyed the privilege of loving you as a wife, I would have considered it a great honor. But I know that even if Jake is no longer alive, it wouldn’t matter. You will remain married to a memory and unable to love any other man that way. But I feel damn lucky to have been able to remain your friend. You remember that I’m here for you. Don’t ever, ever hesitate to ask me for anything you need, understand?”

A tear slipped down Randy’s cheek. “I do. And if things had worked out differently, I would have considered it an honor to be your wife. But that never once entered my mind, Peter. I couldn’t let it. Since I was twenty years old, only one man has consumed my heart and soul, and if he never comes back, that won’t change. Thank you for being so good to me…to all of us. You and my son-in-law Brian are two of the finest, most patient, most genteel men I have ever known. You’re both honorable and truly good men.” She let go of his hand. “You’d better go now. Come to supper tonight, will you? You and Jeff both.”

“We will. And I think it’s best we leave plenty early tomorrow.”

Randy wiped at tears with a shaking hand. “Yes. Take some of my homemade biscuits with you. And do give Treena my love.”

Peter struggled against his urge to cry. God, how he loved her! Yet there was nothing he wanted more now than to learn Jake Harkner was still alive…that he’d come home. As much as he loved this woman he could never have, he loved the thought of her true happiness even more, and there was only one thing that would give her that. He sighed deeply and turned, squeezing her hand once more before letting go. He walked to the door and hesitated. “This isn’t goodbye, Randy. I hate goodbyes. I want to always stay in touch and maybe bring Treena out here again. She loved that last visit. Would that be all right?”

“Of course it would.”

“I mean…even if Jake doesn’t make it back?”