Darkness engulfed her, a darkness that took away all reality.
Fifty-three
Another week passed.
Nothing.
Late August moved into mid-September.
Nothing.
Peter drank some of the coffee Randy had just poured for him. He watched her stack some dishes and pump water into the kitchen sink.
Busy. Always busy. She was constantly cleaning or cooking or trimming her roses or sewing or reading to Tricia and Sadie Mae. He knew it was all a facade—stay busy, don’t think about the very real possibility that Jake Harkner was never coming back. Don’t allow herself to believe that for one minute, or she’d fall apart and never recover.
Ben left for chores, and Peter decided to take this rare moment alone with her to settle what needed settling. “Randy, sit down, will you?”
She stopped what she was doing and just stood at the sink a moment. “You’re leaving.”
“Honey, I have to. I have a wife and a lot of work waiting for me in Chicago. Jeff has to go too. His wife could deliver at any time, and he’s praying he’s not already too late. We’ve done all we can possibly do to find out…what happened.”
“To find out if Jake is really dead,” she said rather coldly.
Peter sighed and rose. He walked up to her and grasped her arm, turning her. “Randy, look at me.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Your eyes will tell me the truth, and I don’t want to hear it.”
“My darling Randy, I am not going to make you admit Jake isn’t coming back. I just want you to prepare yourself…to face the fact that Jeff and I and most everyone else believe the worst, but I’m not saying you have to give up hope. Please look at me.”
Randy finally looked up at him. He studied the gray-green eyes that had always fascinated him. Her exotic eyes were part of her beauty. He had no doubt they were part of the reason Jake had fallen for her. A man could get lost in those eyes. “Please tell me you’ll write, and that you’ll send for me or come to me in Chicago if you truly need me. I’ll go crazy with worry over you.”
“Peter, I have a whole great big family to fall back on.”
He shook his head. “That’s not the same, and you know it. Randy. I have big shoulders. You can cry on my shoulder any time you need to.”
Randy put a hand on his chest. “You have a wife, Peter.”
“And she knows all about our friendship—and that’s what it is. God knows when I was still single I longed for much more, but I knew better than to consider such a thing. Even so, I intend to remain a damn good friend, and I will always care about you. There is no changing that, and Treena knows it. And if you reach a point where it might help you get over this, you come to Chicago. Treena will welcome you with open arms, and Lord knows she can take you to all the best places a woman would want to see—the best shopping, stage performances, museums, you name it.”
Randy shook her head. “You truly are my best friend, Peter Brown, but it wouldn’t do any good for me to leave this place that Jake and I love so. I could go away for a year, but when I came home, all the familiar things around me would just hit me even harder. Leaving won’t change anything, Peter. It won’t take away the memories. It won’t heal the hurt. Only time can do that, and I’m not sure what’s left of my lifetime will be long enough.”
He put a hand to the side of her face. “Then promise me you will take the comfort of your children and grandchildren and remember they need you. And not for my sake, but for Jake’s, because he’d want that. He’d want you to eat right and take care of yourself. Promise me you will do that, if not for me, then for Jake, whether he ever comes back or not.”
Randy grasped his hand and kissed his palm. “I promise.” She withered a little, leaning forward to put her head on his shoulder. “Jake Harkner is the toughest, most resilient man I’ve ever known, and that’s why I cling to the hope he’s still alive. God knows what he’s suffering right now, but one thing I’m sure of is that he’ll do anything it takes to get home…to the J&L…to his children and grandchildren…and to me. He’ll do everything in his power to keep his promise that he’d come back. That’s all that keeps me going.”
Peter wrapped her in his arms. “And how long will you cling to that hope before facing the truth?”
Her eyes teared. “As long as necessary…until I know I can handle the worst. Right now, I can’t. And I feel him with me, Peter. I don’t know how to explain it. I just feel him with me. And I actually think he wouldn’t mind you holding me.”