Ali blew out a breath. “This is why you’re an idiot, brother. Because she would’ve stayed. She didn’t have to be gone, not for good. If you’d told her how you felt, she wouldn’t have left. Or she would’ve made you go with her.”
I stared at my sister. “I couldn’t do that. What if I did tell her, and then she felt sorry for me and stayed out of pity? Or what if she thought she loved me, stayed in Burton, then hated me in a few years for taking that choice away from her? That would kill me, Ali.”
I waited for her to argue back, but she only laughed. “Oh, you two are a pair. Do you know what Meghan told me the morning she left, Sam? She said she wouldn’t stay here, no matter how much she cares for you, because you didn’t want her. I’m not supposed to tell you this, but the school board offered her a job here, part-time during her last year of school and then full time after graduation. She didn’t take it because she thought it would be awkward for you to have her around when you’re trying to get on with your life.”
“She turned them down?” My heart was flipping over in my chest, a glimmer of hope battling with the heaviness that had weighed me down the last week.
“No, she didn’t tell them anything definite yet. But only because I stalled her. She won’t come back here if she thinks you don’t want her.” Ali looked at me steadily. “So what are you going to do with that information? You going to sit here and brood until it’s too late, and she’s out of reach completely? Or are you going to do something for yourself for once in your damn life?”
I rubbed my face. “Ali. . yes, I’m in love with her. But it doesn’t change the fact that the farm is here and needs me, and so do you. I have to think about that, too.”
My sister gazed down at her hands, fingers twisting. “Sam, do you remember the night Flynn left?”
I drew my brows together in surprise at this abrupt change of subject. “Sure. It was the day after you graduated from high school.”
She nodded. “And that night, the night of graduation ... he and I had a huge fight. We were parked down by the lake—oh, don’t give me that look. It was eight years ago, and you can’t do anything about it now.” She made a face at me. “Anyway. Flynn had been talking for months about leaving. Getting out of town after graduation, just the two of us. He’d been working hard to save money, and we were going to travel, to see the world together. But that morning, before graduation, you told me about all your plans for the farm, how well things were going, and how if the two of us worked together, we could save it. We could keep it in the family, just like we’d been hoping.”
“Oh, God, no, Ali. Is that why you and Flynn fought? Why you didn’t go with him?”
She turned a miserable face toward me. “I couldn’t leave you here by yourself. I couldn’t abandon you and the farm. I thought—I really thought he’d come back. Or give in. Compromise. I would’ve traveled with him that summer if he’d promised we’d come back to Burton. But we both said things we didn’t mean, and then the next day he was gone.”
I reached across to take her hand. “Ali, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
She smiled at me, but one tear ran down her cheek. “It’s old news, Sam. Over and done, and too much time has passed to wonder what might have been. But I don’t want you to make the same mistake. Meghan will never give you a her-or-us ultimatum. This isn’t the same thing as Flynn and me, because she’s willing to become part of your life here. You can have both. All you have to do is reach out and take that chance. Don’t fuck this up, big brother. Please.”
I stood up and pushed my chair in. Ali watched me, curious.
“So what’s it going to be?”
I grinned down at her. “I think it’s time I checked out the beaches in Florida. I hear they’re perfect this time of year.”
“WHO’S THE CUTEST BOY on the beach? Who’s making all the girls check him out?” I bounced DJ on my hip, tickling him under the chin.
“Please, don’t remind me.” Lindsay, my sister-in-law, ruffled her son’s dark hair. “I know he’s just a year old, but I see these guys on the beach with the girls making eyes at them, and I think ... if they were looking at DJ like that, I’d want to scratch their eyes out.”
I laughed. “You’ve got some time. But yeah, I think this boy’s definitely going to be a chick magnet in about fifteen years.” I nuzzled his plump neck. “Don’t worry, sweetie. Auntie Megs will keep all the nasty girls away.”