The Last One(35)

“On the outside, I was. But inside ... and sometimes the outside, too, on Saturday nights ... I was kind of wild. I raised my share of Cane, like Ali would say.”

“You know, that makes me like you even better.” Meghan stood and stretched her arms high over her head. Without missing a beat, she bent at the waist and leaned to touch the tops of her feet. I watched, my mouth hanging open, as the neck of her shirt sagged. I could see right down the front, to the swell of her breasts over the cups of a black bra and the flat of her stomach. The denim shorts tightened over her pert little ass, and again I was having a hard time sitting still.

She straightened and caught me staring. Taking a step forward, she stood about an inch away from my knees, close enough for me to touch if I just reached one hand forward.

“I’m glad we’re friends now, Sam.” She spoke softly, and the whisper caressed my face. “You know, we could be the kind of friends who ... well, your kind of friends. No complications. No drama. Just fun and ...” She exhaled and ran a hand over her curls, bunching them at the back of her neck. “Maybe letting off a little steam.”

All I had to do was reach up and put my hand to her waist, tug her forward, and I knew she’d melt into me. It was what we both wanted, I knew, but it was what might happen after that that kept me from moving.

“Meghan, what I said before stands. I’m too old for you. And you’re a guest in my home, so I’m not going to take advantage of you. That wouldn’t be right.”

“It’s not taking advantage if I offer. If I want it, too. I’m not asking you for a commitment here, Sam. I’m just saying, we could give each other what we both need.”

I had to get away, now, or I was going to give in. Her scent filled me, and she was so close that I could feel heat coming off her body in waves. I clenched my teeth together and stood up, moving her back gently with my hands on her upper arms.

“I’m going inside now, before I do something that you and I would both end up regretting. I’ll be your friend, Meghan. But that’s all I can do.”

I released her arms and turned to go back inside. As the screen door closed quietly behind me, I cursed myself as a fool and stomped upstairs toward a cold shower that had nothing to do with the air temperature.





I LAY IN BED awake for a very long time that night, reliving every minute from the conversation on the porch. I’d been startled when Sam had appeared around the corner of the house and climbed the steps to the porch. I knew he hadn’t seen me; if he had, he wouldn’t have sat down. For a few minutes, I was tempted to keep quiet and just watch him. There was a definite allure to his face when he was relaxed, not on alert as he usually was around me.

But I was curled up on the hanging bench swing, and I knew it was only a matter of time before a twitch of my body or the movement of my breath made the chain squeak. And then he’d be angry at my silence. I wouldn’t be able to blame him for that, since it’d be more than a little creepy-stalkerish to sit in the dark watching him.

I fully expected him to let me go inside without saying anything when I offered, but he didn’t. And whether it was the dark, the cool of the evening breeze or something I didn’t know about, he was more open and talkative than he’d ever been around me.

When he’d said my name ... Meghan, what I said before stands ... I couldn’t breathe for a moment. He’d never said my name before. He talked to me, he talked about me, he talked around me, but he’d never addressed me directly that way. I was so taken by that fact that I nearly missed what he said afterward. I’m too old for you.

I didn’t understand his preoccupation with our age difference. If he didn’t like me, fine. If he could say, honestly, that he wasn’t attracted me, that he felt nothing, I’d leave him alone and accept his offer of friendship. But he never said that. I could feel his want when we were close; it was a nearly tangible thing, more than just a reflection of my own desire. Tonight, he’d been on the verge of giving in.

And yet, I had to admit that I wanted it to be more than him giving in to me. I didn’t want to be the seducer. I’d been there before, more times than I chose to remember. I always regretted it, particularly when I was forced to end the relationship, as inevitably I did.

I must have dozed off at some point, because when I opened my eyes again, the sky outside my window was painted in breathtaking shades of pink and purple. I rubbed the grit out of my eyes and stood to pull back the curtains. The wide blue expanse beckoned me, and without pausing, I picked up my messenger bag and slung it over my head, then hunted for flip-flops. Once I had them on my feet, I slipped out of my room as quietly as I could manage.