I was just about to lose the battle with myself when she spoke, shattering my preoccupation.
“The farm—that’s why you don’t really date, right? Because you feel responsible for what your parents left you?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” My voice was rough with desire, and I cleared my throat. “It’s a full time job, and then some. But I owe it to my parents, and to Ali and Bridget, too, to make sure it stays with us. I can’t lose it.”
“And you think this is what your parents would want? They’d want you to sacrifice your life to hold onto the land?”
“They gave up the right to have an opinion on the subject when they died and left me.” I knew my words were harsh, but I trusted that Meghan would understand what I meant. “At one point ... maybe I thought things might be different. After Ali got married and moved out, I considered leasing more of the farm and renting the house. Trying something different. I was in college then—”
“You went to college?” She sounded amazed.
“Yeah, why the shock? Because you figured me for a dumb country farmer?”
“No.” Meghan shook her head emphatically. “Not at all. I just figured you never got the chance. Ali said your parents died right before your high school graduation.”
“I went to night school, and I took some courses online. Took me a little longer, but I got a degree in business.”
“Not agriculture?”
I laughed and crossed one leg over the other. “No, why would I study something I already knew? I live and breathe agriculture. The Guild suggested business, and they were right.”
“The Guild? What’s that?” She stretched one leg onto the bench, flexing her bare foot. Her shorts had ridden up, and I could see the top of her thigh, the fascinating ridge of tendon that disappeared into the denim of her pants.
Suddenly my chair was just a little less comfortable. I hoped she couldn’t see how the zipper of my jeans was bulging more than normal.
“Uh, the Guild? It’s a group of business owners in town. They’ve been supporting each other, helping newcomers and contributing to the community for years. When my parents died, they jumped in to help me keep the farm. I couldn’t have done it without them.”
“Oh, I see. That’s like my uncle Matt. He and the rest of the posse kind of take care of Crystal Cove. Whenever someone’s having a hard time or just needs a little help, they make it happen.”
“Yeah, that sounds like the Guild. What’s the posse?”
She smiled, her eyes lighting up. “That’s what my dad’s friends call themselves. It was my father, my uncle Eric and a group of guys they’ve known from the time they were all little boys. They’ve been part of my life since I was born.”
“Feels good when people have your back.” I sat forward and leaned an elbow on my knee. “Really is a pretty night.”
“It is. Reminds me of the nights growing up when I used to sit out on the deck at the Tide, with my family and a bunch of friends. The grown-ups would talk, and we kids would play games. Sometimes my dad would bring out a grill, and we’d toast marshmallows. Those were happy times.” Her eyes were faraway, staring into a distance I couldn’t see.
“I never thanked you.” It was an abrupt change of subject, and she jerked her gaze to my face, confused. “For helping with the onions, I mean. You didn’t have to do it, but you stepped up. I appreciate it.”
“Really?” She smiled, and her whole face lit up with it. “You do?”
I smiled back at her. “Yeah, really.”
“Does this mean we’re friends?” She sat up, too and used her feet to stop the swing from swaying. The moonlight shone on her hair, and her eyes were luminous.
I considered for a minute and then nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“Okay. That makes me happy.” She brushed her hair back behind her ear. “I don’t expect everyone to like me, but you matter. I’m going to be here for the rest of the summer, and I’d hate to live here with someone who couldn’t stand me.”
“It’s never been that I couldn’t stand you, Meghan. It’s just ...” I couldn’t explain how I felt without saying something I knew I’d regret, opening a door I couldn’t afford to walk through. “Maybe it’s that you remind me of myself when I was your age.”
“Oh, because you’re so much older than me now.” She was teasing, and one side of my mouth lifted in response.
“I am. Too old for you.”
“That’s a matter of opinion, and I don’t agree with yours. Besides, why would I remind you of yourself? You were always so responsible.”