He was hard pressed not to laugh, which was terribly unkind, he knew, but she was babbling as she cried, clearly overset in the extreme. He decided it was a product of her courses, surely. It was unlike his Jane to carry on like this. He held her and petted her hair and assured her he would want her until he was old and gray and unable to service her any longer. “And you are not mannish. You must forget I ever said that, promise me you will. As for your mess, would you think me base, crude and common if I told you I find it rather endearing? It’s who you are, the soul of your femininity. There’s a good girl, stop crying now and know that I won’t leave you at Eastchase, for I would not be able to sleep without you.”
She hugged him with great gusto, pressing the breath out of him. “Oh, God, I don’t deserve you, I do not.”
“Now you are speaking rubbish.”
“Are you going to plant me a facer, Blixford?”
“I’d not hurt a hair on your head, Jane.” He stood there and kept her close to him for a very long while, until she pulled away and reached for the corner of the sheet, which she used to dry her tears. “Oh dear, this is certainly an unusual turn of events.”
“How so? It happens every month.”
She blinked at him. “We’re still in our honeymoon, and this will put a great damper on things.”
“Only because we can’t make love to each other?”
“Of course. It is what people do on honeymoons.”
“Doubtful many do it so much as we have,” he said dryly. “It’s of no consequence to me. You’ll stop your courses in a few days, and we’ll go on until then just as we have, with one exception.” He turned and headed for their dressing room. “I’ll have to resist taking you whenever the mood strikes, but I’ll work hard not to mind.”
“As you know, hard work—”
“Is its own reward,” he finished for her. “Today may be a bit different, however. I’ve got some business in Dover, so I thought perhaps we’d go there together and have a late luncheon.”
“Really?”
She sounded like a little girl, anticipating a grand treat. He turned and grinned at her. “Yes, really. You may not feel up to riding, in which case we can take the carriage. Now, I’m going to throw on some clothes, go for a ride, and return to shave and dress properly before we have breakfast. Shall I send your maid up?”
She cast a look toward the sheets. “Not just yet. I’ll have to clean up first, then I’ll ring for her and request a bath.”
“Is it not the duty of a maid to clean up messes made by a duchess?”
Her eyes were wide when she looked at him. “I can’t allow it, Blix. I’d surely faint of shame and embarrassment.”
What an unusual woman he had married. “Will you launder the sheets yourself?”
“I’ll take them to the wash house and rinse them out before I give them over to be properly laundered. I daresay the topmost feather mattress is ruined. Deuced shame to waste, but I truly didn’t anticipate this. I thought surely I must have conceived. We’ve certainly tried hard enough, have we not?”
Something in that didn’t sit well with him. “Is conception all we’ve been about?”
“Well, I’d be lying if I said it was my only objective. In truth, it has been tucked away in the back of my mind as a lovely possible outcome, but I confess not my main concern, as it is yours.” Her expression became defensive. “However, I don’t think I can apologize, because I’m not sorry. You knew I was a hoyden when you married me.” The expression instantly changed to anxiety. “You do understand that I want to conceive?” Now she looked very perplexed. “Perhaps it’s because I’ve not thought about it with enough concentration. Mayhap I should go forward with conception uppermost in my mind. Do you suppose one’s thoughts can make a difference?”
Fascinating. His wife was absolutely captivating. “First of all, I should also confess that conception has not been much on my mind, but rather, like you, somewhere in hiding, though definitely there. As to you being a hoyden, I don’t believe that would explain your enjoyment of conjugal relations. I certainly understand that you do, indeed, wish to conceive, but I don’t think focusing on it will make the slightest difference. Only think of all the children born on the wrong side of the blanket. They were undoubtedly not thought of with great intensity before conceived. I believe we should carry on as we have, and let nature take its course. If you’re meant to conceive, you will. If not, my line will die and my ancestors will have to forgive me. It can’t be said I’ve not attempted to do my duty.”