By the time I led Appaloosa back to the stables, the sun was setting in a gray winter’s sky. I returned carrying the saddle, with Appaloosa trailing me. My daddy was standing in front of the barn. Mr. Waverly was there too, along with Christian, Percy, and Jack. Robert stood with them. Inside the barn Mitchell and his daddy were tending to the horses. As I neared, I saw that my daddy was tightly holding a strap doubled up in his hand. His knuckles were white.
My daddy looked at Appaloosa. “What happened to him?”
“Ask Christian.”
“I’m asking you.”
I glanced over at Robert and Christian. “Robert let Christian and Percy ride him, and this is how they rode him.”
My daddy didn’t even look at the Waverlys; instead, he kept his eyes on Appaloosa and said to me, “He all right?”
“Yes, sir. Except for his markings where he was beaten. He’s still bleeding.”
“Then let Willie have him. He’ll fix him up.”
At the mention of his name, Willie Thomas came quickly from the barn and led the Appaloosa inside. I started to follow, but my daddy stopped me. “No. You stay here.” We both watched Willie Thomas as he checked over the Appaloosa; then my daddy turned again to me. “Get those clothes off,” he said.
I didn’t know what he meant. “Sir?”
“Robert here tells me you hit him. Said you hit Percy and Christian too.”
“They hit me.”
“I didn’t ask you if they hit you,” said my daddy. “All I’m interested in knowing about is whether or not you hit them.”
“I hit them,” I admitted frankly. “But they had it coming. Robert let Christian and Percy ride that Appaloosa, and they—”
My daddy cut me right off. “I don’t even want to hear it. Doesn’t matter about anything else, about what they did. You’ve got to learn, Paul, and you’ve got to learn now, you don’t ever hit a white man. Ever.”
I stared at my daddy with disbelief and said, “Since when is Robert a man?”
“As of now,” said my daddy with finality.
“Then I suppose that makes me a man too,” I declared defiantly.
“Not a white man,” said my daddy. “You best be remembering, Paul, you’re not white, much as you might look it.”
“Well, that’s not my fault, is it? That’s yours and my mama’s.”
“You leave your mama out of this.”
“You didn’t.”
There was quiet between us. There was quiet all around us. At the back of the barn I could see Mitchell’s daddy working on Appaloosa, and even that was quiet. Mitchell stood watching me. The Waverlys were watching me too.
“Paul,” my daddy finally said in a voice tight but quiet-sounding, as if he were holding hard on keeping whatever he was feeling inside, “you keep that smart mouth and you’re going to end up getting yourself killed. You don’t hit a white man and you don’t sass a white man. Now, strip down.”
“What for?”
“I’m going to teach you a hard lesson and I’m going to teach it to you right now. You get those clothes off, or I’ll cut right through them.” My daddy said that and unfurled the strap.
I gestured toward Robert. “What about him? Is he getting a whipping too?”
“I’m not worrying about Robert right now,” said my daddy. “I’m worrying about you. Now, strip down.”
I glanced over at the Waverlys standing there, waiting on my whipping. I looked at Robert too, standing there biting at his lip, the cause of it all, and I said to my daddy, “This isn’t fair.”
“Who said it was about fair?” My daddy’s eyes settled on mine, and I took off the clothes. I stripped bare as they all watched. I stripped bare and felt as I had never felt before, not just naked, but worn and like an old shoe, soleless. My daddy raised his strap, and the strap cut into me good, but I didn’t cry out and I let no tears fall. He let the strap fall again and again across my back, and I just stood there in my nakedness gazing out across the land I had once thought was mine, feeling my humiliation and thinking on the family I had once thought was mine. When my daddy finished whipping on me, I slowly picked up my clothing, set my gaze on Robert one final time, then ran off naked into the woods.
I don’t know how long I sat alone in those woods. I had dressed, then settled on the creek bank forgetful of time. Darkness was coming on, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care that my mama was waiting on me and that Cassie and Howard were most likely at the house by now. I didn’t care that George and Hammond were probably home too. I didn’t care that it was Christmas Eve. After all, it didn’t seem like Christmas now. All I had was the darkness. At least it hid my face.