She shook her head. "We agreed to wait until we were married. I think he thought I was virtuous. I wasn't virtuous. I just wasn't … eager. It was easy to wait."
"How could you marry him then?"
"I was trying so hard to get over you. Trying so hard to build a life without you." She gulped a breath. "Thank God you arrived when you did. If you hadn't … " Her voice drifted away, her insides lurching. "It wouldn't have been good."
"Then we need to make this good. We need to be good." He turned his face into her hand, kissing her palm. "We can't be hotheads anymore. Can't be brash or impulsive."
"You're the impulsive one," she countered. "You're the one that leaps before looking."
His lips curved. "Maybe."
"Don't be brash anymore. Don't be stupid."
"Ouch." But he was smiling.
She smiled back, even as she wound her arms around his neck. "Be smart. Be safe. Be mine, forever."
"I am, babe. Forever and ever."
Chapter Fifteen
‡
TJ woke first. It was early, almost ungodly early as he shouted from the living room. "Santa came! Santa was here!"
McKenna quickly pulled her night shirt on and left the warm bed to shiver in the middle of the room. "Come on, Santa, you need to build a fire. I'll get the coffee brewing."
In the living room TJ was crouched by the Christmas tree studying the colorful packages that magically appeared in the night.
"Are any of these for me?" he asked, touching the gifts and trying to read names on the tags.
"I think most of them are for you," she answered, smiling as she buttoned up the oversized Salish knit cardigan she'd turned into her robe. "Santa must think you've been a very good boy."
"But someone wasn't good," TJ said, pointing to the row of stockings hanging from the stone fireplace. "One of them has black stuff in it."
"Coal."
TJ looked worried. "That's bad."
Yawning Trey entered the room and glanced up at the three stockings hanging from the stone mantle. Two red and green and cream stockings, and one green and white one. "Which is mine?" he asked.
"I hope you didn't get the one with coal," TJ said.
Trey glanced from the stockings to McKenna, an eyebrow rising. "Bad, huh?"
She shrugged. "It's from Santa. He keeps the list, naughty and nice." Then she crossed to his side, and leaned down to whisper. "Although last night I think you were both naughty and nice."
His blue gaze warmed. "Very very nice."
"Or, very very bad … "
"Which can also be nice."
She blushed and kissed him before straightening. "I'm going to make coffee.
You guys build the fire and then we'll have to see what Santa brought everyone."
*
TJ loved his gifts, all of them, letting out delighted squeals every time he opened a new presents. He tore through the paper, destroying ribbons and careful wrap to crow with pleasure as he discovered the gift.
Boxes of Lego. The set of tin soldiers. A football. A Mine Craft backpack. Matchbox cars and a figure 8 track for the cars to race on.
TJ wanted to play with everything right away but then settled down with the tin soldiers, setting up two army camps on the floor by the tree.
McKenna went to make breakfast, eggs and hash brown and cinnamon coffee cake. She'd just slid the coffee cake into the oven when Trey came to the kitchen. "I have one more gift," he said, holding out a small box with an enormous red bow. "I found it in a little art and crafts gallery in Cherry Lake. It reminded me of you."
She put the pot holders down and took the little box with the huge crimson silk ribbon. It was so pretty. The ribbon itself was a work of art. "I don't have anything else for you," she said regretfully. "Just that Pendleton shirt I gave you earlier."
"I like my shirt. I haven't had a new shirt in a while."
"I would have shopped more but I was using your money. It didn't feel right buying you presents with your own money."
"Now that's not entirely true. You did give me something else. A very nice gift, full of tender loving thoughts." His dark head inclined. "Thank you for that wonderful sock full of coal."
She laughed, her expression mischievous. "I couldn't help it. The stocking screamed your name."
"I'm sure it did." His lips were still quirked and then his smile faded but his expression was infinitely warm. "And this one, Mac, screamed yours."
She tugged off the ribbon and removed the paper and lifted the lid. Inside the delicate tissue paper was a necklace. An angel hanging from a gold necklace.
And the angel looked like a miniature version of the angel ornaments she'd sold him all those years ago.
"You know what this looks like," she said.
"The dozen brass angels I bought from you."
"Yes." She lifted the angel, studying it more closely, the chain sliding through her fingers. "Is this a sapphire?"
"A Montana sapphire."
"I love it so much." She leaned forward and kissed him, and kissed him again. "I love you so much."
"I know you do."
"We're going to make this work, Trey. We're going to get it right this time."
"That's the plan."
"No craziness. Just family and work and love." She smiled into his eyes. "Lots and lots of love."
"Sounds perfect." He took the necklace from her, opened the clasp, waiting while she lifted her long hair and then fastened it around her neck.
She turned back around to face him. "How does it look?" she asked, touching the angel which hit just at her breastbone.
"Beautiful."
"Thank you."
"My pleasure." He hesitated. "Speaking of family and work and love … have you thought about where you want to live?"
She hesitated, her fingers rubbing across the angel and stone. "I would have thought you'd want to live on the Sheenan ranch."
"But I know the idea of living on the ranch makes you nervous," he said.
She said nothing, her gaze clinging to his.
"And yes, the ranch house is big enough. It has what? Five bedrooms? But it's not the space that has you worried. It's the fact that we're so remote."
"Yes."
"I think TJ would love living on the ranch. The horses, the dogs. All the space to play."
"I loved living on our ranch, until … " Her voice faded and she hung her head, rubbing the angel again, needing courage, and comfort. "But if it's what you wanted for TJ, if it's that important to you, we could try. I could … try."
"But you'd be scared."
She nodded.
"Even with me there," he added.
She nodded again. "I'm sorry."
He reached for her, drawing her against him, his hands looping low on her back. "Don't be sorry. I don't blame you for being frightened. If I were you, I'd be nervous, too."
She exhaled slowly. This had been a sticking point for them, years ago. Trey had wanted to live on the ranch. She had wanted to live in town. He couldn't run the ranch from town but she couldn't imagine living so isolated. What if something bad happened again? What if … ?
She swallowed hard. "My fear is irrational, I know that. And Sheenans are ranchers, I know that, too. But I really really don't want to be way out there, especially if you're not at the house, and let's face it, you'll be out working on the ranch, taking care of the cattle and the property, not hanging around the kitchen."
"So we live in town."
"And the ranch?"
"We'll figure that out."
"What does that mean?"
"It means the ranch isn't half as important as you, and your peace of mind. Maybe Dillon will want to run it. Maybe I'll sell it-"
"Trey, no!"
"I've lived without the ranch for the past four years, and I was fine. But I wasn't fine living without you." His gaze was steady, his expression somber as he reached up to move a loose tendril of hair from her brow. His fingers were gentle, his touch sure. "A job is a job, but family is forever."
His tenderness made her chest ache. "And yet since I've met you, you've only wanted one thing-to run the Sheenan ranch one day."
"Two things," he corrected. "You and the ranch, but as I said, I didn't burn and ache for the ranch at Deer Lodge, but honey, I burned and ached for you."
*
They had a leisurely breakfast and then Trey and TJ washed up the dishes so McKenna could take a bath and sample some of the bubbles and body wash and scented shampoo Trey had filled her stocking with.