The Key in the Attic(45)
“She does it because she likes it, but it’s still not an easy life. I don’t begrudge her what she has. I just want us all to get along. We’re family.”
“Why can’t we, Auntie Beth?” There was pain in Amy’s voice. “Why can’t we all just do things together and have some fun? I can’t even mention that I talked to you without her getting mad at me. I love you both. Why should I have to choose?”
“You shouldn’t have to, honey. We shouldn’t put you in the position where you feel like you have to. We’re supposed to be the grown-ups here.”
“I’m supposed to be a grown-up too, remember?”
“I don’t care if you’re thirty-nine or sixty-nine, sweetie. You’ll always be my little girl. Anyway, we’re all supposed to be mature, even if we don’t act like it.”
“Mom doesn’t act like it, you mean.”
“Don’t blame her for everything, honey. I don’t always try to be a peacemaker either.”
Amy sniffed. “I don’t know why she has to be mean to you, just because you’re nice to me.”
“She doesn’t like sharing you, I expect.”
“Yeah, right. It’s not like she spends time with me or anything.”
“But you’re her daughter, not mine.”
“But you’re the one who really cares about me.” Amy’s voice broke. “You would never do things to hurt me just so you wouldn’t be embarrassed in front of your friends.”
“Sometimes, honey, what people try to do to make things better only makes them worse.” Mary Beth’s tears welled up at the sound of her niece’s pain. “Your mother always means to do the best she can for you.”
“Instead, I have to live my whole life wondering why my mother never understood how much I loved Cagney,” Amy said. “And I wonder what my life would have been like if he had lived. She acted as if it was no big deal that I watched him be murdered.”
Mary Beth’s tears spilled down her cheeks, her heart breaking all over again to think of the horror of what Amy went through at the tender age of sixteen. Even though that was more than half her lifetime ago, Amy still lived with the pain. So did Mary Beth. Melanie’s callous attitude toward Amy’s situation had left her daughter with a never-healing wound and the two of them with a broken relationship.
“You ought to talk to your mother about it, honey.”
“I can’t talk to her about it.” Amy’s voice trembled. “She’ll only tell me not to make a big deal about it. I can’t take that from her again.”
“I’m so sorry it’s been like that between you, but you know it won’t get better if you stop trying. You need to forgive her, and you need to forgive yourself. You’ll never be close to your mother with all that hurt standing between you.”
Amy drew a trembling breath, and then she laughed faintly. “I don’t know how we got on that subject again. It’s old news, and I know that’s not what you called about.”
“Amy, sweetie—”
“Anyway, I won’t tell Mother any more of my big ideas, if that’s what you want. I still think she ought to help you. I would do it myself if there was anything I could do. The money Grandma left me—”
“Is yours, honey. That’s why Grandma left it to you. She left me some things too—things that I love. More than I need. Now I want you to stop worrying about me. I promise you I’ll be fine. Now you tell me how your day went. How’s that Everett of yours?”
“Oh, he’s fine. We went to see Les Miserables, off-Broadway, and it was really good, even though we’ve both seen it several times before. Then he took me to this little Italian place for dinner. The tiramisu was divine.”
“Ooh, and was this a special occasion?”
Amy giggled. “No. He said it was just because.”
“Ah, you’d better hold on to a guy like that. And how’s his little boy?”
“Peter’s a sweetheart. We took him to the zoo a couple of weeks ago. He especially loves the tigers. Everett is thinking about getting him a kitten—tiger-striped, of course.”
Mary Beth laughed. “Of course. Oh Amy, your mother is missing so much. All the little everyday things. Do you ever talk to her like this?”
“Not really. She doesn’t have time for trivia.”
“When was the last time you tried?”
Amy was quiet for a moment. “Years, I guess. Ever since I realized she wasn’t really listening.”
“Will you do something for me?”