"What happened to the boyfriend from the restaurant?" Elroy asked. "You never had sex with him?" This was hard to believe.
"We're still friends," Kyle said. "He went to school in Los Angeles and we still keep in touch. But we weren't in love. We made out and did safe things, but never anything with penetration. He wanted to have sex, but I refused. After what happened with Jeremy, I found it hard to trust any man. I still cringe when I think of him calling me a fag. I'd never felt that way before or since- like trash."
"I understand doing the safer things in bed," Elroy said. "I have a lot of friends like that. We just jack each other off."
Kyle sent him a look and said, "I'll bet you do. Now tell me your deep dark secret. I told you mine."
Chapter Ten
Elroy finished his drink and moved closer to Kyle. He was so close he could smell the Southern Comfort on his breath. He lowered his head and said, "I'm not sure I can talk about it. It's just too painful for me."
Kyle put his arm around him and spoke in a soft, comforting tone. "You can tell me. It's okay. You should never be afraid of your innermost emotions."
He leaned into Kyle's side and rested his head on Kyle's soft shoulder. This was turning into an Oprah Winfrey show. "It's just that it was so traumatic I get all filled up thinking about it. I've never told anyone about this before. I don't want to cry in front of you." He hadn't cried since his mom's and dad's funerals.
Kyle seemed to enjoy this. He caressed Elroy's head and said, "Don't ever be afraid to cry. I think that's a sign of strength in a man. You need to release your emotions sometimes."
"You do?"
Kyle stroked his head again. "Yes, it's sweet, too." Elroy took a quick breath and said, "Okay, here goes. But
would you please put your other arm around me? This is so hard." He wanted to feel Kyle's body up against his. "Sure, I will," Kyle said. He put his other arm around Elroy as if he were cradling him against his chest. "And cry all you want. I don't mind."
Elroy inhaled his spicy scent and said, "It happened my senior year while I was in boarding school. I fell in love with an older man who had a wife and kids. One weekend his wife and kids went to visit his wife's mother in Boston and my older boyfriend had the house all to himself. He asked me to come over and spend the weekend with him and I refused at first."
"Good for you," Kyle said. "I think that was wrong of him. He shouldn't have put you in the position. He was married and had kids. He shouldn't have been cheating on his wife in the first place. Things like that never end well."
"I know that now," Elroy said. He sniffed a few times and continued. "He told me he was in love with me and that we would one day be together. I was so in love with him I would have died for him if he'd asked."
"Did you go to his house that weekend?" Elroy nodded. "Yes, I went there, against my better judgment. But I had to see him. I was in love with him and I couldn't stand being away from him. I showed up late on a Saturday night, around eight o'clock. He had a wonderful candlelight dinner prepared for us. We ate and drank champagne, and wound up in his bedroom a few hours later."
"In his wife's bed?" Kyle asked.
"Yes. I told you it's hard for me to talk about this."
"Don't stop now."
"You promise you won't repeat any of this?"
"Not a word," Kyle said."Well, my older boyfriend had a few
kinks I should mention first. He liked me to dress up. Up until that night I'd kept it simple. I'd wear high heels and stockings and sometimes a long blond wig. I didn't like doing it, but I told you I was willing to do anything to please him."
"Oh, you poor thing," Kyle said. "Tell me more."
"That night he wanted me to put on one of his wife's negligées, a slinky black see-through affair. He must have had it all planned in advance. He had a long blond wig, black high heels, bright red lipstick, and long red fake fingernails. So I went into the bathroom and put it all on, willing to do anything to please the man. By the time I came out of the bathroom, he was already in bed naked, waiting for me. So I climbed into bed and we started making love. I hated doing it. I've never been into that sort of thing. But I would have done anything to please him."
"That is so sad," Kyle said. "It just breaks my heart. You poor thing."
Elroy wiped a tear off his cheek and sniffed back. "But it gets worse. While we were making love, his wife came home unexpectedly and found us in her bed. I was on my back, wearing her black negligee, with my legs up in the air. He was fucking me and just about ready to come." Elroy lowered his head to Kyle's lap and sniffed his crotch. "I'm not sure I can continue. It's too painful."