CHAPTER TEN
BUMPING into Ben three days later was an accident of chance, and in the interim Charlotte had had ample time to wonder what she had got herself into. An emotional quagmire, or so it seemed, in which the main protagonists, Gina and Riccardo, were very happy, leaving her to nurse her confusion on her own. In her head.
Both she and Riccardo had spoken to Gina together. They had anticipated questions, but Gina had accepted this new, startling change of events with an ingenuous lack of curiosity. Typical eight-year-old. Precociously bright she might be, but when it had come to Mummy and Daddy getting married there had been nothing incisive about her exclaiming ‘Great! Can my friends come round and meet my dad?’
And the press, alerted by invisible radar, had changed from pursuit to writing treacly praise for the importance of marriage. Within this framework, Riccardo seemed very satisfied because he had, she acknowledged, got precisely what he had wanted from the very first minute he’d realised that he had a daughter. And he even had her thrown in for good measure.
He had all but moved in, and when he’d been around his eyes had followed her, he’d made sure to touch her, even in passing, and when Gina hadn’t been around he’d pinned her against the wall and they had stolen their heated kisses like star-crossed lovers. And that was the one thing they weren’t, because ‘love’ was the taboo word that had been resoundingly absent in all his dealings with her. He was content with the lust, and she no longer had the strength or the conviction to resist it.#p#分页标题#e#
She had resigned herself to the unhappy prospect of wondering when the lust would end and when he would begin to discreetly cast his net further afield in search of more nubile pastures. She would probably never know, because he would leave no careless signs behind him, and he would continue to treat her with the respect due to her position in his life. And she would never confront him, because she knew already that ignorance would be bliss.
Ben was lucky enough to find her at middday on a sullen, overcast Thursday, sitting in her office with an untouched sandwich next to her, supposedly mulling over a report on first-time buyers and interest rates, but instead gloomily contemplating her life.
It was a few seconds before Charlotte was even aware of his presence by her door, and a few more seconds before she registered who he was, but when she did she found that she was overjoyed to see him. She had spoken to him a couple of times after the story had broken, and he was the only one she had been honest with, and the only one who had not given her a hearty little pep-talk on how lucky she was to have landed the biggest fish in the sea.
‘That’s not a good look for someone living out the fairy-tale dream,’ was the first thing he said as he stepped into the office and shut the door behind him. ‘What’s wrong, Charlotte?’
‘What’s wrong? How much time have you got to spare?’ She gave a manic little laugh that ended on a strangled sob.
‘Okay, my girl. On your feet. I’m taking you out to lunch.’
‘I can’t, Ben. I’ve got all this.’ She waved her hand to take in the computer and the stacks of paperwork sitting on her desk, patiently waiting for her to get her act together.
‘You still have to eat. Now, up. We won’t go far. I’ll have you safely delivered back to the grindstone by one. I’m here for a meeting with Parry at one-thirty, anyway.’
‘Honestly, Ben, don’t ruin your plans for me. I know you just popped in to say hi.’ She stood up. ‘But I’m not getting any work done, and lunch out is just what I need. I can’t tell you how miserable it is being the luckiest girl in the world.’
They went to a brasserie round the corner from the office. They could be guaranteed a certain amount of privacy there, because the food was delicious but wildly overpriced and everyone else in the office avoided the place like the plague. It was also the perfect place to have an emotional conversation without risk of being overheard. The tables were helpfully spaced apart and the atmosphere, even at midday, was curiously intimate.
Without too much prompting, Charlotte poured out her heart. Ben provided the handkerchief, and over an expensive, exquisite beefburger listened to her rambling tale of love and panic, and confusion and love, and lust and uncertainty, and more love. He remained stoic when she told him with an anguished groan that she wished to God she could have loved him the way she loved Riccardo. Ben, who had just started seeing another woman, hoped for the adoration Charlotte obviously still felt for her ex-boyfriend and now husband-to-be. To have that would be nice. Standing outside, he was pleased to see that Charlotte looked a lot less teary, even though he had offered no helpful pieces of advice but had just listened. When she hugged him, he freely wrapped her in his arms and gave her a brotherly kiss on her forehead.