What they said was that two people who were supposed to be on call that night had already called in sick and they had to pull one person from the emergency room to cover and although they sympathized with me, they just couldn’t let me off. If I didn’t show up, there’d only be two house officers to staff the entire emergency room, and they just couldn’t allow that to happen. They told me I should try to switch with someone who was scheduled to be on the next day, if I could find someone who would be willing to switch, but there was just no way they could give me the night off.
How nice of them! After all the abuse I’ve taken through these seven months! After everything I’ve done for them! Whenever they’ve asked me to do anything, I’ve always done it without a whimper! I filled in for other people, I covered wards I’d never been on before because somebody was out, and I never complained. I’ve repeatedly put my job ahead of my family, and this is the thanks I get! The one time my daughter is sick, the one night I need to take off, of course no one would do a thing for me. I asked everybody if they’d switch, if they’d cover for me this one night, and they all had some excuse. I should have just gone home. I should have taken Marie and Sarah home and stayed there and when they called me to find out where I was and why I wasn’t in the emergency room, I would have said . . . I don’t know exactly what I could have said. But, of course, I didn’t do that. What I did was, I brought Sarah and Marie home and went back to the hospital.
The rest of that day was ridiculous. We were short-staffed in the emergency room; the place was like a zoo. Everybody in the Bronx was sick with the flu and had fever and vomiting and coughing. There was a six- to seven-hour wait to be seen through most of the afternoon and night. I rushed around that emergency room until four in the morning, and during all that time I didn’t see a single patient who was as sick as Sarah. I really resented being there, and I must have told that to the nurses and the rest of the staff at least a thousand times.
Marie kept calling me all through the afternoon. She didn’t exactly feel comfortable taking care of a baby with a fever that ranged between 103 and 104, and I can’t say I blame her. I’m sure she was afraid Sarah was going to have a seizure or something. That idea crossed my mind a few times. So she called every half hour or so, saying, “Her fever’s still up. What should I do?” or “Her eyes are getting very glassy. Are you sure you can’t come home now?” Even she had a hard time understanding why I couldn’t just come home to take care of my baby. And there wasn’t anything I could say to her to make her understand because I wasn’t sure I understood it myself.
I finally got out of the emergency room at about four. Larry was wide awake; he hadn’t gotten any sleep, having been up with Sarah all night. Her fever was still up, and she was very irritable. She’d sleep for maybe a half hour and then wake up howling. It’s so strange seeing her like this; she usually has such a good personality. And she was absolutely covered with the measles.
I was all set to call in sick on Wednesday, but Larry had already made arrangements to take the day off, and he told me I should go in. I went, and in the morning Alan called to ask me how Sarah was doing. I gave him a piece of my mind! I told him about how the chiefs had made me work the night before, and he seemed amazed by it. He said he’d go have a talk with them, but a lot of good that’s done me! I’m really so angry. I’ll tell you, this episode has really taught me a lesson. Let them ask me to do anything, let anybody ask me to cover or to switch; my answer is going to be “NO!” I don’t care what it is or who it is, I’m not doing anything for anybody ever again! I’ve had it with these people! I’ve got to look out for my own interests, because no one else is!
Sarah’s better now. The rash is starting to fade. Her temperature came down to normal on Friday, and she’s not irritable anymore. By tomorrow she should be back to her old self. But I’m not going to forget this. You can bet they’re going to regret making me work Tuesday night!
Saturday, February 8, 1986
I’ve just finished packing. My vacation starts after I finish my call in the ER tomorrow night, and we have a ten-twenty flight to Fort Lauderdale on Monday morning. I really need this vacation. I’m physically and emotionally exhausted. We’re spending two weeks in a condominium near Fort Lauderdale; two weeks of lying in the sun and sleeping late. I can’t wait!
Things have pretty much returned to normal. Sarah is back to her old self. The measles have disappeared, and the only things left from the whole episode are my anger and resentment.