I admitted this girl with conjunctivitis [inflammation of the conjunctiva, the outer part of the eye; also called “pink eye”] who turned out to have GC [gonococcus, the bacteria that cause gonorrhea; gonococcal conjunctivitis can be very serious, potentially causing blindness, therefore the infection must be treated very vigorously]. I washed my hands about a hundred times after I examined her but I was sure I got some of the stuff into my eyes. I was positive I was going to turn out to have GC conjunctivitis.
I got maybe an hour of sleep Sunday night and then I had to stay to start fresh on Monday. By that morning I was sick as a dog. I was vomiting and I was sure I had a fever. Larry was going to take the day off from work and stay home with Sarah, but he got called into his office on some emergency, so he had to leave her with Marie, who I’m not sure I trust with medication. I tried to get my work done so I could get home, but I was running at about 10 percent of my usual speed. Susannah told me just to go home, that she’d take care of my patients, but she wasn’t feeling so well herself. Of course, nobody else volunteered to help, neither of the subinterns, who have a total of three patients between them; or the other intern, who I must say had to go to clinic that afternoon; or the resident. I plugged on and on and I didn’t get home until about seven. By that point I felt like I was going to die. I didn’t even care about Sarah anymore. I just got into bed and fell asleep.
When I woke up on Tuesday my eyes were glued shut. I had conjunctivitis. I was sure I had GC. I wanted to go to the hospital and scratch that girl’s eyes out, but when I tried to get up I realized I wasn’t going anywhere. I literally couldn’t get out of bed. My arms felt like they weighed a ton each. I called Arlene, the chief who was on that day, and told her I had the flu and wasn’t able to come in. She gave me a really hard time. “Are you sure you can’t make it?” she asked me. “Are you really too sick to come to work?” I couldn’t believe it!
Larry had to go to work again that day. Before he left, I had him go out and get me some medicine and I wound up staying home and fighting with Marie all day. We mostly fought over little things, but I’ll tell you, it’s a good thing I’m away at work all day because if I had to spend a lot of time with that woman, I’m sure it’d be the beginning of World War III. Of course, if I wasn’t away at work all day, there’d be no reason for her to be coming into my house.
I couldn’t face spending another day alone with her, so I went to work yesterday. I was also on call, and there’s no way you can call in sick on a day you’re on call. When I got to the ward, I found out nothing had been done on any of my patients the whole day before. They had left everything for me! It wasn’t like everyone was busy or anything like that, they just didn’t think to help me out. So I had a stack of labs to check, notes to write, consults to call, tests to schedule, tons of scut. I got yelled at by the oncologists for not doing something on one of their patients. How could I have done it? I was sick in bed all day!
And I found out that my patient with choriocarcinoma had developed a painful infection in her mouth. She got these sores last week and they were getting worse so I sent off a culture and it turned out to be monilia [a common type of fungus]. It was so painful, she hadn’t been able to eat or drink for thirty-six hours! She couldn’t chew or bite, and nobody had even thought to give her anything to make her feel better. When I went into her room, she was literally crying in pain. I talked to the oncologists, and they hadn’t even been told about it. We decided to give her some morphine to see if that relieved the pain. I shot it into her IV and held her hand. Within three minutes, she was feeling better. What’s going to happen to her when I leave at the end of the month?
Anyway, I didn’t have a bad night, but I only got about three hours of sleep, and this morning I was feeling lousy again. I don’t give a damn anymore about anything! When everybody showed up for work this morning, I just told them I was going home. I came home, went to sleep, and slept until a little while ago. Larry’s home and Sarah’s pretty much back to normal. I feel better myself today. It’s not good being a sick intern. You never get a chance to recover. I can see that this flu is going to drag on until the end of the month because I’m just not going to get a chance to rest it out until then. I’m tired and sick, and I’m upset that I’m not able to be a mother to my baby. I really need this vacation. But even that’s been a headache.
We’re planning to go to Israel at the end of the month. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that Larry’s whole family lives in Israel. His sister is getting married and we’re going to the wedding. But Larry’s mother gave me a list of things she wants me to bring for her; nothing expensive or anything, just things that are hard to get there. In order to get the stuff, I’d have to spend a whole day shopping. I don’t have time for that. I can’t just take a day off from work to go shopping! So I told Larry that unless he goes out and gets the things himself, we’re just not going to be able to bring it with us. I’m sorry, but I don’t think it was right of her to ask me to get it. It goes back to the fact that she doesn’t understand what this internship business is all about. Nobody understands it. Nobody could possibly know what it’s like to go through this unless you’ve gone through it yourself.